The Illman School - Span Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

Page 19 text:

History of the Class of 1904 IND READER-If you have a few spare moments allow me to conduct you within yon- der pretentious portals. By the emblazoned signs and gaudy posters it is evident that X it is the entrance to a Dime Museum. And this is no cheap affair-O, no ! Witliiii is one of the most wonderful collections of freaks in the world-the class of 1904 of the Hill School. Dangerous, did you ask? Not at all ,' all the wild specimens are confined in strong cages. Let us proceed within . You may notice the lack of a barker in this establishment, but it was a peculiarity of the class--there was no brazen-lunged loud-mouth worthy of the position. Did you say the price of admission was high? My goodness! We are fortunate to escape so easily among these characters. Please notice the ticket agent. That is Pierpont Rockefeller Banks. They say the museum is losing money, but it is evident that Manager Banks is not, eh? You observe that he is studying trigonometry and carefully cultivating some curly red whiskers. just two pet hobbies of his, you know. - Now for the exhibits. Here on the right, in the iirst booth, is Orlando Romeo Allen. The mail bag is his own private one, and that pile of letters has been received to-day. His only occupation is to sit there as he is now, a love story in one hand and a busy pen in the other. Yes, he has the world's record for receiving and answering letters. From the tremendous size of the next booth you rightly expect something great. Behold! the Christian athlete, Billy Bounce, sometimes called Williarii Borden, the self-satished man! just look at him! The bulging muscles! COh, no, it isn't fat.j The austere brow! The manifest tender love for his beautiful wife. Ah, it is grand, grand ! Now, if you are ready to proceed, notice the next exhibit. It is a cage, as you see, but be calm, the bars are strong. The terrifying shapes within are two Central African gorillas, nicknamed Flapper-face and Pincer-facef' Observe how they play together like the tiny II