Highland Park College - Piper Yearbook (Des Moines, IA)

Page 200 text:

JUNE SALES NOW GN In which there are important economies, and a real service in the broad varieties of needfuls for the home and wardrobe- The Great June Sale of Blouses The Fifth Annual June Linen Shower The Great June Sale of Silk and Muslin Underwear NOTE-Graduation apparel, fabrics and trimmings for graduation dresses, and their accessories, are ready in complete assortments. xxx xxxsxxxkxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxv If you are particular about your linen. send collars and shirts to the Model Laundry where they will be care- fully handled. giving' most satisfactory service. SEE COLLEGE AGENTS MODEL LA UNDRY 531 SIXTH AVE. Dr. H. B. Woods Dr- R- L- Parker Physician and Surgeon PhY3iCian and SUFZCOPI OFFICE AND RESIDENCE 6th 8 EUCLID I PHONE WALNUT 819 Hours: ll to I2 m, 3 to S p, m, Office Hours: ll to I2 m. 3 to 5 p. m. 7 to 8 p. m. 3510 6th Ave. Telephone Wal. 2771

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SAFETY IN NUMBERS Rube--I am going to get drunk before every game this spring. John If-Why is that? Rubes-Well, it' I can see eight or ten balls, I ought to be able to hit one of them. EPITAPHS He borrowed a t'riend's automobile. He took tl1e wrong tablets. He thought it would be fun to rock the boat. He argued religion in a saloon. He didnit know it was loaded. He was an innocent by-stander. .Here rest the bones of Silas Gray- The darn fool got too smartg He looked into a un one day To see the bulIet start. Here rests the bones ol' Ezra Tank- His folly none could throttleg He got up in the dark and drank Out of the acid bottle. Here lie the bones of Hiram Blaine, Who trusted to his feet, And wouldn't take an aeroplane To cross a jitney street. Qiluh iviatiztirn B. P. D. Signifying-Bunch Positively Dopey. Founded-At Carney one rainy night. Number ol' active members-Far too many. Number ol' inactive lnembers--Nobody knows. Situation-Pathetic. Favorite Stunt-Doing Nothing. Motto-In God we trust-lend me a buck. B. B. G. Signifying-Bank, By Gosh! Founded-By accident we hope. We hate to think of such a thing as malice aforethought. ' Number ot' active lTlCllllJCFS--UI1llll1J01'ttlllI. Number ot' inactive members-Still more unimportant. Situation--Heart-rending. Favorite Stunts-Holding Sunday morning initiation i11 the Y rooms. Motto-Safely First--Gel all the faculty members we can.

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T. D. T. Signit' ingM4Thoroughly Disgusting, Too. F0llllf?2'd--A couple ot' West Virginia bar-keeps have been accused, but plead not guilty. Number ot' active members-They don't seem to know. Nuluber ol' inactive members-Nobody else seems to care. Situation-Pitiful. Favorite Stunt-Brazenly breaking and entering sacred chambers to pull Brutal Pugalistic encounters. Motto-VVine, Women and Song-None ot' them can sing. P. K. D. Signifying-Punk Kollege Debaters. Founded-Far from H. P. C. Does not interest anyone anyway. Number ol' active members-Staggering. Nlllllbtfl' ot' inactive members-Not having taken calculus, we are unable to say. Situation-Ashamed to admit. Favorite Stunt-lmitating Demosthenes, or W. J. Bryan fexcept the grape-juice stutl'J. Motto- We may not be able to fight, .Nor run any l'aster'n a walk- But whether we're wrong or we're right, We put up a fi ot' a talk. K. T. P. Signil'yingMKiss Too Promiscuously. Founded-At Oxford by Miss Take and Miss Calculation. Number ol' active members-31Ag. Nlllllblll' ot' inactive members-Mg. Situation-Horrid. ' Favorite Stunt-Kissinl, o, course. Motto- Give us liberty or give us deathg Down with the chaperones! Down with the mat1'ons! YES! YES! When father slipped upon the ice, Because he could not standg He saw the glorious stars above- We saw our latherland.