Independence High School - Wapsie Yearbook (Independence, IA)

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1923 -.l THE WAPSIE Ambassador to Great Britain. His wife, Flora, is a dazzling English nobility with her beauty and charming manner. Howard's only worry is her innumerable flirtations with the royalty of the country. I also have one whose mind turns toward politics, interrupted Miss Mather, 'Fern Hayes is a senator in Congress and evidently a very successful one. She has employed as her stenographers, Juanita Barclay and Lois Downing. Joe Till is her business manager. My goodness. spoke up Mr. Gray, You'd think a senator in congress would be able to manage her own business. But then I suppose she'd have to use Joe somewhere. 'And listen to this, continued Miss Mather, She has introduced a bill into the House which will set aside a special patent oflice for the inventions of the members of her class. It was found that so many patents were applied for by this class that the regular officials couldn't do them. Here Mr. Roberts interrupted douhtfully, We will look into this matter more closely. Has anyone anything in the way of invention? I should say yes. exclaimed Mr. Haney, Harold Norton and Edgar Hallett have worked out a machine by which we can regulate the weather. Edgar's wife, formerly Mary Mitchell. has taken the role of aviator and runs the aeroplane while Harold and Edgar scatter electrically charged grains oflisand on the clouds. These cause the clouds to release their moisture in the form of rain. According to this paper they have signed a contract with the government and are flying all over the United States causing it to rain during dry seasonsf' I seem to have the local people, interposed Miss Smith, Dorothy Keaggy is serving her second term as mayor of Independence. This must be quite an hon- orable position for it says here that Independence has outgrown Des Moines in population that it may be voted the capital city. Another proof of its growth is that Helen Becter Westemier and her husband Joe have started a chop suey restaurant there. Miss Ward, what do you have? asked Mr. Roberts. Well, dear me, exclaimed our History teacher, I have been all this time trying to figure it out, The name is Lyle Meyers and the place is New York City. It is rather dim as to what he is doing. tfpausel Burglar? No. Anarchist? Yes, that's it, and he has joined a conspiracy to undermine the Woolworth building and blow it to the skies. Well, I doubt that. Mine proves to be rather interesting, offered Mr. Ferree with a laugh. Let's hear it, chimed the others, It will be a change anyway. This concerns some kind of a traveling troupe, Mr. F erree continued, called 'Dannenbrink's Daring Dancers' made up of Eileen Brown, Ethel Firth, Lorena Kester and Doris Cooke. Let us pass on, said the ever tactful chairman. Let me congratulate you, Miss Carney, interrupted Miss Stolt, excitedly. Here, three of your Normal Training Girls, Gladys Miller, Blanche Place, and Neva Madson, have founded a school for the 'Perpetuation of the Old Fashioned Girl,' and two more, Margaret Toomey and Hildred Potwin, are teachers in the Phillippine Islands.

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THE WAPSIE ............,l..,,..,. PROPHE C Y Once upon a time there was an Educated Mouse who lived in the Faculty Corner And this is what she is said to have heard at Teacher's Meeting one Tuesday night. The presiding officer, Mr. Roberts, rapping on the table with a practised hand. said, The meeting will please come to order. The subject for the evening's discussion is the Intelligence Test lately perpetrated by Prof. Pauseanponder as applied to the Senior Class of the Independence High School. Intelligence Test! On the Seniors! rose a babel of voices Must they pass to graduate? It isn't fair! It shouldn't be allowed! Let us have your undivided attention, reproved the chairman, This Intel- ligence Test is a very simple process designed for the purpose of foretelling the fates of the Senior Classmenf' Here a groan arose, You know' it is the custom of this school to allow no class to graduate without having formed some adequate idea as to how they will succeed in the business world. For the year of nineteen twenty three we have chosen this method. The test applies Coue's well known principle of auto-suggestion on the sub- conscious mind. When the Seniors are prepared for the test they are given paper and pencil and allowed to gaze for a period of fifteen minutes into the Ether of the Future. Thus, unwatched, the subconscious mind registers its thought on the paper. It may be stated that, in order to secure good results, the subject's mind must be quite blank. . I It begins to sound practical as applied to the class of nineteen twenty three remarked Mr. Farris, sarcastically. , Prof. Pauseanponder asks, continued Mr. Roberts, That the teachers co- operate in this wonderful new process by examining the papers and deciding in as brief a statement as possible what is likely to become of each member of our present Senior Class. - It was the following Tuesday that the Class Mouse again took up her position behind the rows of books in the Library. When the meeting had been called to order, the papers were distributed among the several teachers. There ensued a silence so eerie that the Class Mouse shivered in her neat little Russian boots. Mr. Roberts arose and taking out his watch, requested that within a period of five minutes each teacher be able to give a summary of his or her paper. The silence which followed was iirst broken by Miss Wolin's giggle, Oh, Harken ye! was her exclamation, Wesley Towlerton has organized a circus and employed several of our Seniors. Nilo Miller is his chief clown and the success of the season and Helen Wendling. is a tight wire walker. A tight wire walker, echoed Miss Gaffin, How did she ever learn to control her giggling long enough to keep her balance? Q Now that Miss Wolin has uncermoniously opened our quest, said Mr. Roberts, We will continue. Next. With some hesitation-and careful choice of words, Miss Carney proceeded. Howard Palmer is conscientiously fulfilling the honorable position as America's iii-1-1923

