Indiana University School of Medicine - Caduceus Yearbook (Indianapolis, IN)

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Basic Science Freshman Year Medical students . . . naturally have faith in their instructors, turning to them for truth, and taking what they may choose to give them; babes in knowledge, not yet able to tell the breast from the bottle, pumping away for the milk of truth at all that offers, were it nothing better than a Professor's shrivelled fore- finger. Oliver Wendell Holmes Undoubtedly the (medical) student tries to learn too much, and we teachers try to teach him too much - neither, perhaps, with great success. The existing evils result from neglect on the part of the teacher, student and examiner of the great fundamental principle laid down by Plato - that education is a lifelong process, in which the student can only make a beginning during his college course. The system under which we work asks too much of the student in a limited time. To cover the vast field of medicine in four years is an impossible task. We can only instill principles, put the student in the right path, give him methods, teach him how to study, and early to discern between essentials and non-essentials. Perfect happiness for student and teacher will come with the abolition of examin- ations, which are stumbling blocks and rocks of offence in the pathway of the true student. Sir William Osier Illegitimi non Carborundum Don't let the bastard wear you down.

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TOP IMPRINT MARGIN M6403200 INDIANA UNIVERSITY HOSPITALS HISTORY-PHYSICAL-PROGRESS-OTHER (CIRCLE ONE) Class of 1974, cont. Impression: a . A tatus post Registered letteritis . b. Minites titis x 2, by iix. c. chronic pA.ogtieAA4.ve. pain in post. L. hip 2°- to deflation walleti following several acute financial dis charg eA. d. flea-bitis’ by hx. e. levator palpebrae hypertrophy with claudication bilat. 2° to chronic occular exploitation of the mitten wo ad. f. chronic cervical myalgia 2° to otic lectural stimulation. g. ”Sophomoritis , by hx. h. naA2A disproportia 2° to Jailing textA qHS. i. SOB with ”digiti cAampuA” 2 to f-sequent adminiAtAation of H 6 P's. j. chAonic EtOH intoxication x 4 y i. [at leaAt) but insufficient to pAomote a diuresis of the present illness. k. multiple cAanial academic attacks. l. general fatigue 2° to ” junior-yearitis and uncompensated Aelative hypothyAoidiAm. m. GAam negative Scut injection x 11 mon., by hx. n. mild vaAicoAities 2° to operation longuAn and Atanding waAd AounduA”. o. chAonic gaAtAoenteAitiA l° to Botulee botulii IAtAain: hoApitali cafeterium). p. mental waAting 2° to acute, overwhelming boaAditis x 2. q. palpitations and tachycardia of eminent graduation. A. foreseeable acute FLEXion in next month or so. Summary: Tn summary, this pt. haA a case of chAonic medicaloAchoolitis” of four (4) yeaAS duAation brought-on by an immunological deficiency to Registered letteritis. Recommendations : a. banouet and merriment, A tat. b. EtOH, PRN. c. one doAe of Graduation Medicali in approx. IS hrs. d. rest, ad infinitum. e. Aexual enhancement, PRN. RTC 5 yr. for Reunion d' CIoaa therapy. STATEMENT OF HOSPITAL RELEASE - INDIANA UNIl ERSm MEDICAL CENTER ThiA pi. is hereby released to himself and the world with the above recommendations with wishes for the best of luck and future success. i 77. itAM, 9 USE ONE SIDE ONLY HISTORY-PHYSICAL-PROGRESS-OTHER (CIRCLE ONE)

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Sophomore Year Note the fatty metamorphosis. The girls who kept things straight by day take a pause from their writers of type: Pauline May- field, Mary Beth Locke, Lisa Hayes, Loraine Thomas, Barbara Carter, Nancy Thompson, Ann Gaughan G Myrna Carter. This is the Latin term you'll use when you mean 'Your guess is as good as mine'. Genius is one percent in- spiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. Thomas A. Edison POST - EXAM DISCUSSION Frosh: but Doctor , why did I fail the exam? Doctor: I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. BASIC SCIENCE GRADING GUIDE A B C D F Quality: leaps tall must take run- can only crashes into can't recog- buildings in ning start to leap over buildings when nize build- single bound leap over tall buildings a shed trying to jump them ings or jump Timeliness: faster than fast as a not quite would you wounds self a speeding speeding as fast believe a with bullets bullet bullet slow bullet? while trying to shoot gun Initiative: stronger than stronger stronger shoots the smells like a locomotive than a bull elephant than a bull bull a bull Adaptability: walks on walks on washesl drinks2 passes water water consis- water in with water in emer- tently emergencies water gencies? Communication: talks with talks with talks to argues with loses those God Lisa4 himselfS himself6 arguments but it looked like liver On a locker door in ye olde locker room: Never in the in- tercourse of human events have so many been fucked over by so few. (remember the class??) 1: automatic A in Public Health G Preventive Medicine 2: automatic A in Renal Medicine 3: wins home dialysis machine G autographed cigar 4: automatic A in Dr.. Tyler's course 5: automatic C in Psychiatry G automatic A in Child Guidance 6: automatic A in Psychiatry Jerry takes the tube in micro. One of the chief defects in our plan of education in this country is that we give too much attention to developing the memory and too little to developing the mind; we lay too much stress on acquir- ing knowledge and too little on the wise application of knowledge. William J. Mayo Have you noticed, when they are strong in hearts, they casually mention DeBakey or Shumacker?