Hillside High School - Epoch Yearbook (Hillside, NJ)

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LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF 1926 fr, E, the class of 1926, possessing on the whole a per- L 1 L' 7' fectlv sound mind and the ability to read and write by-,PS do hereby w1ll and bequeath all our worldly posses 3 J ' .1 1 - 1 INV X if , v L X - sions including real estate, stocks, insurance policies, mortgage loans and old sneaks. To the class of 1927 we will our political abilities, our good standing with the Hillside Police Force and the slightly pinned up but carefully rolled green and white streamers used for Senior Prom. They may be used again with careful handling-we suggest sterilized rubber gloves for the person of delicate taste. To the faculty we bequeath all our blotters and joseph Subpoena Policastro's mislaid gym towel to be used to evaporate the tears which it is customary to shed upon our sad departure. To the freshmen we will a new Columbia harmonica with the understanding that they use it to the best advantage to become popular, so that they may no longer be termed those green little freshmen. Q Home, Sweet Home is not so very ditficultj To NValter Krumbeigle we bequeath Evelyn Sterner's antique green sweater guaranteed not to rip, ravel, or run down at the heel-this he is to wear on all important occasions, including music lessons and boxing matches. To Lillian Patton, future editor of the Guide Post, we affectionately give all the pencil stubs and nibbled erasers which may be found around the premises of Margaret Wehrfritz. To Jane lNillmot and Woolsey Haetle, we hold up as an example of gentle ways of speaking, Albert Bell. To Betty Harvey we bequeath a little of Madge Tunison's non-vampishness with the hope that Betty will not be afflicted with cross eyes. To Virginia Joyce we leave all stray scraps of stretchable elastic for her to use at her own discretion. To the sprouting vampires of the underclasses we leave Esther Middleton's ardorous duties of bringing into the limelight of social circles, the juvenal indoor sheiks. What of more importance can we leave the future Seniors than Macaulay's Essay on Johnson, the valuable parts of which have been neatly underlined by the industrious QU of '26. We will Spike VVi1liams' array of tardy marks to any undergraduate who can uphold the standard which Spike has attained. This is quite a desirable position, taking into considera- tion that one is always sure of forty winks during detention period. Our 1926 sign we will to Mr. Sandford. tHe will find it among the debris on top of the cloak ro-om.l This piece of art he may either frame or donate to the Volunteers of America. To the poor unfortunates of next year, we will two,dozen pairs of fur lined pajamas to be worn in case of another coal strike. To the Board of Education we will 5131.05 toward a fund for new auditorium chairs with solid backs in order that the future slaves of learning may not be burdened with round shoulders. To the S. G. A. we also will 31.05 for barbed wire for fencing off the baseball field and 31.05 for bayonets for ticket men. VVe hope that these improvements will end the haranguing phrase where's yer ticket ? so that we may gaze upon the ball game in peace. CC'ontinu,ed on Page forty-onej

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teacher you are deserving of commendation. Your evident affec- tion for those little east-siders wins our admiration. A whistle blew. Brakes were jammed. Squeaks were heard, and then, Don't you know what that whistle means ? The unfortunate whose emergency refused to work mumbled, sputtered and blushed. The policeman turned away but not before we recognized him. Howdy, Captain Steinholtzf' A lady with the sweetest face one could wish to gaze upon, stood talking to a small boy. The boy seemed rather puzzled and unable to comprehend the lady's statements. Finally with an exasperated motion the lady began to explain her statements over again. The boy mumbled, I don't understand. The lady gave up in disgust. We don't blame you Eve. Anyone who can't see why right angles are equal is dumb. A tall thin lady with gray hair loomed in sight. Grouped around her were seven children who proved to be her very own. When we inquired her name, she blushed, stammered and finally ejaculated: It-It's Sophie. Airy fairy Lillian! True and yet untrue. Your excess weight proves that your boyish form has taken flight but ah, Lill, don't worry. Your better half loves you, anyway. A word to the wise is sufficient. See Jack Burt. A serious face with troubled eyes and pensive mouth. Ah damsel, why grievest thou? Art thou weary or do your feet hurt? Cappy! I wouldn't have believed it. An old maid like you to attempt to Charleston. Follow in the footsteps of your reformed sister. She hints that the Salvation Army needs a few more volunteers. Madame, can I be of any assistance to you' Yes, for goodness sake hurry! I have a dinner engage- ment and the condition of my hair is deplorable. Give me a sheik bob, hurry! After that we'd better rest. Madge of the blue eyes and beautiful golden hair. The only female woman left, has joined the ranks and made this an era for better and bigger bobs. For thee, dear one, I'd leave home. The dear one glanced contemptuously at the speaker and con- tinued to read. Her book must have been absorbing for she didn't even look up. The afflicted person spoke again. Dear one, what are you reading F Goodness, inquisitive, I'm reading how tomatoes can be best baked. And with a snap the book closed. Dot Utter had f learned her lesson. Never fool with a tomato 'cause you're apt to be squashed. An adorable ink spot adorned the tip of her nose. Her desk was strewn with papers. A cat purred at her feet and the pen of inspiration moved quickly. The great Margaret Wehrfritz sighed and laid down her pen. Her wonderful novel on Rheu- matism and Similar Ailments was completed. An immense automobile was racing up the road. A liveried chauffeur drove it. In the back a man sat smoking a cigaret. He looked out of the window and from behind an attractive Van Dyke, we recognized Spencer Williams. Prosperous from the beginning his immense wealth placed him on the market as a most desirable bachelorg but feminine charms held no lure for him. His large police dog, Mike, was the only one who occupied any major place in his thoughts. A large assembly room filled with students. Every one of them was intently listening to the well-chosen words of an im- pressive speaker. We looked at the speaker. It was no other. It was Tom Woodfield. Mischievous Tom, who had, through diligent study and hard work, become principal of a large high school. Mr. Wukitsch, your mail. The pretty stenographer laid it upon the desk and walked away. Mr. Wukitsch, older than when we knew him but otherwise unchanged, spoke a crisp Thank you and picked it up. As president of the Consolidated Steel Company of America he gains our respect. And then a heavy puff, puff and the one whom time cannot hush, runs in-late, of course. Because of her throaty ways Klinker Klein has become a part of the Metropolitan Opera Com- pany. She has deserted meat balls in favor of fried chicken, and when stage duty no longer calls, she scribbles away on her Cook Book. There are many little Klinkers puffing around, and a charming bald, fat husband frelated to King Colej watches them puff-and lets the chicken burn. Helen is very happy! Again the curtain was drawn. Our glances into the future were over. The pals and comrades whose characters had been so queerly depicted had vanished. All was dark. Nothing was left but faded memories. Yet, those memories will remain forever, treasured as something worth having. HELEN KLEI N, Prophet.

