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Page 20 text:
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Class Will I. Carole Barrick will my drum major suits to Boh Cowan. I, Mary Lou Bauer will my bleached bangs to AI Har meson. I. Skip Biedenkopf will my ability to drive to all the lovely maidens in the U. S. I, Dick Bridges will my ability to dance to Roy Watkins. I. Norma Brown will my ability to get along with Mr. Allen to Bill Weltv. I. Phyllis Carder will my long finger nails to Janice Pinnick. I. Helen Casner will my naturally curly hair to Ida Comstock. I, Ken Collins will my ability to play basketball to Larry Davis. I. Hul»ert Cooksey will my ability to get along with girls to Jim Warner. I, Joyce Curry will my ability to make wise cracks to Mary Anna Fowler. I. Donna Evans will my womanly charms to Anita Bell I, Mary Ford will my ability to get snowbound with school hooks to Joan Shoemaker. I. Elmer Foster will my ability to fast dance to I-arry Powley. I. Harriet Foster will some of my height to Jo Anne Boren. I Betty Franklin will my ability to get along with Mr. Hoover. 1. Donna Johnson Garner will part of my height to Jo Anne Boren. I. Carol (ioodrum will my ability to go steady to Beverly Manning. I. Judy Goodwine will my 97 jxmnds to Bob Peers. I, Shirley Gossett will Lenora Welch my ability to dance. I. Jo Green will my position as honor society president to A1 Harmeson. I, Marilyn Hagie will Evelyn Maxfield my quiet- ness. I. Janice Healv will my sax api»eal to Karen Martin. I. Pat Hix will all my air force men to Beverly Smock. I. Judy Holmes will my ability to get along well and be joliy to all of the teachers to Sue Murray. I. Pat Holt will my black hair to Judy Cram. I. Frank Hoskins will Buddy Hoskins my ability to pick up good looking girls. I. Bill James will my 115 pounds to Bob Cowan. I. Jerry Kiml erlin will my ability to chew gum in Mr. Allen’s library and get away with it to Ozzic Hammond. 1, Betty Landrey will my ability to always be ready on time to Arlene Bush. I. Patsy Law will my ability to get along with Danny Silver to Madge Gress. I, Shirley Lockhart will my silly laughs and book- keeping to Zula Eaton. I. Don Merritt will my smartness in History to anyone who needs it. I. Jim Merritt will my ability to get along with Mr. Baird to anyone who can’t. I. Barbara Miller will my ability to drive any old car to Jalub. I. Bonnie Morgcson will my natural curly hair to Carol Metz. I. Merle Murphy will my excess weight to any underclassmen who can use it. I. Janet McYicker will my one and only freckle to Ronnie Sprague. I. Fred Nelson will my shortness to Bill Glover. I. Donna Reece will my ability to beat Miss Win- land at Ping Pong to anyone that wants to try it. I, Shirley Sanders will my car to my three com- panions Betty. Bonita, and Nancy. Take care of it I. Norma Shaw will my quietness in Home Ec. to Shirley Hopkins. I. Bill Silver will my line to the girls to Jim Warner. 1. I )anny Silver will my ability to get along with Madge Gress to Joe Koonce. I. F’rcd Si ville will my politeness to those that aren’t. 1. Chuck Sollars will my ability to get into trouble in Shop to Eddie Snively. I. Ruth Siville will my ability to go steady three years to Janice Pinnick. I. Sarah Taylor will my ability to play the trom- bone to Mary Lou. I. Ellen Thomas will my loud voice in cheering to Arlene Bush. I. Phyllis Thompson will my driving ability to Freedy Franklin. I. Sandra Cmbanhowar will my bleached hangs to Betsy Welty. I. Betty Wagoner will senior aide captain to Joyce Curry. I. Betty Warner will Betty Gatrell the length of my hair. I. Max Watkins will my short black hair to Jerry I )avis. I. Mal el White will my quietness to Madge Gress. I. Alvin Wilson will my 108 pounds to Bob Cowan. I. June Wilson will my late hours to Bojas. I. Bob Wilson will my ability to hypnotize the women to Maurice and Bob. I. Dorcas Winterstecn will my four different colors of hair to Gloria Reynolds and Red Potts. I. Bob Wustholz will my good looks to Miss Florey. 16
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Page 19 text:
