Hiram College - Spider Web Yearbook (Hiram, OH)

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“SINGLES vs. DOUBLES. ft OR “ THE STUDENT AND MARRIAGES A Symposium. BY ’97 AUTHORS. Ye fair married dames, who so often deplore That a lover once blest is a lover no more, Attend to my counsel, nor blush to be taught That prudence ought never to let you get caught. The bloom of your cheek, and the glance of your eye, Your roses and lilies may make the boys sigh; But roses and lilies and sighs pass away, And their love will die as your beauties decay. Comes the man that’s once wed, no more with guitar, Beneath lofty window which music doth jar; How softly and sweetly from delicate touch, Not handled too roughly nor played over much. Not from two to five by the watch’s own hands, But with vast changeful heart he comes at command. He no more perches ' round with very sweet skill, But escorts you home as all benedicts will. Whatever of blisses in such scenes as this, Your wedded life Mrs., it never will Miss. Can a student keep the grace of a dove, And will Hymen rivet the fetters of love? 18

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With titles old or new, We know she’s staunch and true. If graceful honors she may wear, For names her children little care, Nor take offense. She sits like Nature’s queen, To rule this goodly scene; Wdiile mind with thought she fills, As pure as snow that drifts her hills In winter time. Observed on every side, Her light she may not hide, For Nature ' s laws she’s called to bound With rev’rent care, and show what’s found In every clime. Between the scoffer’s rant And bigot ' s idle cant, The line of truth is hers to scan, To show “the ways of God to man, And faith restore. Still for some good she’ll seek, In Latm and in Greek. These noble tongues she’ll not desert, Till reason strong shall her convert From classic lore. On her may fortune smile; Her name no blot defile. May long and vigorous life be hers, The fame that honest worth confers, Her rightful meed. May heaven ' s holy page, For all, in youth and age, Its richest, highest blessings bring, O’er all a crown, a glory fling, Our greatest need. 17

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The advantages which a married student has over hi s unmarried brother are legion. When the bell for rising rings long before day¬ light in the morning, the unmarried student does not have to obey its summons instantly or else lose his breakfast. He can have his meals when he wants them, and can eat what he desires, cooked by the best cook in the world, so that he runs no risk of dyspepsia. He is not obliged to make daily pilgrimages to the hall, nor to spend anxious moments at the post-office, and so he can devote more time to his work. He is not continually dreading that he will be jilted for some other fellow, but sleeps soundly at nights,—another thing conducive to study. All fears of leap year, too, have forever fled. He has his own home, where he may always invite his friends; he never lacks the best of company. He has the honor, and that no small one, of being the baby’s papa; and, lastly, he may at some time be admitted to the faculty,—that august body within whose ranks unmarried men are never counted. “When in single blessedness you live ’Tis folly to live double.” It is best also not to venture too near the terrible abyss, which once entered can never be left. If young people would never perch, much of the so-called “matrimonial bliss” would be avoided; girls would go to school as well as boys. There would be no growing apart from each other, as there would be, if the husband had thoughts he could not share with his wife, and no sadness and disappointment in after life as the inevi¬ table result. Better go to school as a girl, growing strong mentally, morally, and physically, and have written on your tombstone, “Here lies Jenny Jones; age, 94; In single blessedness she lived, and in the same did die,” than be a woman worn, tired, and behind the times at twenty-five, all for a man. What fun you miss in the halls, O married woman, during the years that never return! The pillow fights, all the fun and frolic that take away that tired look, after you have been dig- 19