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THE WAPSIE What do you know about this, came from Mr. Farris, Lester Brooks and T' W. Moody have taken over Muscle Shoals Project and are furnishing the U.S. and part of Europe with fertilizer! Wow! That's one on Henry! 'The Madame Barnett King Tut Department Store', read Miss Ogline, That must mean that Marion has opened a shop for King Tut Clothes. Who would have thought that those out-landish garments would last so long. It seems that she tried the stage but gave it up for something that would require less hard work. Her designers in this wondrous work are Helen O'Neil and Dick Everds and her model is Vera Hood. Mercy on us! exclaimed Miss White, La Verne Griffith has organized a party to explore the interior of Africa. The party is composed of Dorothy Winter, Helen Potwin, Fred Lane, Ruth French and Mildred Ireland. Mildred is quite in- timate with several kinds of snakes and intends to join Tolly's Circus as a snake charmer when she returns. Whatever has possessed the scalawags? As the laughter and applause which followed this outburst died away, Miss Gaffin was heard saying, Leo Miller, with the aid of his wife, Madaline, has invent- ed a wonderful new gum. It is guaranteed not to lose its flavor since it has none and will last indefinitely. It is a combination parafin and sealing wax and can be obtained only at an exorbitant price. It is purchased by Rockerfeller, Vanderbilt, and Astor Families. The factory is located at Doris, Iowa. After a short pause Miss Gaffin continued, And here is Helen Salisbury at Hazleton. Her work is something concerning books- not an authoress. No, a librarian, city librarian. Chl Miss Smith. I, also am favored with some local people. This came from Miss Draper. Royal Parks is the Presbyterian minister at Independence. His wife, formerly Gladys Moody, is a faithful partner, feeding and clothing the poor from Royal's scanty salary. Their friend, Eloise, nurse in the Peop1e's Hospital, spends much of her time working in the city slums of Independence. Isn't it fine that some of our people have chosen the paths of charity and religion? What of Helen Hawkins? queried several voices at once, Mr. Gray, we haven't heard from you. H I Mr. Gray gazed attentively at his paper and began in an awed tone. I see the large, black headlines of the Independence Conservative concerning an invention known as Hawkin's Naturaphone. This will record all the sounds of Nature. By this means people may sit in their city homes and listen to the songs of birds and whisperings of the winds in the trees. I also have another, Clara Stiefel has organized 'The Iowa No Slang Society', She has many faithful followers from her former classmates of Independence and the organization increases daily in its membership. There was a general stir as Mr. Gray's story ended and the teachers looked up to see that dusk had crept unnoticed into the corners. Unconsiously all eyes fell upon Miss Carney whose terrified gaze was resting upon a distant point in a dark corner. Again the glance was shifted and there stood the little Class Mouse which, in her excitement, had crept from her hiding place. She went scampering away and the Faculty meeting ended in a general rush for the door. 192.3