Holland High School - Boomerang Yearbook (Holland, MI)

Page 31 text:

H. H. s. THE Boom ERANG 1925 i,. ...Wi i it it ini in .ni nn i..imt.-ii:i,i.t 1 in iiiiiwiw ini i i- ,, ,,, ,,,, .,,, ,,, ,,,,,, .iiin,i,m.vm..i,.i,i..n.i iiiwnin ti., .1 i. nu. . i i mi i , Marie Kleis: I'm certainly at loss to know what to give my brother for his birthday. , Marj.: 'XVhy don't you give him money? Marie: Oh, it mnsn't cost as much as that. Youre rather a young man to be left in charge of a drug shop, said the fuzzy old gentleman. Have you a diploma. VVhy-er no, sir. replied Carl, but we have a preparation of our own that's just as good. A group of high-school girls had a chance to visit an observatory. The as- tronomer was very kind, answering all their questions. Esther Brink was puz- zled and said: But, as it never has been proved that all the stars are inhabited, how do the astronomers ever find out their names? Porter: How would you like to sleep, head first or feet first? jim McCarthy: If it's all the same to you, I'll sleep all at the same time. Dope: XVhat am you doin' now? Bing: I'se an exporter. Dope: An exporter? Bing: Yep, the Pullman Company itst tired me. I told Clyde that he was not giving enough attention to the classics. re- marked the conscientious Mr. Coster. I reproached him for not knowing the difierence between the Iliad and the Odvssevf' Was he properly apologetic? Not at all. He asked me if I knew the diinference between crystal receptivity and a neutrodynef' Chesty Kole: XVhat's that awful noise outside? Country Host: VVhy, that's an owl. Chesty: I know it's an 'owl. But 'oos 'owlingf' Jim Hoeksema had decided to become a sa esman. Your predecessor, said his new em- ployer, has got his business all tangled up and I expect you'll have a hard time getting order out of chaos. I don't know who chaos is, said Jim. but I bet I'1l get an order out of himkif I have to hang onto him for a wee '. Mipss I-Ieekje: Peter, what is a vac- uum. Peter Kolean: A vacuum? VVell-er, I have it in my head but I can't explain it. Miss Ross: You sold me a car about two weeks ago. Salesman: How do you like it? Miss Ross: I want you to tell me everything you said about that car over again. I'm getting discouraged. Bing Miller tto entire strangerjz Sure- ly I've met you before. Stranger: NVhen? Bing: Didn't we meet in Quebec? Stranger: Never been there. Bing: Funny: neither have I. Must have been two other men. Edison. with all his inventions is not to be compared with the ambitious young photographer who advertised: Your baby, if you have one, can be en- larged, tinted, and framed for 38.79 Visitor: Mrs. Du Mez, your daught- er is improving in her playing. Marjorie: I'm not playing. I'm just dusting the piano. Q- XVho cares whether Helen of Troy was a blonde or not? The reason she is famous is because she was the first wo- man to get her gowns from Paris. ' George Essenburgh tbrowsing in the libraryl: The Last Days of Pompeii - What did he die of? Glen: Oh, I dunno, some sort of eruptions. Class Books Freshmen: Gullivers' Travels by Swift. CEs- pecially recommended for ambitious childrenl. Sophomores: How Soon May I Become a Senior. By A. Teacher. Juniors: Love's Young Dream. tNuff saidi. Seniors: Ecclesiastical History of England, by Bede. tDry but valuablel. But this picture makes me look so much older, objected Marion Brunner. That's the beauty of it,'! said the photographer. Ten years from now it will be an even better likeness of you than it is todday. Maybe potatoes have specs because their eyes are bad. The janitor was making desultory passes at a large globe when Mr. Riem- ersma came in. At least, said the latter not unkind- ly, dust off the Pacific Ocean. The only thing worse than what is is what isn't.

Page 30 text:

H.H.S. THE BOOMERANG 1923 If your name here you spy Don't cry. Good jokes are rare- Take care. If your name is left out Don't sit there and poutg ,Iust put on a grin Then soon you'll be in! Eva Tysse. A CLASSIC ESSAY Essay on Frogs .-X. Student XVhat a wonderful bird the frog are! XX'hen he stand, he sit, almost. NVhen he hop he fly, almost. He ain't got no scnse, hardly. I-Ie ain't got no tail, hardly, either. VVhen he sit he sit on what he ain't got, almost. Bill Vande Wfaterz Well, there is one man that King George has to take his hat off to. ,Iohn Telling: I don't believe it. Bill: How about his barber? She had a vast amount of money, but it had come to her quite recently. One day an acquaintance asked her if she was fond of art. Fond of art! she exclaimed, VVell. I should say I was! If I am ever in a city where there's an artery, I never fail to visit it. Ted. spell cloth, said Miss VVickes. Ted was silent. Come, come. said Miss Wickes, im- atiently, You know the word. What is your coat made of? Fathers old pants, he replied. Say, mister, said Elmer Kuiper to the grocer, don't you want a boy to help get business for you? f'NVhat can you do? the grocer in- quired. UI can stand out in front and eat candy and peanuts. and when the other kids see me they'll want some so bad they'll come in and buy. The other day a policeman stopped Marion Bazaan, driving on Eighth Street, and told her to report at nine o'clock the next morning. The very ideal Why? she exclaimed. I'm sorryf' insisted the policeman, but you were going forty miles an hour. h Impossiblel exclaimed Marion un- dignantly, VVhy, I haven't been out an hour yet. Conductor: I've been on this train seven years. I Brute: That so? Where did you get on? 5 W'e will Miss Rogers lin biologyl: now name some of the lower species of animals starting with Andries Steketee. Gerald Bolhuis to drug clerk: Gimme a yellow tabletf' Clerk: VVhat kinda tablet? Gerald: UA yellow onefl Clerk: But what's the matter with you? Gerald: I want to write a letter. IVhatever trouble Adam had, No man in days of yore Could say when he had told a joke, I'ye heard that one before. VVritten in the Physics class by Ger- rit Gerritson: Mazda darling, be mine, Incandescent One! XVatts life without you. Ohm is not ohm without the light of your presence. My heart is a trans- former that steps up at every sight of you: I would insulate my head alongside your switch: the Contact of your hands is like a live wire. Marry me, and let's have a little meter in our home. Mr. McBride: I guess my girl in high school has changed her mind about basket-ball. She is evidently going in for something more useful. Friend: How so? Mr. McBride: Now she says that she has made the scrub team. Congressman: VVant a job, eh? VVhat can you do? Dean Martin: Nothingf' Sorry, but those high Congressman: salaried Jobs are all taken long ago. They were discussing the doings of Cecil Van Duren, who had made his fortune in New York. Do you, said one, Think Cecil's money will last him long. You bet it won't! said the other. He's going at an awful pace. Why, I was down at the store the other night and he was writing hundred dollar checks and lighting his cigarette with them. Alvin: You haven't any brains. Gerald: No brains? Why, man, I got brains that ain't never been used.

Page 32 text:

H.H.S. THE BOOMERANG 1925 , ,,,,AA,,l, ,,,,A,,,,AA, , .A ,,,,,, , ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,, ,,,, , , , , , , , , I Mae Eloise: Do you know the dif- ference between a presiding officer and a vaudeville dancer? Dorothy Stroop: Can't say I do. Mae Eloise: One entertains motions and the other's motions entertain. Water IVater is a substance largely liquid in composition and is the habitat of germs, molecules and fish. It is found to a large extent in rain, milk and most milkmen, and bathtubs. It constitutes practically the only obstacle to the construction of a fine road between New York and Lon- don. It's use is largely exterior, being favored for the washing of clothes, auto- mobiles and faces. It has, however, be- come the favorite national drink of the United States. VVater is the principal cause of Hoods, navies. and raincoats and is largely responsible for the formation of ice. In conjunction with soap it is regarded by many authorities as an ex- cellent cure for Bolshevism. Mrs. VValvoord: XYilhelmina, is the clock running? Billy: No. It's just standing still and wagging its tail. The judge observed: You seem to have committed a grave assault on the complainant just because he differed from you in opinion. There was no help for it, your hon- or, said Clarence Knowles. The man is a perfect idiot. IWell you must pay S10 and costs and in the future try to remember that idiots are human beings just the same as you and me. Grocer: Eggs hit rock bottom, mad- am, last week. Mrs. Reimersma: Then that accounts for many you sent me crackedf, From a recent Junior High examina- tion: XVho was Frances W'illiard? One pupil wrote, He is a famous prize hghterf' Another: She was the first to intro- duce women's sufferings. Archilles was dippd into the river Styx to make him normal. Pompeii was destroyed by an erup- tion of saliva from the Vatican. In 1620 the Pilgrims crossed the ocean and this is known as Pilgrinfs Progress. Vacuum is nothing with the air sucked out of it. Algebraical symbols are used when you don't know anything about it. Geometry teaches us how to bisect angels. Mary, Mary, quite contrary Independence wished to proclaim. She stepped on the gas- There followed a crash! And now she leans on a cane. Going to school. Jack Horner XVent kitty corner, tHaving jumped too late out of be-dj He was thrown on his head And now he is dead. Take Look out! Safety First' as a motto! This thing is getting contagious, said 'Red' Verhey, who had been told several times to go to bed. XVhat do you mean P asked his father. I mean that I will catch it if I don't move on. Myra: A'Sport is indispensable to health. Evelyn: 'AOur grandfathers didn't go in for it. Myra: No, and they are all dead! Inspector: Any abnormal children in your classes? Miss Anthony: Yes, two of them have good manners. Xfy favorite joke: . YOU. XYithout consulting any of the author- ities on etiquette, we will answer the question VVhen is the proper time for a man to lift his hat? At the following times and on the following occasions, re- spectively, the hat should be removed or lifted, as circumstances indicate: when mopping the brow: when taking a bath: when eatingg when going to bed: when taking up a collection: when having the hair cutg when being shampooedg and when standing on the head. Nervous musician, Ray Steketee: I- er-I just called round, madam, to tell you that your cat-er-kept us awake last night with his serenade I am a musician myself and a human man, and I-er- don't wish to suggest that the animal be destroyed, but I thought it would help if you could have it-er-tuned. The lesson bored Paul Dykstra until Miss Rogers began: If you smoke you will have tobacco heart. if you drink coffee you will have a coffee heart- Paul's hand went up quickly. Miss Rogers: Well, Paul. Paul: If I eat candy will I have a sweet heart?