Houtzdale High School - Jack O Lantern Yearbook (Houtzdale, PA)

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C g a THE JACK o' LANTERN What woiild you do if-' ' Frank Durkee didn't study. ' James Rodgers was tall. e Kenneth.Saupp was short. Dorothy Pidgeon wasn't writing poetry. Velma Lobb wasn't abusing Dave Hiller. Prof. Silliman didn't give exams. . Gretchen Hiller didn't tell you what she thought of you. Marcella Chaplin and Melissa Newcomer got to school on time. The Seniors could keep quiet. A . Charles Zeigler would quit stealing penecils. Hazel Pearson would stop asking questions. i The Freshies would grow up. Thomas Quinn's hair wasn't red. Prof. Howe would sto' calling us Miss and Mr. Eleanor Lobb didn't chew gum. Catherine Boulton wasn't flirting. 'Rose Marie Hagan wasn't in a hurry. There wern't any non--citizens. r Helen Gallagher walked to school. ' Bud Matthews wouldn't meet Beatrice Peck in the hall. There wasn't any school. 4. ' H. H. S. Lorraine: I think Prof. Howe is a niceman. Mother: I don't know him from a load of coal. Lorraine: You ought to he's a different color. Earl and Helen Gallagher are going to be married. I thought Helen was one of these modern girls that don't believe in marriage. so did Earl. ' - . I. H. H. s. . . . .Prof. Howe, Cin Chemistry Classj : Do you know all about the Cal- ifornia Gold Rush in the eighties? - ' Hazel Pearson: Oh, yes, Prof. it was at the Opera House Saturday night with Charlie Chaplin. c H. H.. s. C The small boy's head bobbed up over the garden wall and a meek little voice said, 'fP1ease, Mrs. Briggs, may I have my arrow? Yes, dear, she said. Where did it fall? Where is t?i. I think said the resitating reply, its in your cat. '167l y ff a .. J '. '. . . , K . . 'Q ' 1 -, . . . KN.. ,. ', s.A . ' -1 1-1 : ,..S' MST gm 1 .F A-T' gh .'.-W 'fl Q N' A . ,,...L..s.ar ' -' ' . 1 ' Y 3 SJ

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h THEJACK O' LANTERN Lady Cto farmerhz May I use your pen? . Farmer fto Ladyj : Don't know, mam, you'll have to ask the pigs! Lady: Sir, I'm a lady. ' Farmer: Salright mam, They won't mind. H. H. S. . He: I wish I had a nickle for every girl I've kissed. She: What would you' do? Buy yourself a package of gum? H. H. S. Ben, I'll give you S10 to have your picture taken in the cage with that lion. i No, Suh, not me. He won t hurt you: he hasn't any teeth. . Mebbe so, but I aint going to be gummedto death, by no old lion. H. H. S. Number, please, snapped the telephone operator. Aw, nix, kid, expostulated the ex-convict in the booth. I been out for three months. H. H. S.. Wife: I need a new dress. Hubby: What became of the last o'ne you had? Wife: A moth ate it. H. H. S. Paul T: Why is a young man, an old man and a worm alike? Norman G: I don't know. - Paul: Well, beause a chicken gets them all. Miss Weber: Everyone close your books except the one you have open. H. H. S. What are you going to name your baby brother? Bobby, after grandmother's hair. H. H. S. S Dot S: If I had an apple and you had a bite, what would you do f Catherine Q: I guess I would eat it. . Dot S: I wouldn't, I would scratch it. . H. H. S. . Miss Weber: Correct the verb in this sentence, The toast was drank in silence. ' H'elen Z: The toast was ate in silence. ' H. H. S. George M: Mother the new parson left his umbrella again. I think be would leave his head if it wasn't fastened on. Mrs. Mills: I believe he would. Justyesterday he told me he was going to Switzerland for his lungs. ' H. H. S. . Mistress: If you make that mistake again I will get another maid. Maid: Thank you, mum, I'll be glad. There is enough work here for two maids anyway. H. H. S. . i . Judge to prospective juryman: So you've formed an opinion of the case. . ' - ' ' P. J.: Yes, your honor,, one look at that convinced me he was guilty - Judge: Heavens, man, that's the Prosecuting Attorney. ..66,.-. ' ffl . '15-Q' 2 JZ ' V Y - Y. . :': A ' ,filf . Q: ,'k'!T'7,'. .k, .Fw '-LA f 'NV' , 'l 1 5, . .e f-fiigagl-:11? li':ivg.w vi - . 5' ru. 33.5, ,.A,,. ,p . 5 :1.a'.fn1 ' 12' I .- . 59? 'ea A ,. wg f ,.1Ej,fj'.':-r-.: 1e'. '- M at - 2-5.3 sy - - ' ,ia jvr , 'f -,r gm I, 1 f -L , I T-,jj up f, gp.: .ig.::Q1f3.sg,i?V w'i w V.-. , .., '.:.'5 :','- if 12' ' - 7 -,: 5-..' -- ,

