Hutchinson Central High School - Calendar Yearbook (Buffalo, NY)

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141 THE CALENDAR most famous quartets, they form a block on the stock market and control all the stock of the Radiovision Corporation of America. Miner:-Allan Dyte wrote their last hit entitled, Don't Hang Up the Wash While lt's Raining. Dot Gaffke and her Band of Bums have made it a huge success. Freak :-There's Ham Jones over in the corner. He will probably give an illus- trated lecture on Beauty Spots of the Tonawandasf' Ruth Long is over there too. She just made a hit in the Whoopees of 1950', and became Broadway's favorite over night. She was entertained the other day in Jerry McMahon's tea room down in Greenwich Village. Did you know that Florence Lazuras and Lily Friedman are pursuing Dramatics there. Miner:-I hope they catch them. Chet Brcnntfuehrer is on Easy Street with Ruth Long's five year contract in his pocket. He's going to clean up! Which reminds me, Bobby Gross was elected Commissioner of Streets up in Hamburg the other day. The two political factions are warring as to whether his secretary shall be Ruth Marcussen or Henrietta Maier. Freak :-While Leone Babcock is telling how fudge might be made if she knew how to make it, l'd like you to tell me whatever became of our two big football men, Jerry Brock and Frank Schiavone. Miner :-Funny thing, Jack, but they both became football coaches. Jerry is head coach at Yale. By the way, Esther Pfohl became Dean there just a few years ago. It's the first time that the University has had a woman executive. And as for Frank, he is filling the place Hurry-up Yost vacated upon his retirement eight years ago. Yale and Michigan are deadly rivals now. At the last game two of our class, Tommy Dileo and Pat Salemi were shelled with pop bottles for predicting that neither side would score. Eva Mayer, that great journalist, in an editorial called Common Sense-As It Is Applied said that if they had used their heads and pre- dicted one side to be the winner, the barrage would have been cut in two and at the same time would have enjoyed the support of the college they had defended. At the hospital, the head nurse, Olive Sketchley, said it was only through a miracle that they escaped misplaced eyebrows. Freak :-Well, that's interesting! Wait a moment now, I've got an idea there's something doing in Hollywood. Miner:-Letis have a glance. Get the Osa Glover Studios. Freak :-Here it is and right in the middle there is one of the bunch writing gags for comedies. I can't make him out yet. Miner :-I can. It's Al Maggioli and that is just what I thought he would end up with. Look, over there to the left. They're filming a talkie. Let's concentrate on that. CPausej There, it's closing up now. Freak :fYes, and the hero is none other than Tommy Kennelly. Miner:-Everybody says he is a second John Gilbert. In his last picture, Sifted Flour he broke all box office records. Freak :-The girl playing opposite him now is one whom you should remember. It's Jennie Jengo. She went to Europe, stayed there ten years, and then came back a finished actress. I understand she is making lots of money. Miner :-Itis a fact and Emerie Spahn is losing his hair taking care of it. They say that when he made out her income tax last year, the government thought the remittance was a payment in full of all our old war debts. Freak :-QLaughsj Say there's Johnny Pitkin directing that play. He still wears those traditional short pants. And there's those world famous juvenile stars, Ethel

