Imbler High School - Golden Reveries Yearbook (Imbler, OR)

Page 31 text:

Senior CladA (Prophecy, 0—0 TIME—1972 PLACE—HEAVEN ONLY KNOWS The Senior Class of 1950 was always unpredictable It all starts out on a summer night when we find Mrs. Felix Egbert Von Visselsnopper. formerly known as Miss Shirley Rae Frizzell, sitting on the edge of her private swimming pool fanning herself with a fan made of thousand dollar bills. She slowly drifts iinto a troubled sleep. As dreams start flashing through her mind a vision of a former classmate Lefty Wes-tenskow. appears. Lefty is pitching for the Brooklyn Dodgers. He is known as “Do Bum Supreme.” His famous hydrogen activated spitball has been mowing them down. His salary of $1.00 per day and keep is considered extraordinary in this day. Suddenly Mrs. Von Visselsnopper’s dreams turn into a nightmare, when her eardrums are bombarded by the chords of “Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto No. 1” being played by Mrs. Maryhelen Bergeron, formerly known as Miss Larsen. Her husband by choice is employed as a riveter in a boiler factory. He says his work keeps him so deaf he can enjoy his home life especially when his wife is practicing and their five children are beating on some of their father’s boilers. In her troubled sleep Shirley slowly raises one arm and turns on her new television set, and whose smiling face should appear but that of Dean Winchell McKinnis who is known world wide for his feature program, the Lover’s Retreat.” His Plymouth failed him in a fast get-away. He is now married. As the screen clouds over, Shirley’s mind once more turns to a former classmate, Mountain Tammy”, better known as Tamarack Bob Starns. He recently broke into print after ten years seclusion by producing an odorless skunk with stripes running round and round instead of back and forth. He was aided in his research by Mountain Gal” Craig and their sextriplets who will participate in the winter sports events at Landgon Lake. Several days later, Shirley is driving through a little southern town. The sun is shining brightly on the vine-clad walls of The Louisiana Experiment Station.” There early in the morning is Dean Robinson (Elaine) who has advanced from a brilliant teaching career to a research specialist. The dean and her entire staff are spending every possible minute on the problem, how to convert the razor-back hog from a slab of bacon with four legs to a hunk of sausage with no legs. Shirley is delighted as she visualizes the low lights shining from a beanery set in the center of the Ozark Mountains. There as the dawn breaks gently across the hills we find Dixie Booth. The Baked Boston Bean Sweetheart of Uranium Gulch.” She is preparing for the business of tomorrow when the one thousand miners will swarm into town for their Saturday game of Canasta. It is to her acclaim that nary a drop” is sold in town until every man has his alloted portion of her famous foods. Although the class of 1950 had always been unpredictable, Shirley is well satisfied with the careers of her unforgotten classmates.