Hill Military Academy - Adjutant Yearbook (Portland, OR)

Page 107 text:

Fred Brodeck took a lady friend for a ride in his motheris car. 'They were parked a little way from a popcorn wagon. My, but that popcorn smells good,'7 remarked the girl. That's rightf' returned the gallant Fred, I'll drive up closer 'so you can smell it betterf' It was the old lady's first trip by train, and noticing the bell cord, 'she gave it a vigorous tug with the handle of her umberella. The train came to a sudden halt and the conductor rushed in to -see what was wrong. 'fWhat do you want? he asked breathlessly. A ham sandwich and a glass of milk, was the reply. Sergeant Qlnstructing Calisthenics,j Now, men, lie on your backs .and work your feet as though you were on a bicycle. One Cadet stops. Sergeant, Hey, why did you stop? Cadet, K'I'm coastin,' sirf' Visitor, So they call that Black Mountain? Is there any legend about it? Guide, t'Yeh, Two men went up it and never returned. Visitor, Ghastly, What do you suppose happened to them? Guide, f'Nuthin, They went down the other side. HOW THE FRESHMAN SAYS IT ---- Twinkle, twinkle little star, How I wonder what you are Up above the world so high Like a diamond in the sky. HOW THE SENIOR SAYS IT ---- Scintillate, scintillate diminutive planet, How I ponder over your identity, Up above this terrageous globe so greatly elevated, Similar to a mineral of carbon, crystallized in the semetric system in the iirmament. Cadet Grimes, Do you serve shrimps here? Waiter, UYes sir, What will you have? HEALTH HINT. No child should be spanked On an empty stomach. Turn him 'OVC1'. Prof. Gavin: L'Are you sure this is a purely original theme you have handed in?M Student: UYes sir, but you may possibly come across one or two .of the words in the dictionary.

Page 106 text:

DADY'S GONE A HUNTINH We remember a snipe hunt at Rocky Butte last year, but one of our cadets beat that this year. He borrowed a school rifle, and went out after stool pigeons. NO JOKE. Murphy, after being away for some time, rushed over to see his old friend Riley. He arrived there just as the pallbearers were carry- ing his old pal out. Amazed, he asked the first pallbearer, 'CIS Riley dead?'7 The man gave no reply, so he repeated his question to the second pallbearer with the same result, 'LIS Riley dead? The little fellow gave Murphy a look full of scorn and said, What the heck do you think this is, a rehearsal? , CAVE MAN STUFF. The mountaineers they have long ears, They live in caves and ditches, They pound their socks upon the rocks, And beat their wives with switches. HI bane going to spend four years at Yale,'l said the Swede burglar as he felt the Cop's hand on his shoulder. OY, OY. They must have had dress suits in Biblical times. How come?? It says in the Bible that he rent his clothes. COME SEVEN. Osteopaths aren't the only ones who make money rolling the bones. PLUNK Director, Vouill have to drive off that cliff and rescue the heroine. Star, Why there isn't two feet of water there. Director, I know it. There isnit the least chance of drowning. LET'S PLAY. You say he has catarrh? No, guitar. Well, whats the difference? You play on one, the other plays on your constitution. YIPPEE. We award the prize for bowleggedness to the fellow who got on a horse and found that he had both feet in the wrong stirrups. Lady in grocery store, 'Td like to see your Head cheese pleasef' Clerk, HSorry, ma'm, but he's out to lunch.

Page 108 text:

Cadet Nunn, I just met a fellow who's crazy. He said he was Santa Claus. Cadet Berlin, How do you know he's not? Cadet Nunn, I am. Actor Cwith feelingj t'Will you miss me?', Voice from rear, 'tGive me a gun and I'll try not tof' And why should we celebrate Washingtonts birthday more than mine? 'tasked Col. Bowen. Because he never told a lie, shouted one of the Freshman class. Prof. Munjar, Do you call that a pleasure car,?'7 Maclean or Olcott, Yeah, itls a pleasure to get out of it. Cadet Berlin Cin football scrimmagej Ouch! Somebody kicked my crazy bone. Cadet Karr, '4Well, why did you get your head so far down? A prominent Colonel was visiting a military camp, and was told of a certain negro trooper who could eat seventeen loaves of bread in succession. The Colonel, thinking his host to be joking, bet him five dollars that the negro couldn't prove that statement. The negro was summoned to the officeris quarters. Rastus, began the host, Uthe Colonel wants to see you eat seven- teen loaves of bread, one after the other. Yessuh, boss. The negro started eating the bread. Four loaves went down beauti- fully. Numbers five, six, seven, and eight went terribly hard. As the negro started on the ninth he said he couldn't possibly eat another bite. The host becoming uneasy, blunted, 'fWotinell,s the matter, any- way? Ah doan know wot de mattah cud be, suh, said the negro, shyly, it wohked jest fine oney a minute ago. Cadet Gordon, Br-r-r-r-r-rr, this weather chills me to the bone. Cadet Stinson, Y ou ought to wear a hat. Young Husband, t'Something seems to be wrong with this cake. Young Bride, ttThat shows what you know about it, because the cook book says it is perfectly delicious. Colonel Bowen, 'tWhat makes the Tower of Pisa, lean? Cadet Greve, fWho is fatl Ulf I knew, 'fColonel, 'Td sure take somef' You can't expect to enter Heaven by the same methods you use to keep out of jail.