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Pet Peeves Carole Barrick — unfriendly hoys Marv Lou Bauer — ell Harmeson and his silly questions Skip Biedenkopf — sarcastic people Dick Bridges — drinking Norma Brown — English IV class Phyllis Carder — Shirley Bailey Helen Casner — moody people Ken Collins — the oncry girl that pesters me in Psychology class Hubert Cooksey — not being able to drink coffee in shop class Joyce Curry — people Donna Evans — other girls Mary Ford — people saying “O, Lord” Elmer Foster — girls Harriet Foster — Ted Betty Franklin — boys Carol (ioodrum — people who can’t keep still while others are talking Judy Goodwinc — people always telling me how short I am Shirley Gossett — people who can't take a hint or a joke Jo Green — Consumer Ed. Class Marilyn Hagie — for people to poke me in the ribs and then laugh Janice Mealy — people that hare dirty hair lack Hertel — reckless drivers Pat Hix — people who think they're smart but really aren't Judy Holmes — people who call me “Holmescy Pat Holt — Buster Frank Hoskins — all girls Hill James — Mr. Allen’s way of grading true-false questions Donna Johnson — . single people, I’d rather sec married people Paul Johnson — for people to hit me in the face Jerry Kimberlin — rv't being able to “breathe” in Mr. Allen’s library Betty Landrey — for boys in cars to honk at me Patsy Law — doing dishes Shirley Lockhart — people who lie Don Merritt — spending money Jim Merritt — people who brag Barbara Miller — people who lie Bonnie Morgeson — people that kid me a lot Merle Murphy — agreeable people Janet McVicker — people that are two-faced Fred Nelson — getting up in the middle of the night to go to school Donna Reese — girls or boys who show off to get attention Shirley Sanders — conceited boys Norma Shaw — 5th. hour World Problems Bill Silvers — silly senior girls I )anny Silvers — Boy crazy girls Fred Siville — Freshmen that act like grade school students Ruth Siville — hillbilly music Chuck Sollars — Mr. Allen’s way of combing his hair Dick Swope — Chuck Sollars Sarah Taylor — girls calling each other kid Ellen Thomas — poetry in English Phyllis Thompson — people who are conceited Sandra I Imbanhowar — salespersons who call me “Honey” Betty Wagoner — girls who smoke Betty Warner — ladies who wear big hats to the show Max Watkins — that I zoon’t get to know Mr. Whitehouse’s middle name until the day I graduate Mable White — people who think they’re smart Alvin Wilson — girls who show off to get attention June Wilson — people who can’t tell the truth Bob Wilson — girls zoho chew tobacco Dorcas Wintersteen — a killjoy Bob Wustholz — zoomen
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Page 21 text:
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EDITED BY “SAWED-OFF” UMBANHOWAR AND “LONGLEGS ’ GOODWINE HOMELY EDITION VOL. - O NO. 1 Alumni N002? 1 PAGE 2 - SCENTS WINS SAFE DRIVING AWARD OF YEAR - U.S. PRESIDENT SPEAKS NEWS IN BRIEF London. En . JANET “Muscles’ Mc- VICKER swims rhe English ('haunel again. Boston, I . S. Authoress. RUTH SI VILLE has ju t published her newest and deepest Imok “10 Feet Under.” New York BOH WILSON was elect- ed president of the W.C.T.U. (Woman’s Christian Temperance Union) by over- whelming majority. Washington—f(PU) Congress Woman BARBARA MILLER, put in her resigna- tion today after the inauguration of Pres. “Moose.” Onarga Mil. — SHIRLEY GOSSETT, has accepted a position as 1 . E. teacher here. Chicago See PAT HIX in Shadley We'ls Ballet Production. Timhuctu-Rocket ship to Pluto, designed bv NORMA BROWN left today. Stew- ardesses are PHYLLIS CARDER and NORMA SHAW. Dcr.ver.See MABLE “The Cat WHITE, lady wrestler, on T. V. tonight. Channel 11. THEATRE NOTICES See GERALD KIM BERLIN in big stage production of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” !• RANK HOSKINS, great drama critic says He does a stirring performance as Goldilocks.” Songwriting team. JIM “Cheetah” MER- RITT. and BETTY WAGONER, have just finished the musical hroadwav hit. I Was a Child Bubble-dancer. Starring now at the Princess Theater is famous movie actress SARAH TAYLOR. She does old Katherine Hepburn roles. Rally she does!” Starting today Krollicking Sea Nymps starring BILLY JAMES as head toe-dancer. His costumes made of filthy pink net were designed bv the lady of fashion” C AROLYN MILLER. NEWS — SHORTS You now can take your own picture. Get the new camera designed bv MERLE MURPHEY. CAROL GOODRUM and PHYLLIS THOMPSON have secured (daces on the Woman’s U. S. Olympic track team. Bonnie Morgeson. the gay divorcee, has just returned from Reno. She secured a divorce from basketball star. FRED