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F'- . - E THE JACK o' LANTERN- N f . Advice to the Lovelom. Dear Aunt Heppy: . , A- f I am a young girl 96 years of age. I am deeply in love 'Withtafourig ' man 15 years old who has just started to school. He is very handsqrriegfi He s bald headed, has false teeth and ra wooden leg. He tookfmy' grandi- mother home from a dance last night. I am 'broken hearted.. I What'q can I do about it? ,fy I fp Heartbrokcn.f'Trixy.f ' t ' Answer-- Q - H 'Dear Trixy: a i . A I . You are very young to consider going with the boys. Do not Judge the young man too quickly. I would advisehyou to wait until you are a little older and then consider it. A up Aunt Heppy. . 5 ...Dear Aunt Heppy: ' .X A 1 iii h .I am anxious to know whether I am beautiful or not as I a A ' n in my bare feet. I weigh 432, pounds in my bathing suit. I hav p Q In I' red hair and my nose ,matches it. My mouth is 5 inches wide good looking? , f uf? to Join the Atlantic.Cty eBauty Pagent this yeara I am 10'feet 1 . - V Anxious, Little Eva. . !,gfj',ff yi - Answer- A I V,ni V if Dear Little Eva: ' il jf: f W ' My dear girl, good looking is not the word yo1i,ai:e'bQeau,tifi1l. But I Would. advise you before entering the contest to bleach ygifr nose be- cause you might, ei tlkcn for a lobster. There 'js no 'dou f about you winning the contest if the judges are blind. I . H Q , ' A tAunt I-Ieppyg - A H. H. S. ' DearAuntHeppy: ' I I am an younghman and ani considered very good looking, but I am not popular with the girls . When-I take a 'girl out to dinner my teeth fall in the soup, this makes a great splash. If I am near an electric fan my hair 1'emoves'itse'lf. Please tellme how I can overcome these obstacles. ' I - Worried, Young Bachelor, , -A . ' ' Answer-- P - , A' ' Dear Bachy: , A H i ' - ' s I I' would advise you to purchase a tub of royal glue, which can be purchased at the 5 and 10 cent store. And why not try swallowingiyour teeth when the soup comes. If you try these remedies no doubt you will have many proposals. ' - A A 4 Q A - - ' I ' ' AuntHeppy. ' ie- . -68.- I Y , A 5 'GCE , I . 1 Ac. Y ' . . , . . v 1 5 -if ' -X . -X , ' -g Y . f Q. Lua? 3, 7-59 -. Y-j5'.5' ' - 1 115121, s-.g:?':? ff - T.- 'Y ' ' - Wi Lil.: ' , V iz 1 ' ' ' iff 1 ' 'f - I -l.: 3 ef ' , ' ,. 1 3 '35-Q . - '- T , -' f- QL. . . - F 5 ' A .uf V . . 4-.J A . R -r.J.-..-..'il.1u..4. , . A 'U' ' ' F' ' -1 -. ' . ..t.,. , -A