Humboldt County High School - Winnada Yearbook (Winnemucca, NV)

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SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY IN THE Year of Our Lord 2000 A. D. One early fall day while wandering through the rugged hills of Northern Humboldt County, I lost my way. And, not knowing whi- ther to turn my footsteps, bethought myself of seeking shelter for the night. After tramping for some time, and climbing to a great altitude, I at last reached the summit of a high peak. Gazing down into the can- yon, I discerned the curl of smoke rising from the base of huge cliff. “This,” thought I, “must be my refuge for the night.” Accordingly, I descended into the gathering dusk, arriving at the point where the smoke issued from the face of the cliff. Standing at the entrance of a cave, I gazed upon a sight so weired and fanciful as to be beyond the power of any devotee of the Black Art to conjure up in the mind. There beside a dying fire sat an ancient denizen of the desert. At the sound of my entrance his reverie seemed broken. As if my intru- sion had led his thoughts to sudden speech he spoke, and I listened, spell-bound. “Twas long ago, away back in '24, when my classmates left forever the portals of Humboldt county Hi to glean a broader knowledge of life through the rocky paths of experience. Sadly did we part, each to his destmy, pre-determined by the Fates. Little did they realize what Life had in store for them. “However, our common interests still serving as a connecting link, I have been able to keep a chronicle through the years that have passed, of the varied fortune of my beloved classmates. My records of- the entire class extended to the year 1944. From that time on their ways divurged to such an extent that a complete chronicle was im- possible. “At that time my dear friend, Elmer Lyon, died at the hands of a rebel bandit, upon his successful reorganization of the Mexican govern- ment, and I betook myself to these lonely hills, astounded and stricken to the heart at the base ingratitude of a heartless world. So I shall quote to you the last passages of my never-to-be-completed manuscript. ‘“Thursday, April 1, 1944. Madame Sutton, perfecter of the fam- ous Sutton Radio Reducer, has just returned after installing her re- ducer in the sanctuary of Sheik Hubbard’s harem. “The Sheik is reported to have just returned from a raid on Bad- Man Bankofier, bandit of the far east, notorious ruler in the mountains of Afghanistan. This bold tyrant carried off Geraldinio Harverinio, Hubbard’s world-famed snake dancer. “‘Friday, April 13. The divorce courts of Paris are contesting vigorously for the case of Madame Germaine, nee Pearce, vs. Josephus Germaine, famous style creator and ladies’ modieste of the French capi- tal. Count Legarza, who recently inherited a vast estate at Monte Carlo, is named as the affinity.

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“ It is rumored that Monsieur Germaine will retain as his attorney Miss Elsie Summerfield, a noted suffragette leader and president of the American Bar Association. ‘“July4. Jose Organ, financier of the Organolia Chain of grocery stores throughout the United States, presided at a barbecue given to the members of the United Ash Can Association. This barbecue, which was given on the White House lawn, was the largest assemblage of human beings since the time of Coxey’s army. “‘One of the prominent speakers of the day was Secretary of State Defenbaugh, a prominent figure in recent politics because of his opposi- tion to a bill introduced into the House by Senator Hurtado from Ne- vada, which places a tax on families numbering over seven. (Defen- baugh is known to be the proud father of three sets of triplets, and the recent arrival of a set of twins is probably the cause of his vigorous protest.) ‘“August. Dr. H. Lee-Wade Brady, eminent physician and surgeon celebrated his thirty-eighth birthday by performing a successful major operation on the cerebellum of Senor Echave, illustrious tango dancer of Ziegfield Follies, who found it impossible to make his legs reach from the hips to the ground. Due to his sad mishap, Echave will doubtless be unable to perform with his usual grace in the future. “‘ November. Mrs. M. Legarza, better known as Louisville Lou, while marching beside her husband, a hero of the second World War, in an Armistice Day parade, stumbled over an inverted crack in the pa- vement, and sprained her ankle. However, according to hearsay, the foot was protected with insurance of $10,000 on account of being judg- ed the most beautiful in contour and symmetry. “The accident occurred just opposite a soap box orator, Laetitiea Blue-Law Brown, known as a second Billy Sunday, interrupting her discussion of “The Bad Effects of French Heels on Middle-Aged Ped- estrians.’” Here the tale ended. As I gazed about me I was amazed and hor- rified to find the walls adorned with empty Chesterfield cigarette car- tons. My attention was again centered upon the grotesque figure. With breath coming fast it gasped, “My task is finished. I go now to join my classmates.” As these last words were uttered, he fell to the floor. After bury- ing him next morning at the mouth of his lonely cave, my thoughts re- verted to the chronicle he bad so strangely recorded. I found it lying where it had fallen from his lifeless grasp. On the last page of the strange story, at the end, was Written: ‘Recorded by Frederick Easton Benjamin Meyers.’ With this valuable manuscript under my arm, I sought out a way of escaping from the place of death, and left the phantom scene. “At last,” thought I, “authentic history of the Twentieth Century, can now be placed on the market.” E. LYON and E. BROWN.