Hunter College High School - Argus Yearbook (New York, NY)

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LAFF-0-LETTES- Some of our humor is good, some is original, and the rest consists merely of a series of wise cr ...... that is, intellectual crevices. wk ak 4: Before starting, it would be well to remind the reader that you can never hurt a smile by cracking it. Pk wk :sf Binks: That new in- fielder of ours reminds me of the ancient mariner. Jinks: How come? Binks: He Hstoppeth one of three. sf Pk :sf Facetious Passenger: Conductor, how often does your car kill a man? Conductor: Only once. ak Pk :sc Prof: Give the number of tons of coal shipped out of the United States in one year. Stude: 1492-none. wk wk :rf He and she arrived in the second half. He: The score is still nothing 'to nothing. She: Goody! We haven't missed a thing. Pk an :nf Be there e'er a soul so bright Who never to herself hath said, I shall not do my Math to-night, And calmly put herself to bed. Prof: Name three ar- ticles containing starch. Stude: Two cuffs and a collar. Pk Pk lk Do you know that professors don't get any more per hour than plumbers? ' I think a good profes- sor's worth it. Pk Dk lk For Those Taking Physics The deportment of the pupil varies inversely with the square of the distance from the teacher. lk Pk Pk The other day our typist left, and we tried to produce a few lines on the keys ourselves. Here is the result:- My tY pust si on her vacatoin, mY trpists' awau fpr a week, My typudt us in hwr vscarion Wgile thse famn keus play hude and seij. C joras Oy, breng boxk, bting bsck, Brng bejc mu b'Onnie ti my, ty mr, Bf8zng bSxj, b-6ng bicx Bjing bozk mQ behnio- o mx. 118 Gribbins: Are you sure I won't frighten the baby? Nurse: Dear me, no sir. I had him to the Zoo yesterday and he laffed like anythink. an as Pk If the clock in our gymnasium is one of those that goes eight days without winding, we just wonder how long it would go if it were wound. ak :af :K We read that there has been a shrinkage of street car passengers. That's what we call a fine example of nature adjust- ing herself to. circum- stances. an ik :sf So this applicant claims that he is a college graduate? asked the employer of his clerk. Has he anything to back up that claim? Can he qualify? The clerk stepped out and returned. The young man says that with your permis- sion, he will come in and give the college yell.', Dk lk lk Teacher: Those who have not done their home- work, report after school. Voice: Give me liberty or give me death. Teacher Qsharplyj : VVho said that? Voice Cagainj: Patrick Henry.

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EDITORIAL EDITORIAL COLUMN Editorial Staff Editor:-Sylvia Narins Associate Ed :-Sylvia N. Business Manager :--Miss Narins Circulating Manager :-S. Narins Advertising Manager :- Miss S. N. Office Boy Manager:- Sylvia Narins Waste-Basket Manager: -Syl. Pk HK ik Notice our editorial staff carefully and with care. Each member of it has been chosen for his or her position only after nation-wide search and he for shej is eminently fitted for the position be- cause he Qor shej has devoted himself for her- selfj exclusively to his for herj own department during all of his for herb lifetime. Ik lk Dk EDITORIAL O CHILDREN'S DEP'T. Gwan to Bed Stories And then Brer Rabbit, he upped and he said, said he,-he said, Well, he said, looking up at the sky. It may be a very nice day to-morrow, if it doesn't rain. Foxy Grandpa looked back at him in alarm. H u s h, he warned, shaking his old gray head, best not be saying them things around here. It ain't safe. Why Foxy, exclaimed Brer Rabbit, what language! Where's your grammar? She's dead answered Foxy gloomily An' so's my grandpa, both of 'em's dead. Then suddenly changing his tone, he cried. Well, well, look who's here! If it isn't our old friends, Ginger the Monkey, and Dainty. the Elephant. What brings you here so early. my little man? Cto Daintyl. The Elephant, however had no answering smile for his little joke. Bad news, he moaned, shak- in-gy from side to side. had news. Our King, the lion, has said that on account of the celebration of his wife's birthday, which comes on Saturday, the coming Saturday will last for two days. CBe sure to read the next installment and find out what happensj . 117 EDUCATIONAL fOr, Mistakes Which No Young Student Should M a k ej Wrong: There ain't none there. Correct: There ain't any there. -lol- Wrong: When does this period end anyhow? Correct: Cheer up. The bell is going to ring at any minute. O Wrong: I would of gone. Correct: I would have went. i Wrong: Oh, I want you should come. Correct: Oh, you must come over. liol-,T When Did This Happen, And Why? The introduction of the study of Latin into the High-School Curriculum? Answer: Think it over. ik lk Bk Question: If Caesar crossed the Delaware in 1492, and 'the first Egyp- tians were born in Sparta, how old was Nebucchad- nezzar's 14th wife at the time of Columbus' debate with Hayne? Answer: No matter how deep the blue sea may be, you can always break a window with a hammer.

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LAFF-O-LETTES-Continued VVomen's faults are many, Men have only two: Everything they say, and Everything they do. 4: 4- 4: The Modest Male She: What a pity it is that handsome men are so conceited. He: Not always, my dear. I am not. ar an 4: Ditto She: Did any of your family make a good mar- riage? He: Only my wife. as in nf The Honored System Regents, Regents, every- where With drops and drops of ink: But never a Prof. who'll leave the room And allow a man to think. wk wk 4: Magistrate: Did the prisoner offer any resist- ance? OFF1cer: Only half a dol- lar, yer honor, and I wouldn't take it. an wr wr I have a bad cold teacher. How'd you get it? Too much outside read- ing. just think of getting two ham sandwiches, soup, potato salad, and ice-cream for fifteen cents. Where's this? Nowheres, b u t j u s t think of it. P r i s o n e r fstuttering painfullyj: Tz-ez-tz-st-st. Magistrate: Dear, dear. What's he charged with, Constable? Constable: Sounds like soda water, yer Honor. wk wk wk He was a milkman with a sense of humor. Why are you so late with our milk ? asked an old lady. Well, you see, mum, he answered, the gov- ernment allows only 25,000 bacteria to a gallon and you'd be surprised how long it takes to count the little devils. an :sf ik I want to get this check cashed, said the young wife to the paying teller at the bank. Yes, but you must in- dorse it first, answered the teller. Why my husband sent it to me. He's away on business. Yes, madame, but just indorse it. Sign it on the back, please, and your husband will know we paid it to you. She went to the desk and soon came back with a self-satisfied smile, and handed the check to the teller, indorsed- Your loving wife, Edith. 4: af It Waiter: Milk or water? Customer: Don't tell me, please. Let me guess. - 119 His Honor: Get the prisoner's name so we can tell his mother. Rookie: He says his mother knows his name. wk :of wr Mother: Now, Willie, if you put this wedding cake under your pillow, what you dream will come true. Willie: Why can't I eat the cake, and put the pil- low over my stomach? 4: ak ar Porter: This train goes to Buffalo and points east. Old Lady: I want a train that gets to Syracuse and I don't care which way it points. wr wk an Graduate Cparting with emotionj: Professor, I am indebted to you for all I know. Professor: Dear boy! Don't mention such a trifle! ' lk BK ik The old gentleman beamed upon the little boy who stood on the crest of the hill one night at twilight, a happy, con- tented smile on his face. I am pleased to see you watching the beautiful red glow of the setting sun, my little man, he said. patting the young- ster's head. Do you watch it every night? The little lad chuckled. P Oh, no, sir, he said gleefully. That's not the sun setting. Tha't's our school burning down.