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THE CALENDAR 13 l Miner:-fAwe-strickenj You don't tell me! Freak Miner Freak '-Certainly I do! This is a wonderful cave! Do you see that rock? '-Yes, I believe I actually do. :-That rock is highly sensitive-in fact it is an absolute television plate. By merely concentrating your mind upon some individual or place, you witness upon this rock a motion picture of your subject. Would you like to try it? Miner :-Do you hear me resenting? Freak :-Very well, then. Sit down here. fThey both sit down facing wall at right which suddenly becomes illuminatedj. Now, concentrate on the subject you wish exposed. Miner:-Let's try Chicago. That's a nice quiet place. fSlight pausej Look, Jack, look! It's coming on! And it's one of those Marathon singing contests. Darvin De Marchi and Anthony Sapienza are in it. They're at it again. I remember the first one they were in. Anthony sang Way Down South in Dixie for two weeks and a half. Darvin won because he sang The Stars and Stripes Forever. Freak:-Here comes the promoter on the screen. It's Elmer Toll! He's a big marathon promoter now. I understand he will stage a gum chewing marathon at Crystal Beach next summer. If Helen Maidy, Tillie Miller and Eddy Willahan take tickets as usual, they'll have to open an annex. Eleanor Peacock and Velma Hurst have entered their names as competitors. Still up to old tricks. If you know what I mean. Blanche Lankler is head nurse for the affair. She'll come out of this a jaw specialist. Miner:-Thereis a box of Ossy Till's Chewing Gum for the winner, and a week's vacation as guest of Irma Hausauer, Buffalo's World-famous aviatrix. Re- cently, she made a successful non-stop flight from the airport in Buffalo all the way to Kenmore. Doris Gehrs is kept busy sending out autographed photos of Irma to her many fans. fSlight pausej Jack, this is absolutely wonderful l Let's have New York. Freak :-Certainly! Weill see what's going on there. Miner Freak '-There it comes. Why it looks just like a radio station. And that's just what it is. Miner:-Here comes the announcer up to the microphone now. Say, that's old Bill Steils. Freak '-Nobody else but! With that little mustache of his you would never recognize him as the Bill Steils we once knew. Two more of our bunch are his assis- tants, Bill Deranek and Bob Dahmer. They were recenttly awarded the Gift of Gab. Miner:-They're always trying to beat each other. Last April Fool's Day, Bill called Bob on the phone. Bob lives out Main Street now. Bill disguised his voice and said, Hello, Mr. Dahmer? And Bob answered, Speaking.', Then Steils spoke as follows: I'm Mr. Greenwater representing the General Outdoor Advertis- ing Company. As I understand it, your residence is on the Main Street Car Line? Dahmer replied in the affirmative. Then,', said Bill in a cool voice full of con- viction. You had better get it off Bob, there's a street car coming. Bob is still Waiting his chance to get even. Freak :-fAfter laughingj Here's a bunch you surely remember! They've stuck together ever since graduation. Reading from left to right they are, Buddy Wolfe, Cotty Emslie, Joe Marvin and George Doran. Besides being one of the country's

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THE CALENDAR 15 Baldwin and Milly Bell. They've both made their fortunes in the talkies and though they are rivals, they remain the best of friends. Ethel lays her success to the fact that she has taken Mellin's Baby Food twice a day ever since childhood. Milly has never forsaken Kenneth Winnie's delightful soap preparation. Jack Ebberts who plays opposite both of them is absolutely non-partisan in declaring who is the better actor. Right now Jack is being filmed with Thin-Gin-Gin in a northern drama. The name of it is The Snake in the Grassf' Miner:-Your mention of soap a moment ago reminded me of soap boxes and soap boxes remind me that Fannie Lippa is advocating a radical change in the weather. She has made several stirring speeches about it. And speaking of stirring reminds me that Evelyn Skinner is conducting a cooking school now and has made some won- derful discoveries in the art of Cake Baking. Elvira Privatera and Leona Goetz are the chief demonstrators and they certainly whip a mean cake. Bruno Zagner and Eugene Goris are the testers. They never recover from indigestion. They never get the chance. And that calls to my mind ---- Freak :-And while all this reminding is taking place, may I remind you that you are probably long overdue at the surface. They will start a search for you. Miner:-That's right! I guess I'll have to get started back. But say, Jack, youive got to come with me. I won't leave you down here any longer. Freak:-fI.aughing sadlyj Sorry, Ed hut I couldn't go back like this and you couldn't expect me to. This is my fate and I've got to live it out. You know we all have a destiny ------ His voice is drowned out by a sudden road of thunder. The house is plunged into darkness and there are frequent flashes of lightning. The thunder continues. Sud- denly the stage lights go on disclosing the interior of a room. There two over-stuffed chairs on stage, one left front and the other right back. There are other pieces of incidental furniture. In the chair right back, Jack is seated comfortably reading a scientific magazine. In the other, Ed is sleeping but suddenly comes to life as the thunder continues. He rises and stretches and - - Ed:-Some storm. It's pouring out. CHe watches storm for a moment and then turns to Jackj. Say Jack! f.Iack looks up closing bookj I just had the funniest dream. Jack :-From the way you snored, I thought you were having a nightmare. CHQ: comes forward and meets Ed in center front stage.j Ed:-Well, it was as far as you're concerned. I dreamed that I was a miner and that while mining coal in Pennsylvania I broke into an underground cave and while examining the walls you came upon me as a freak. fJack looks disgustedlyj. Jack :-That so? Ed:-Yes and I dreamed that on the rock wall we were able to see what was going on out in the world just be concentrating on that subject. Funny dream, wasnlt it? But I saw all the old bunch at school doing things twenty-five years from now. Jack:-Maybe I could get you a position as a medium. Ed:-Well I'm going to tell Einstein about it. He'll be interested! And for that matter I might be able to use that idea in the prophecy that I'm going to write for the Class. Jack :-CAS they start to walk off stagej It's a good idea but if you don't mind, I shouldn't like to have my name connected with that freak in the future. Ed:-CAssuringlyj Sure thing, Jack. CURTAIN EDMOND COLEMAN.