NELSON, last week. BE SAFE BUY INSURANCE Boli Daniels, insurance salesman, says, “I insure everything from ameohas to zombies. Special rates for corpses.” Special rates for corpses.” THOUGHT for the DAY DORCAS WINTERSTEEN says that Confuscious says. “ . . . . Oh. I forgot mthat he did say. FRED Moose” SI VILLE. our new president, is the Abe Lincoln” of the Modern Age.” He writes his bills for Con- gress on a shovel. Under his direction the White House is being rebuilt to resent ble a long cabin. His words to Congress uerc. “I shore am glad to lie presydent, yep. I shore am.” CROSS COUNTRY RACE BEGINS Sjionsors of Class of ’52, MISS M. FLOREY and MR. G. ALLEN, have just lefr New York on a cross-country jiogo stick race. The results will lie announced on their arrival in San FYancisco. ALUMNI MAKE GOOD PATSY LAW has become a robust Met- ropolitan Opera Star. Her hubby SKIP- abi.-BIEDENKOPF is a big radio star taking the place of Hobble-along-Cassidy. He does well but is handicapped because lie blew off his hand in a chemistry ex- l eriment in 52. DANNY SILVER, former brilliant hijjh school student, is now teaching differential calculus at Princeton. Gorgeous DICK” BRIDGES is a fain- oun wrestler. Attention ladies! - - • before entering the ring he uses ’Tweed perfume. Get some today. DONNA REESE is a dancer and torch singer in a night club in Paris. ELLEN THOMAS has furthered her ca- reer in baseball. She is now bat girl for the New York Yankees. HELEN CASNER has replaced Mr. Whitehouse teaching Consumer Ed. her favorite subject. HUBERT COOKSEY is a stand-in for Burt Lancaster. BETTY WARNER i a new ballad sing- er. replacing Susan Reed. She is mar- ri -«I to Burl Ives and they’re raising blue tail flies. Tubby UMBANHOWAR and “Tex GOODWINE can be heard every Saturday night on the Barn Dance. They sing songs straight from the hills (too bad they didn't •ta there!) SICK NOTICES for the WEEK CAROLE BARRICK. former majorette, is striken with occupational disease. Her arm just won’t stop swinging around. Pondview Hospital. Room 3Vi• MARY FORD has gone insane making so many paper flowers. MAX WATKINS, better known as “Silent Max. still hasn’t spoken a word for 15 years. JANICE HEALY. Scrubwoman in a big department store, passed out yesterday, report her boss DICK “Simon Legree” SWOPE, lattice said “I just felt all washed out. Hoopeston (PU) JACK HERTEL, prominent citizen, was presented with the Safe Driver’s award of the year today. May 31, 1972. His comments were. “Never driver over 40 m.p.h., I haven’t had l wreck in my life. NOBEL PRIZE AWARDED KENNETH “Einstein” COLLINS was awarded the Noltel Prize for discovering the 6 i dimension. WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS BETTY FRANKLIN, famous lady bull- fighter, has returned to Hoopeston from Sunny Spain to marry big movie producer, BOB WUSTHOLZ. SHIRLEY LEE LOCKHART, ex-con- vict. married DONALD LEROY MER- RITT. former criminal lawyer Sunday, June 5. 1972 HUNTERS RETURN ALVIN and JUNE WILSON, big game hunters, have just returned from a Safari to deepest Africa led by their faithful native guide “Fearless ELMER” FOSTER. ADVERTISEMENTS Bring vour mending to me. Crocheting done also, ( all 730-Z. BILL SILVER. BE GRACEFUL. BE ( HARMING Trv HARRIET FOSTER’S School of Charm. Feeling all mired down?? Try CHUCK SOLLAR’S mud tar baths. TOM BELL, famous designer of ladie.s hats, has just come out with a new crea- tion The Thing,” only ‘ 8c, ladies. Learn to trip the light fantastic at BUSTER’S School of Dance. Everything from the Charleston to Ballet. Meet hi lovely assistant. PATTY HOLT. Any obi bodies hanging around? Try HOLMES and I). JOHNSON Garner Morticians Motto . . . “Drop around some time. We’re feeling mighty low.” Talk with departed loved ones. Sec BETTY L A N l R E Y. as Madame Zouzou.” Seances conducted cverv night. Get Rich Fast! Come to the poker chip gambling casino. Las Vegas. Co-owners . . SHIRLEY SANDERS. M. HAG IE! HAMSTERS FOR SALE Visit big Hamster farm, contact D. EVANS or M. L. BAUER — owners. FOR SALE - CHEAP Empire State Building, in good condi- tion. Easy payments 50c down ami 25c a day. 200 years to pay. Call “Honest JO” GREEN at 111. State Penitentiary, Cell No. 2040(»099. .WEATHER REPORT .... fair and rainy today, a little warmer with increas- ing coolness. Weather-woman. JOYCE CURRY. 17
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