House in the Pines High School - Log Yearbook (Norton, MA)

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In the meantime Miss Downey and Mrs. Mangu rushed out of the Chemistry lab to see what had happened. Upon catching sight of Ursula, Mrs. Mangum promptly sat down and began to drswl for Mr. Mangum, while Miss Downey patted a few hairs on her upsweep back into place and began a discourse on the philosophy of two- headed monsters in general, and this one in particular. She was interrupted suddenly as Miss Wright dashed up from the music room and flew over to Urshie with the frantic inquiry, 'Can you act?' When Ursula dumbly shook her head, Miss Wright chewed her glasses and walked off muttering, 'To produce or not to produce, that is the quest1on.' There followed a moment of silence quickly broken by Miss Earle who stuck her head out of a window, pointed to Ursula, and yelled to her suffering history students-'That's a two-headed monster! Get that k1ds?' That was too much for Ursula. She du ped Miss Shriver off into the arms of Miss Johndroe who just arrived puffing and shouting for someone to catch Ursula and disect her, and ran down the path to the studio. Miss Oberti caught a glimpse of her through the window and dashed to the door, the ends of her bowtie flying in the breeze, with the delighted exclamation, 'Surrea11st1c art readyh made! sn f Miss Nancy, who had heard the commotion slipped up behind Ursula, and calmly began to bind her with ace-bandages. This was the last straw. Ursula flopped down and began to cry. Mrs. Gerrish than hurried over to comfort her, a spelling book in one hand, and a copy of 'The Reader's Digest' in the other. Close behind her came Miss Coyle who ask d, with a gleam in her eye, if Ursula could take devotions and stand on both feet the next morning. Ursula shook her head in answer to this question, but she calmed down a little. Miss Mc Masters, thinking perhaps the poor thing didn't understand English, walked over to Urshie and let loose a torrent of Spanish in her ear. This outburst so scared Ursula that she ju ped up and ran off again. While Miss Mac, disgusted with anyone who couldn't understand Spanish, stalked away in the other direction.

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It all began one day when unlucky Ursula came meandering down into Norton after escaping off a stray nightmare. She was a cute kid, this Ursula, but unfortunately she was in the neighbor- hood of ten feet tall, and possessed two heads, eo naturally she shocked people. This, gave her a terrific inferiority complex. The first person Ursula saw was Miss Cleveland, who was practicing her putting on the athletic field. Miss Cleveland saw Ursula at the same time but mistook her for Hedges because of her great size, and let a ball fly straight for her. Ursula caught the ball, and, being slightly confused as to what to do with it, she decided to eat Lt. Now Miss Cleveland might be afraid of horses, but that was the only ball she hadn't lost, and she didn't intend to see anyone make a meal of lt. Golf club swinging, she started after Ursula. This started Ursula's inferiority complex going full force, and she became so panic-stricken that she took a running leap and landed hard on the roof of Hedges, which was the only thing big enough to offer her shelter. Now Hedges had taken a lot in its day, but that was too much, and the roof promptly caved in, dumping Urshie right in the lap of Miss Sparhawk, who didn't turn a hair but grabbed two bed posts, thrust them in Ursula's hands, and cried 'kn1t'! Since only one of Ursula's two heads knew how to knit, this was impossible, and Ursh rushed howling from Hedges, only to bu p into Miss Shriver was was astrlde Red Robin. Robin prunptly shied, sending Nusa Shriver so far into the blue that she landed on Ursula's neck. Too dazed to know where she was, Miss Shriver followed her natural instincts, and, feel1Il8 90m9 FhiD8 594579611 hu' UWB: she clamped hard and yelled 'Gidd-yap'. Her voice was only a whisper of its usual self but Miss Johndroe, who was in Attleborough gently persuading'yisiting deans to allow H.I.T.P. girls to attend their colleges, heard it and realized at once that something was wrong, so she jumped into the Buick and raced home. The car, per usual, broke down half-way, but Miss Johndroe, nothing daunted, dog trotted the rest of the way, mentally reflecting how such a trot would affect her digestive system.

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Ursula went fast, but not far, for she soon bumped into Mrs Case who surveyed her with a serious air and said, with a sweet smile, 'You know, with ssl those two heads, you really ought to buy two copies of the year book They're only six dollars apiece andwe'reTmving glossy paper and a cellophane pro tector and At that point Miss Mastin, who was walking with Mrs Case, lost track of the various advantages of the year book, for she caught sight CC of Ursula and turned a beautiful shade of pea green, remarking to herself, td jx 'The seniors must have put something in my coke at the party last night Further conversation between the three was halted by the appearance of Liss Wiley who dragged Ursula off saying that all school packages, no matter what size, must be delivered to the office, however, when Miss Plum er saw the I apparition Miss Wiley was bringing in, she put her foot down I don't know what it is,' she snapped, 'But it looks C O D , and it is definitely over ten dollars It stays out !W Qkv so vehement was she that she startled Ursula into stepping back, with t result that the poor girl slipped and rolled all the way down the stairs and took up most of the floor, but Chambie d1dn't blink an eyelash Don't let it get you down,n she said, Nanything can be corrected, as long as you don't eat between meals Now follow me, one, two one, two By the second two' Ursula had clambered over reducers and somersaulted into the radio room only by the Clee Club in full force Mrs Archer said you ' before she had completely turned around, the bodies of the 'frosphate' to find herself confronted 'Open your mouth wide when then she saw Urshie and stopped with a gasp say , she said enthusiastically, after a moment of silence, 'you're just what I want with those two heads, you can watch Sleg and the music at the same time Tell me, do you harmonize with yourse1f?' Before Ursula could say anything, there was a commotion in the general direction of her feet which were still in the dining room Everyone rushed out just in time to see Mrs Ying picking herself up from the floor, amid a shower of glasses from the tray she had been carrying Who put that log in the middle of the flooro she muttered dazedly Then, catching sight of Urshie 'If you're a new girl, you might just as well realize that in the dining room only one of those heads can leave the table at a time ' Lrsula pave a low moan and escaped through the French windows She ran a little way, but she was so tired and sick Qmiss Cleve1and's ball hBdH't agreed with her at alll that she ducked into Hedges to rest a while No sooner had she stuck her head in one of the class rooms than Miss Daly greeted her with 'Hello sit down on thosfslx chairs over there I think I can find enough typewriters to accommodate you although I'll probably need one for each finger ' She surveyed Urshie with a Nmine not to tmestion why, mine but to do or die' sort of expression, and added gently, When we have speed tests, I'll have to blindfold one set of eyes, you know, so you won't be able to see both the Paper and the keys Ursula turned around and stalked out, never to darken the doorstep of Norton again She kept right on going until she caught up with her night mare, hopped on, and trotted off with both heads discussing vigorously the Strauss faculty of House in the Pines SX-ueXe.ut Owen V 'wa' than Finn QGTJAQRX, ' '-W that . 1 IW, , . ,Zn I V. ' 1 'n Mp X.: u GQ. No Z , ' La ' L I , Whig? Q he Q into the dining room where Miss Chamberlain was holding reducing class. Ursh 'dc L 4 . ' K e ' ' on I I O , --' . N0 H J , O . I X ' n A ' v D , O A , , ' 1 N - I!