IIT Chicago Kent College of Law - Transcript Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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THE. Tx N6 Q 4 sure that he or she could be more fond and dutiful and loving to another's spouse, why let he or she make such arrangements to bring such a thing about and when that has been done, equity will do the rest, usually by the way of an agent, the coroner. ' . I SEVENTH MAXIMUM. Equity aids the vigilant and not the indolentf' In other words, if you don't keep on your toes you don't get to first base with the equators or dispensers of equity. Don't let. the grass grow under your feet, and if the afore mentioned spouse talks about Bertha or William in his or her sleep and your name is Florence or Claude, equity won't help much if you don't step on the gas and get the facts in the case and act upon them. Likewise in criminal matter. If you happen to be murdered or manslaughtered and like a rummy don't say anything about it, don't blame equity for not taking much of an interest in your affairs. I EIGHTH MAXIMUM. A Equity imputes an intention to fulfill an obligation. In divorce, equity assumes that the he-spouse will show the she-spouse 'where to get off at, as a fulfillment of the promise to obey, which is still, as in the days of the bond issue for the. Pyramids, still snickered out during the ceremony that does you in until death takes away the sting, and to criminals not so well versed in equity, a hint at this time to shoot if they say they are going to, would no doubt be well advised. Nothing gets the Honorary Judges so sore as for a stick-up man that's supposed to be in good standing to go back on his word. NINTH MAXIMUM. Equality is equity. A good terse explanation of this maximum would be, Take a guy your own size. It looks fierce to see a little bit of a mur- derer, scaling a hundred and ten, confronted in the court room with a two hundred and twenty-pound corpus delicti. E-quity's mission is to even things up, and in the above instance equity would no doubt award the de- fendant another murder free, because there certainly was an imposition somewhere. In the same manner, where the difference in weight betwixt and between loving spouses is over fifty pounds, equity will require the heavier mate to keep one hand strapped behind the back, and in case the difference is a hundred pounds or more, brass or platinum knuckles to match the ring of servitude will be presented the runt out of the fund left over after the attorneys, solicitors, advocates and counsellors get theirs. . TENTH MAXIMUM. Equity looks upon that as done which ought to be done. If for in- stance a man leaves his jewelry store open all night, equity will award the cleaning out contract to the five finger artist in whose district this gentle- man has his place of business. Likewise if a fond -spouse catches her hus- band with some dizzy blonde, equity will decree that the wife should go out for an evening with either a lounge lizard or a cake-eater, for equity will not stand by: and see the husband get the only gypping. Take a reference here to the Illinois law on that point. Yousta vs. I-Iasbin, 414 Ill., 1925 Page 168

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THE. Q e E i I either a total stranger on skullduggery bent, or by a fond and loving spouse, should there not be a remedy? Yes, there most certainly should not, for did not the old Roumanians say, I-Ieaven helps them as helps theirselvesj' and that then is E.quity's remedy, a soak in the eye for a soak in the eye. q SECOND MAXIMUM. ' Equity follows the Law. In ye olden tymes this meant that. But now it doesn't mean so much, if any. Today, whatever day this happens to be, fa good up to date calendar will be of inestimable value herej it means that after the law gets through with you, the Equity Man will get you if you don't watch your step. In Divorce it works this here way. After the legal fracas in the Domestic Reluctance Court, then you can have recourse to the Humorable judges on Chancery Setting and there you get your solicitor's fees. In Crimes, what does it 'matter who gets there hrst, Law or Equity, the County jail by any other name would swell your feet. . THIRD MAXIMUM. I Where the equities are equal, the first in time shall prevail. That means, first come, first table. If the loving spouses soak each other in the eye instanter, the first law clerk under the time stamp at the Clerk's office gets the barbed wire wrist watch, the second gets darn poor wages. So in criminality, hit him for possibly herj and then run like anything, to, not for, a gendarme who will gather you in his protecting arms 81 squeeze you fondly. FOURTH MAXIMUM. Where there are equal equities the law must prevail. This is a bit harder for the layman to get through his skull, but to us legally learned little luminaries, it's a pipe, as Charlie Dawes said when asked why he carried a monkey wrench in his mouth. This maximum means that if burglar and tenant, or loving spousesff2'j fEach othersjl have such a grip on each other that neither can make a Moscow, during the course of the day a minion of the law will no doubt give you a ride in the lovely Morgan Collins Blue enclosed cars so much seen in front of some of our most prom- inent bootlegger's doors these here days of draught. FIFTH MAXIMUM. QA Fifth is commonly called a quart but don't let them get away with it.j I-Ie who comes into Equity must come with clean hands. You've read these Sherlock Combs Stories where the safe- Cnounj -blower always works with gloves on. Well, those writers tell you it's to prevent getting the furniture all full of finger marks, but it's no such a thing. It's to be prepared to come into Equity, that's what it is. These safe-blowers aren't so dumb. In Divorce and Murders the point is to leave the body alone after you shoot him, or else wear gloves. SIXTH MAXIMUM. He who seeks equity must do equity. In other words, instead of waiting for equity to to all the work for you, go out and do your job and then get the equitable O. K. This is particularly applicable to Divorces. Like, for instance, suppose one of the fond, dutiful and loving spouses is 1925 l ii ix Page 167

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t F , a noisy Appellate lOl. The court there held that a wife had as much right to come back from an auto ride with clean shoes as a husband did to come home from a poker party with face powder on his shoulder and a lipstick signature on his forehead, evensif he did lose all his money holding three queens. M I D ELEVENTH MAXIMUM. Equity acts in personamf' Meaning to say, it tells the various parties where to get off at rather than go after their property. That's exactly how it should be. in divorce and criminal matters. It doesnft doiany good to take away a bandit's gun or make a levy on a husbandis property for ali- monial reasons. Equity,'on the contrary, would make the yegg attempt to hold up Jack Dempsey, after allowing jack a pair of four-ounce gloves and arming the bad guy with a half pound of marshmallows. Results thus obtained have a lastinger effect than merely proceeding against his property. As to divorce in this regard, equity will decree that the parties stay away from' each other altogether rather than have the furniture divided between the combatants. - Now then, these are the important Rules or Maximums in Equity, and although they never were applied to divorce and criminal law before, don't you see how appropriate they are? Wh,y, most anyone could see that. So there they are, take them or leave them and use'them and work with them and the benefits that come from labor will be made clear to you, for as Paul Revere said when he started out on his ride for the mail, Them that has gets, and them as feedsthe horses is them as rides. I Prof: What marked woman's debut in politics ? Osk: I don't know, but it was some time before the reign of Herodf' Prof: Wl1at makes you think that? I Osk: Well, history states that Salome's motions before the house rc- ceived great applause. , I AN ARCHDEACONS CCURT The following passage from Chaucer's Friaris Tale is delightfully de- scriptive of the jurisdiction exercised by an archdeacon in his court in the good old days of Chaucer. I y ' Whilom there was dwellyng in my countre, An erchedeken, a man of great degre, That boldely did execucioun, ' In punyschyng of fornicacioun, Of wicchecraft, and eek of bauderye, Of diffamacioun, and avoutrie, Of chirche--reves,aand of testamentes, Qf contractes, and of lak of sacraments, And eek of many another maner cryme, , VVhich needith not to reherse at this tymef' 192 Page 169