Hononegah High School - Mack Yearbook (Rockton, IL)

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More Lern-Nothing SPEECH ................. ......... . . PROFESSOR ALFRED WARD We are proud to add Professor Ward to our faculty. He is the ori- ginator of 'fl don't know , the widest used phrase in classroom dis- cussion today. It is estimated by Norma Bates in Who's Who, Why, and How I Know It that this phrase is used thirty billion times in our nation's classrooms each and every year. When asked how he came to deliver this gem of elcquence, Prof . Ward replied, I don't know! SCIENCE OF FUNNY NOISES .............. PROFESSOR WETZEL Professor Wetzel has his Foo degree and is said to have too much cartilage in his nose. Prof Wetzel guarantees that if you take his course you will be able to electrify the study hall with the same type of nasal whistle and roars that he has been exhibiting for the past four vears. A marvelous opportun'tv for underclassmen. SLEEPOLOGY ........ POSITION VACANT DUE T0 THE RESIGNA- TION OF PROF. ANDERSON MUSIC CVOCAL ONLYJ .................. PROFESSOR CARRIKER This course is accompanied by several programs by a showerroom quartette composed of Gus Georgw. Cliff Chamberlain. Dummy Dix and Duke Reimer. It is our hope and intention to give those courage- ous souls who take this course an idea of the punishment an athlete must take. MUSIC fSPECIALl ......................... PROFESSOR BARNES This class, also dealing with vozal music, is for boys only. DEBATE .................... . ............... PROFESSOR LANE This class is open for Juniors only. Its purpose is to prepare pupils to argue with Miss Larson. ART Q ......................-....-.......... PROFESSOR WILSON We have discovered talent among the students to draw astonishing likenesses of their beloved teachers. However, most of these works of art are without perspective, and wa have concluded that a course 1.1. art is necessary. The course includes: Art 146-Lessons in proper perspective. Art 192-A demonstrative study of how not to get caught. Art 226--Methods of distribution and display. DRIVING COURSE ...................... . ....... MISS BALLARD A special course financed by Hunter Federation of Undertakers. PHYSICAL EDUCATION .................. COACH HOLCOMB AND MISS McCULLOUGH A All physical education students will be required to read two text- books durin' the coursed They are Conserving Your Energy by Warren Ellis and How to Keep From Going Stale by Bill Krahn. Nllarks received in gymnastics are not always where you can show t em. 21A

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Strict Discipline .ENTRANCE REQUIREMENTS 1.- Must be in the upper one third or his class in number of ninth hours obtained or else present evidence showing that this was avoided only by cleverness of the applicant. Anyone not meeting this require- ment may attend classes at Lern-Nothing College only once a week. 2. Applicants must be subject to spring fever and circusitis . 3. Applicants must know how to crawl in the windows without dis- turbing the dean. 4. Sixty hours swimming in Coon Creek. INSTRUCTIONS FOR REGISTRATION Please sign your names on the wrong side of the paper and state how much you are not able to pay for tuition and why you did not want to come to school. Put down the subjects you do not want to take but know you will because the family does not want you to study them. SPECIAL RULES AND- REGULATIONS 1. No school on Monday mornings. This gives the teachers an op- portunity to sleep off the disastrous effects of the weekend. f 2. Every student will have a birthday party in school on his birth- day. Students will be limited to one birthday a month. fNote: This also applies to teachersj 3. Gum must be chewed in every class. It will be furnished from the supply obtained by fines at H. C. H. S. 4. Every student must be prepared to entertain ,the study hall once a week. DORMITORY RULES 1. Lights out at 2 A. M. every morning except Sunday morning. 2. All girls are requested to dust their rooms and make their beds at least once a month. lSince Lern-Nothing College girls are noted for their cleanliness, we feel that there is little necessity for the above men- tioned rule.D 3. All boys are requested to buy ties which will look well on their room-mates . COURSES OF STUDY PIG LATIN .... .... . . ............................ MISS GEORGE The Pig-Latin Course covers a wide range of subjects. In this course the student is allowed to dabble in Bookkeeping axrd Geom- etry, two very similar subjects. SLANG ..................................... PROFESSOR HAUGE Prof Hauge will be assisted in this course by Professor Ellis who will conduct a course treating in detail the various facial expres- sions and fluctuations of the voice necessary to get the most intense feeling in his famous examination Blast ! If time permits, twg ad- ditional phrases, Gyp! and I been robbed ! will be treated in the same manner. 21

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Lern-Nothing More EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES AFFAIRS-OF-THE-HEART CLUB This club is intended as a sort of clinic to which young people who have a strange inward sensation when the spring of the year rolls 21I'01lDd may Z0 f01' advice. Miss Dolores Devine, who has achieved an enviable reputation in this field, will be in charge of a very able I group of experts, Miss Ruth Reynolds will express the feminine viewpoint and Bob Morris the masculine. Miss Betty Dion, the only member of the staff who can claim to have won her man and hung on to him, will also offer her services. Negotiations are under way to persuade Prof. Donald Vincent to conduct a course in letter writing. Students who have taken this course recommend it very highly. Mr. Bob Bennett declares, I had given up all hope until I joined the Affairs-of-the Heart Club. GIGGLERS' CLUB ..................... SPONSOR-HELEN BLACK Bor SCOUTING Led by Jean Wilcox and Mary Jo Osborneg this club is for girls who intend to do a little scouting around . GLEE CLUB This organization is open to anyone who can stand it. . DEGREES AND AWARDS FOO DEGREE The Foo degree is awarded to all graduates of Lern-Nothing Col- lege. We guarantee that if you present this degree to a prospective employer you will be well cared for and given attention by the state's best physicians until the time of your dismissal. B. C. E. DEGREE fBACHELOR OF COLLOQUIAL EXPRESSIONSJ Awarded to students showing greatest improvement during Slang Course. M , D. DEGREE fDOCTOR OF MUSHJ Awarded to students showing the most skill in the art of letter writing. LANE MEMORIAL TROPHY Donated by Professor Lane to be presented to any graduate of his debate class who can return to Hononegah and win an argument with Miss Larson. NORREGAARD ART SCHOLARSHIP Fund of eighteen cents, three tubes of lipstick, and one slightly used knife set aside to help in the education of pupils who carve the best murals in the walls of the halls of Lern-Nothing. 218