Hunter College High School - Argus Yearbook (New York, NY)

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MISCELLANEOUS COMMENT PUZZLE COLUMN VOlICE OF THE or PEOPLE One of the most potent TESTS FOR THE or reasons for establishing T EST Y ' THE CALL OF THE Prohibition, it seems to WILD us, was to furnish new material for the vaude- ville jokesmiths. lk Pk ak Some day a motion picture magazine will astound the film-loving public by announcing that some actress graduated to the rank of stardom does not greatly resemble Mary Pickford. Ik Ik Ik We were present, last week, at little cousin Arthur's birthday party, and we overheard a bit of conversation that vividly recalled our not-so-long- past childhood. Tommy, said Artie to one of his guests, what makes the new baby at your house cry so much ? Well, replied Tommy, it don't cry so very much -anyway, if all your teeth were out, and your hair off, and your legs so weak you couldn't stand on 'em, I -guess you'd feel like crying yourself. lk Ik HF A contemporary of ours fa famous columnist in one of New York's great dailiesj makes a remark which we think worthy of note. He naively won- ders why men can't get what they want by cry- ing. Psychological Test We are printing here a psychological test which has been most carefully prepared by the United Physicians League of Asia Minor and the Canary Islands, and presented by their able president, I. Finishem, M.D., A.B.C. If you cannot answer this simple question, there is something radically wrong with you-you may be half-witted, in fact,-and you should consult your physician immediately. Name of good physician supplied on request. Question: There were two Indians :-a big Indi- an and a little Indian. The little Indian was the son of the big Indian, but the big Indian was not the father of the little Indian. Who was the big Indian? The answer is printed at the bottom of this column, but do not look at it until you have tried to solve the problem unaided. Answer :-His Mother. 115 Dear Ed: I think it's outrageous, the number of holidays we are getting this term. Can't you do anything about it? l Ans: I will see the Janitor, and find out whether he will consent to keep the school open on these days or not. lk Pk lk Dear Ed: I have re- cently heard a rumor that Hunter was going to have a new building on Broad- way and 42nd Street. Is this true? Ans: We had thought of that, but we realized that it might block the traffic, so we are going to situate the new building- when it comes-some- wheres else. Dear Ed: Seeing as how I read that eating fish wuz good fer the brain, what kind of fish would you advise me to eat? Ans: Judging from your letter, you should eat a whale.

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LITERARY PAGE Stories. Poems and Riddles SHORT STORY CONTEST .ll QThe Shorter the Betterj This story is the one which Won first prize in the Humoresque Short Story Contest. It was the only one handed in. Look for the beautiful settings, the philosophy, the character study, and the realism in the story. Yes, look for them. just try to find them. Dk Pk Pk It is a cold, frosty night on the border between Siberia and the Congo. All that is visible in the drear landscape is a tiny, rude hut, entirely isolated from mankind. It is a typical rough Russian hut, and the furnishings are as bare as they can be. In it are seated, left to right: -Maran Maranovitch, the old grandfather, Chosol Chosolovitch, the mother, I-Iobo Hobonov- itch, the thriftless son, and Cochran Cochranov- itch, the father. The father, plunged in deep gloom, is seated pensively on the red-hot stove, the mother is fearfully peer- ing through the open door, but can see no signs of the wolves, who are howling at the back door, the son is comfortably seated on the top-most slope of the inclined slope of the Baby Grand read- ing last year's copy of College Humor, which has just arrived, while the grandfather, old and toothless, on the floor, is engaged in alternately mumbling the words of a popular son,g and chew- ing caramels, while he tightly grips between his toothless gums the old faithful herring which he is smoking. All four chairs are empty. Suddenly the silence is broken by the sharp ring- ing of the door-bell. The son slides down from the piano, the father jumps off the hot stove, the grandfather kneels to pray, while the mother flies to gain the seat on the red-hot stove before the father may return to it. An aged messenger boy, with a long, flowing white beard, enters, and puts a piece of yellow paper on the table. Sign on the dotted line, he whispers, breath- lessly. God, but I'm hungry. And the curtain comes down with a roll. 1.14 THIS IS POETRY Gray, fleeting, mists ..... Dark, heavy, clouds ..... Oppression on eve ry side .................... Dull .... overhanging .... Impenetrable .......... A sudden gleam ...... Which grows ..... And grows. .... . And then ...... Is light ......... The answer to .... The question. .... . Has arrived ......... af an an REGENTS SO IS THIS I saw a lark V In yonder park, The night was dark- Hark, Hark! Hark Hark! wk wk af TRY THIS WITH YOUR PIANO My Bonnie leaned over the gas tank, The depth of its contents l to see, He lighted a match to- assist him, Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me. CChorusj Repeat ,.

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MISCELLANEOUS ADVERTISEMENTS Advts. fTheatrica1j LOST AND FOUND Personals If the party who stole the tire from 432 E. 397th St., will call this after- noon, from 3 to 6, he will receive the live blowout patches that go with it. It's that kind of a tire. B. R. I am writing this in the hope that my dear son, Johnny, who ran away from home last week, will read it. I want to say that since he left, the house is so much quieter that I wish he would stay where he is. His loving mother, Mrs. D. :ze as an Exchange: An old, rather worn copy of Virgil, with some pages of Book Six missing, for a few numbers of the Columbia Jester. See S.C.N. :sf :sf Pk JUST AS A REMINDER Physics courses oft re- mind us We can help if we but try, And in passing, leave be- hind. us Note-books for the other gui'- ' ONE KISS One kiss w-on't be enough to reward the giver for that dainty, but useful Christmas gift of a cute little Nillys-Wight Sedan. Appropriate for e v e r y member of the family. :sf :uf 1: A,ren't We All - Glad to receive gifts from the best shop in town? That's why we'll all be so happy to see our gifts stamped fl-Ianemakersj fThe Sign of Qualityj. PF Pk wx: Sharlee - You'll want to go to the Four Corners for the very best in clothing. For everybody from Junior to Grandpa. It's the Kollege Kut.-Pogers, Reet Sz Co. as an x NOTE From carefully com- piled statistics, it has been computed that if Christmas gifts were given according to the advice of advertisements, this is what you would find in your stocking on Xmas morning. l Willys Knight Auto- mobile. ' Big Ben Alarm Clock Plum Pudding Wardrobe Trunk Suit Kollege Kut Klothes. fad inf.j 116 1 1 l l Lost: A French poodle, very expensive, a genuine descendant of the line of Cerberus. Reward: 10,000 rubles. Lost: A genuine Rus- sian sable fur piece, in a Self-Service Restaurant. Return to the waitress. Lost: A gym shoe by a Freshman with a long tongue. vs :sf vs Lost: One permanent wave at Hunter's last football game. Return to K. W. Half- Left-B ack on Team. af ak :sf Lost: One Russian mark. Return to Mon- sieur Ferraro. Bk Bk Bk FINANCIAL COLUMN The other day, an old lady lost a purse contain- ing all her money, about 3870, which she had just taken from the bank, in the subway. 'The next morning, it was returned to her home. Editor's Note: This is the mistake of the printer. VVe realize this should be ,a Bed Time Story.