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f. qw- -Iv- iTHE CLASS HISTORY-1926 rg? ,N HE upper class men pointed meaningly and giggled like eighth graders, as we stood before them-on that first ,. V 33,4 September morning in 1922. But even this didn't daunt us. ltffvja' ,. We were determined not to look green, no matter what else Lffxi we did, for that had been the characteristic of every Fresh- man class and we were different. So the boys smoothed their patent leather haircombs and looked blaseg while the girls straight- ened their sashes and wondered if their shoes squeaked. But after that first dreadful break into high school society, we progressed rapidly. With the girls under the direction of Miss McKeever and the boys under the amazing grip Cask Byron Hallj of Mr. Morton, we were organized as the Class of '26. At Hallowe'en a play was given, a very successful play, even though Miss Stevens did have only three days in which to coach it. - The second function was a Freshman party, held in Ye Gym Ballroom which has since become a famous rendezvous for dance lovers. Then came a Freshman Play. A corking affair Cask any alumnusj. Dave MacNeil slept through the lead, and Madge skipped gracefully in, as any fairy should. She bestowed some very nice dreams on him and made the hero happy. By-the-way, Madge took lessons from a corre- spondence school and is willing to lend the letters that made her famous, to anybody who cares to become an actress. ,lune came all too soon, and like good young Freshmen, we followed the precedent by singing, No more pencils, etc. fyou know the restj, as we filed none too rapidly down the High School staircase. The following September we came back a bit more sophisticated, and, if I dare say it, a trifie more accomplished. It was our turn to point and giggle at what we termed cradle escapersf' This year we were placed under the care of Mr. Cox Cpoor man? and with much noise and revelry we made our new home! On March fifteenth we held a Sophomore Dance, and our hopes were realized, for it was voted a success by even the mostcritieal. The decora- tions were green and gold, in keeping with St. Patr1ck's Day. ln the Junior Year, we made great progress. A welcome was ex- tended to the Freshmen in the form of a rip-roaring, get-together tea party Cthe tea was made conspicuous by its absencej. This event oc- curred early in October. Our second class dance was held on October thirtieth, and another point was scored for 1926's high rating. The gym was transformed into a black and gold fairyland and high revelry was held until the hour for departure. On March twenty-first, a reunion of the grammar school graduation class of 1922 was held. It was a novel idea and we witnessed some sur- prising shocks when we saw the change in some of our former class- rriateg, and heard of the heart throbs and misses in their diiierent walks o 1 e. June arrived again! And as we left .school for our summer vacation, we prayed fervently for September to arrive, the sooner the better, for we were to launch on a brilliant and entirely new and happy career. By far the most notable and successful year was the lfourth. We prepared to embark upon a sea of scholastic and social activities which were to prove themselves not only instructive but enjoyable. The nrst matter which confronted us as we found ourselves back for another year was the question of rings and pins. After several weeks of careful consideration we selected one which pleased C?J the fastidious tastes of everyone. And when the emblems arrived! The might have been diamonds set in platinum-we were so proud to wear tliiem. As October drew to a close, we realized that it was due time to con- sider our senior play. Then followed some of the most pleasant, quiet, agreeable class meetings we ever held. How ditlicult it was to obtain a majority! Finally, one bright November morning we met in Miss Stevens' room, cast the final vote and agreed upon J. Hartley Manner's popular play, Peg o' My Heart. A few days later we gathered in the auditorium where tryouts were held and the cast chosen. Defying all superstition, we had our first rehearsal on Friday, November thirteenth, and with Miss Stevens as our competent and experienced coach, we began to work strenuously for the coming event. Second in importance to senior play was the question of a year book. Like the popular question to bob or not to bob, we discussed every phase of the subject. The possibility of substituting a monthly periodical for a year book seemed to some of the class, out of the question. But in view of the fact that a school paper would benefit the lower classes, we decided to establish a precedent which we hope will be carried on through the future years. During December our interest centered upon three things-the editing of the Guide Post, the Senior play and basketball-and of course our studies. The members of the Guide Post staff worked faithfully on the first publication, the cast rehearsed daily for the play and basketball assumed a place of importance, as the possibility of the county champion- ship loomed in the distance. Every Senior will remember the fifteenth and sixteenth of January for on those memorable days, the tirst edition of the Guide Post was heartily received by the students and the senior play was presented before one of the largest audiences ever assembled in the high school. Such CCOnfinued on page forly-onej