Hunter College High School - Argus Yearbook (New York, NY)

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' LAFF-O-LETTES-Continued These Foolish Days This song about ban- anas makes me sick, said the foolish old gentleman. In my days, we had songs like 'Ta Ra Ra Boom De Ay,' and 'Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me a Bow-Wow.' They had some sense to 'em. ar wk lk One-Sided Town What town is this? I don't see any town. You're looking out the wrong side of the car. vp wk ac All jones's Fault Prof: This is the third time you've looked on jones's paper. Stude: Yes, sir. jones doesn't write very plainly. Pk Dk lk Popularity depends on how you treat your friends and how often. wk lk Pk My father was killed in a feud. I never would ride in one of those cheap cars. :sf ak :sf Doctor flookin-g at gar- den patchj :--Pat, that's a bad job. It's all covered with rocks and gravel. Pat :-Faith, sor, and there's many a bad job of yours tha't's kivered over with rocks and gravel. Why Doctors Go Mad Insurance Doctor-- Were you ever in the hospital? Yes, once. What for? To see my aunt. an Bk we His Point of View A friend -of ours went to a dentist and asked him to take a look at his teeth. The dentist did so and seemed full of ad- miration. What do you think of them ? asked the patient. Magnificent! Magnifi- cent! was all the dentist said. Then you donlt find anything to do to them ? To do to them? Why, there are four to be pulled, six to be filled, and a bridge to make, said the dentist. ar 4: 4: Higher Mathematics A country lad went to New York and tried to secure a job on the police force. He passed the physical tests, 'but the written examination gave him a little trouble. One question was: A man buys an article for S1225 and sells it for 559.753 does he gain or lose on the transaction? After pondering over the question, our rural friend finally answered: He gains on the cents. but loses on the dollars. 120 Keeping It Quiet An Irish laborer had been warned to be care- ful of a quarry pit in the neighborhood. His fore- man saw him suddenly stagger and disappear over the crest of the opening. At once he ran to the edge. Are you dead, Patrick? Sure an' I'm kilt en- tirely. Man, you don't sound dead. Well, If I'm not dead, I'm knocked spachelessf' wk af a- Feminine Visitor fwatching the governor's wife name the shipj:- My good man, is your 'baby christened? Cautious Riveter:-No, indade, mum, oim afraid the bottle moight hurt his head. :af PF :r And in conclusion, let us remark that: Whatever trouble Adam had No man in days of yore Could say, when he had told a joke, I've heard that one be- fore. an wk ir We wish to tender our sincere thanks 'to the Eras- mian, the Literary Digest, Life, Hygeia, and a few other publications, from whose pages we have culled no small number of our,-well, you might even call them ajokes.

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LAFF-O-LETTES-Continued VVomen's faults are many, Men have only two: Everything they say, and Everything they do. 4: 4- 4: The Modest Male She: What a pity it is that handsome men are so conceited. He: Not always, my dear. I am not. ar an 4: Ditto She: Did any of your family make a good mar- riage? He: Only my wife. as in nf The Honored System Regents, Regents, every- where With drops and drops of ink: But never a Prof. who'll leave the room And allow a man to think. wk wk 4: Magistrate: Did the prisoner offer any resist- ance? OFF1cer: Only half a dol- lar, yer honor, and I wouldn't take it. an wr wr I have a bad cold teacher. How'd you get it? Too much outside read- ing. just think of getting two ham sandwiches, soup, potato salad, and ice-cream for fifteen cents. Where's this? Nowheres, b u t j u s t think of it. P r i s o n e r fstuttering painfullyj: Tz-ez-tz-st-st. Magistrate: Dear, dear. What's he charged with, Constable? Constable: Sounds like soda water, yer Honor. wk wk wk He was a milkman with a sense of humor. Why are you so late with our milk ? asked an old lady. Well, you see, mum, he answered, the gov- ernment allows only 25,000 bacteria to a gallon and you'd be surprised how long it takes to count the little devils. an :sf ik I want to get this check cashed, said the young wife to the paying teller at the bank. Yes, but you must in- dorse it first, answered the teller. Why my husband sent it to me. He's away on business. Yes, madame, but just indorse it. Sign it on the back, please, and your husband will know we paid it to you. She went to the desk and soon came back with a self-satisfied smile, and handed the check to the teller, indorsed- Your loving wife, Edith. 4: af It Waiter: Milk or water? Customer: Don't tell me, please. Let me guess. - 119 His Honor: Get the prisoner's name so we can tell his mother. Rookie: He says his mother knows his name. wk :of wr Mother: Now, Willie, if you put this wedding cake under your pillow, what you dream will come true. Willie: Why can't I eat the cake, and put the pil- low over my stomach? 4: ak ar Porter: This train goes to Buffalo and points east. Old Lady: I want a train that gets to Syracuse and I don't care which way it points. wr wk an Graduate Cparting with emotionj: Professor, I am indebted to you for all I know. Professor: Dear boy! Don't mention such a trifle! ' lk BK ik The old gentleman beamed upon the little boy who stood on the crest of the hill one night at twilight, a happy, con- tented smile on his face. I am pleased to see you watching the beautiful red glow of the setting sun, my little man, he said. patting the young- ster's head. Do you watch it every night? The little lad chuckled. P Oh, no, sir, he said gleefully. That's not the sun setting. Tha't's our school burning down.

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THE GLADDEST WORDS OF TONGUE AND PEN ARE THESE -Coymos is Here ffgainf Grand Reopening OO On or about January 10, 1924 GIRLS MAY COME AND GIRLS MAY GO BUT COSMOS STAYS ON FOREVER PLEASE PATRONIZE OUR ADVERTISERS