Hunter College High School - Argus Yearbook (New York, NY)

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LITERARY PAGE Stories. Poems and Riddles SHORT STORY CONTEST .ll QThe Shorter the Betterj This story is the one which Won first prize in the Humoresque Short Story Contest. It was the only one handed in. Look for the beautiful settings, the philosophy, the character study, and the realism in the story. Yes, look for them. just try to find them. Dk Pk Pk It is a cold, frosty night on the border between Siberia and the Congo. All that is visible in the drear landscape is a tiny, rude hut, entirely isolated from mankind. It is a typical rough Russian hut, and the furnishings are as bare as they can be. In it are seated, left to right: -Maran Maranovitch, the old grandfather, Chosol Chosolovitch, the mother, I-Iobo Hobonov- itch, the thriftless son, and Cochran Cochranov- itch, the father. The father, plunged in deep gloom, is seated pensively on the red-hot stove, the mother is fearfully peer- ing through the open door, but can see no signs of the wolves, who are howling at the back door, the son is comfortably seated on the top-most slope of the inclined slope of the Baby Grand read- ing last year's copy of College Humor, which has just arrived, while the grandfather, old and toothless, on the floor, is engaged in alternately mumbling the words of a popular son,g and chew- ing caramels, while he tightly grips between his toothless gums the old faithful herring which he is smoking. All four chairs are empty. Suddenly the silence is broken by the sharp ring- ing of the door-bell. The son slides down from the piano, the father jumps off the hot stove, the grandfather kneels to pray, while the mother flies to gain the seat on the red-hot stove before the father may return to it. An aged messenger boy, with a long, flowing white beard, enters, and puts a piece of yellow paper on the table. Sign on the dotted line, he whispers, breath- lessly. God, but I'm hungry. And the curtain comes down with a roll. 1.14 THIS IS POETRY Gray, fleeting, mists ..... Dark, heavy, clouds ..... Oppression on eve ry side .................... Dull .... overhanging .... Impenetrable .......... A sudden gleam ...... Which grows ..... And grows. .... . And then ...... Is light ......... The answer to .... The question. .... . Has arrived ......... af an an REGENTS SO IS THIS I saw a lark V In yonder park, The night was dark- Hark, Hark! Hark Hark! wk wk af TRY THIS WITH YOUR PIANO My Bonnie leaned over the gas tank, The depth of its contents l to see, He lighted a match to- assist him, Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me. CChorusj Repeat ,.

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ATHLETICS Foot-ball One of the biggest events of the season's athletics was Hunter's foot-ball game with Hale for was it Yarvard?j University. When the huge crowd, filling the seats of the immense stadium, had arrived, Hunter raised its banners. When the crowd saw the glorious heliotrope and white fluttering under the stars, they were thrilled as they had never been thrilled before, as they tenderly thought of what those colors had always stood for,-victory! As the Hunter eleven came marching daintily down to the field in their lavender bloomers and white silk jerseys, a mighty cheer arose from the throats of the multi- tude ........ a cheer that shook the rafters of the gigantic stadium. Then one could see the discour- agement of the Yarvard team, but they finally plucked up spirit and de- cided to lose like sports. The game was a thrill- ing one. The highest statistics have it that 4,786,013 straw hats were crushed in the wild excite- ment. Hunter swamped the Hale team with thirty- eight touch-downs, two sideward passes, and six home runs. The score was overwhelming, being 96-12, favor Hunter. The jubilant Hunter team was carried off the Held on the shoulders of their excited faculty. They were shouting their uni- versally popular cheer. When do we eat? We want lunch! When do we eat? We want lunch! As the last dim echoes of the cheers died out, there remained to view only a deserted field, lonely and silent under the red glow of the set- ting sun Qor was it the stars before?j. ak ar 1: CLIMAX O:F 'THE SEASON The big climax of 'the season, which all the school a W a i t e d with breathless interest for months, and which proved fully as thrilling as it had been expected to be, was the game of Prisoner's Base, between Hunter and the University of Colorado. Both teams had been selected after innumer- able try-outs from the cream of the school. 113 It was indeed a life- and-death struggle. We cannot give you the score, because the score-keeper became so excited that he lost track of the points. I However, that is of but little moment, since who but Hunter could win? Ik Bk lk CASUALTIES OF THE ISEASON il Hunter has been ex- tremely fortunate this sea- son 1n the number of its casual-ties. The following is a list of the dead: ,I. M. Gone , I. Hev Gone Twms I. Shall Nott Return M. Dedd M. Kilt I. Kant Kumback I. Must Kumover I. Shallnott Pass I. I. fincluding 42 other mem- bers of the famous I fraternity who have not yet been identifiedj. The seriously injured are as follows: C. Columbus Q. Elizabeth M. Standish K. Solomon J. Alden P. Stuyvesant The Rover Boys etc. Nobody has suffered any slight injuries.

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MISCELLANEOUS COMMENT PUZZLE COLUMN VOlICE OF THE or PEOPLE One of the most potent TESTS FOR THE or reasons for establishing T EST Y ' THE CALL OF THE Prohibition, it seems to WILD us, was to furnish new material for the vaude- ville jokesmiths. lk Pk ak Some day a motion picture magazine will astound the film-loving public by announcing that some actress graduated to the rank of stardom does not greatly resemble Mary Pickford. Ik Ik Ik We were present, last week, at little cousin Arthur's birthday party, and we overheard a bit of conversation that vividly recalled our not-so-long- past childhood. Tommy, said Artie to one of his guests, what makes the new baby at your house cry so much ? Well, replied Tommy, it don't cry so very much -anyway, if all your teeth were out, and your hair off, and your legs so weak you couldn't stand on 'em, I -guess you'd feel like crying yourself. lk Ik HF A contemporary of ours fa famous columnist in one of New York's great dailiesj makes a remark which we think worthy of note. He naively won- ders why men can't get what they want by cry- ing. Psychological Test We are printing here a psychological test which has been most carefully prepared by the United Physicians League of Asia Minor and the Canary Islands, and presented by their able president, I. Finishem, M.D., A.B.C. If you cannot answer this simple question, there is something radically wrong with you-you may be half-witted, in fact,-and you should consult your physician immediately. Name of good physician supplied on request. Question: There were two Indians :-a big Indi- an and a little Indian. The little Indian was the son of the big Indian, but the big Indian was not the father of the little Indian. Who was the big Indian? The answer is printed at the bottom of this column, but do not look at it until you have tried to solve the problem unaided. Answer :-His Mother. 115 Dear Ed: I think it's outrageous, the number of holidays we are getting this term. Can't you do anything about it? l Ans: I will see the Janitor, and find out whether he will consent to keep the school open on these days or not. lk Pk lk Dear Ed: I have re- cently heard a rumor that Hunter was going to have a new building on Broad- way and 42nd Street. Is this true? Ans: We had thought of that, but we realized that it might block the traffic, so we are going to situate the new building- when it comes-some- wheres else. Dear Ed: Seeing as how I read that eating fish wuz good fer the brain, what kind of fish would you advise me to eat? Ans: Judging from your letter, you should eat a whale.