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Page 14 text:
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THE ARGUS WH' f Q I I I be-Q 1 iss' 1- . Ai R' 3. ff ,-in .o,-f 'U 4D'g,lY 'C -' f Q Sanfa Haratiun Being a series of letters from Samuel I. Snooks to his pal, Mr. Kennielth Rutle.dge, Jr., 'The Evergreens, Berkely, L. I. Collected and Published by Mary Frances Lindsley, Ag4. Dear Ken, I guess you think I'm in jail for speeding, or dieiad-or something,-I haven't written you for such a long time. But my dad has removed his roadster from my possession because I ran down 3, crow in trying to avoid Mr. K. K. Klan, the new candidate for mayor. The cow was a greater loss to the com- munity than Mr. Klan would have been, and its owner saw my Dad. Now, he wont even let me drive a waffle cart. So I am not in jail yet, and, you remember, not 'elven your sister's cooking could kill me, so I am not dead yet. But I have been very illl, Ken, and it was from toverstudy. My sister says it was from overeating, but she is a fnelsh kid, Ken, and I feel much broltherly concern about her future. Any- how, my Mother says it was from overstucly, and what Mother says Dad says,-and the Doctor don't say anything. QSome- how I don't like that last phrase, Ken. It sounds ungrammat- icalg but I am so proficient in Latin and Greek that I have very little time for Englishj Well, anyway, Ken, Mother has suggestiesd that I go to the seashore -or country, and rest a while, now that my vacation is here. I would go to your house, Ken, but since I burned your barn down by accident, with those confounded cigarettes last summer, I feel I'd' better not come again and wear my I 12
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Page 13 text:
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V r ,lk 'fx' ' XJ , , 1 7 T H E A R G U S ' 1 X 'L fmqj , :gel a w X Xf!V?S1 SIH ,5 32' Wk j D PX 5' X 1 1 f F all mlm bathe 1121112121 in iis rreaiinn, ihis hunk is xespezifullg emit hnpefullg ileitimieit. 3511111217 Qlnllege, jf? glazumrg, 1924
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Page 15 text:
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THE ARGUS welcome out. My sister says it is as worn out as a pair of marathon dancing sllippers, lalready. I't's kids like her thalt make those reformer fellows criticize the pnelsent gene.ration's manners. Well, Ken, I am going to a swell seaside resort whe.re I will get heist and quiet, and have a gay time. But I'm going t-o take it very easy, as my Mother advises. Will write soon, old top, and how about a line from you? Your old pal, Sam P. S.-Do not lslhow this letter to your sister, because of refer- ence to coiofking. S. Dear Ken, Well, I am stopping at the Falter Inn, Banckroll Bluff, Mass. Aim surprised that I have not heard from you, but sup- pose you have been very busy since you graduated from Law School. I hate to tvhlink of you as 3, lawyer, Ken, fvovr you wene always such an honest, upstanding sort of chap, but I am not prejudiced, and you will always be my friend. There are a good many distingulishleld people here, Ken. There is a broker on his wfay to Sing Sing, and 3, bolotlegger on hisway to Fifth Avenue, and there was Rudolph Valen- tino. He stopped here for five minutes on Tuesday, while changing cars, and was senapshotted by all the Happers,-and signed 2,999 autograpihls. There are 3000 pe.ople at this resort, Ken, but the 3000th is old and crippled, and his six daughters and fifteen ,giranddaugihlters were too rushed to take his album with them. There has been an :epidemic of sideburns since Tuesday, and I am growing a pair. I think they look silly on him, you know, Ken, but they looked kind of Well on me, if I do say it myself. I walked into Cal Higgins' drug-store the other day, and a girl in a pink hat said, That's Rudlollpih Valiefnrtino, as sure as y1ou're born! So I turned around, sort of casual, and sfaid, I beg your pardon ? Q Strange to say, Ken, as soon as she recognizfexl me, she giggled so that her escort had to revive her with a nut sundae. I tak1el it, Kenfshe laughed from embarrassment, but I shaved off those sideburns as soon as I ,got home. R. V. is a fairly goodflloloking chap, Ken, but he has his faults, and I would rather be loved for myself alone. Anylfdow, imitation is flat- 13
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