High School for the Performing and Visual Arts - Images Yearbook (Houston, TX)

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Transcendentalism by Lisa Pearson It had been a gift, that revealing. I'd wanted to tell him everything, of course. It was as though I had saved it all to present as a token of my worth, to be convincing. He had smiled at me, then walked away. It was now nearing the end of summer, the end of the spell of heat and squinting eyes that I detest so much. I ached for the fall, waiting for the world to come back to life, waiting for colors and security to return. We were staying near the beach now, a crowd of people in a little house on stilts. The walls shook when one ran through that house. The people were acquaintances, all of them. Buffet meals and half-wit conversation. The sun was always glaring, there was always a little salt in the air, and there was always grit under our feet. All around us swirled bright orange and white canvas and vinyl, waving, Be cheerful! Have fun! We changed in and out of bathing suits and never brushed our hair. The only time I felt a little bit alive was when, in the late afternoon, I went to the beach alone and stood gazing at sweeping waves and blue and white light, and felt the air becoming cool around me, and dreamed of drowning. I felt worthy when solitary. I felt the waves and the sky did not resent me when I came alone. I was treated kindly when alone at the seashore. The waves did not try to frighten me with crashing when I stood alone. The sun did not torture me, and the sky carried me away, lifted me almost to Heaven, but I was still alone, and I drank the blue, and it enveloped me. I walk the beaches now, it washes me. Whatever has happened, whatever happens, I have this. The sand is flesh-colored, but unlike flesh, it asks nothing of me, it never deepens in color. It was only natural to pick up the shell which caught my eye, but its being gray-blue made all the difference. l'll make a necklace. l've never made a necklace before. Other people make necklaces.

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40' View

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But no, those thoughts came later. At the seashore, it was only china-blue and white and a little gold, and pictures, sails on the horizon. He could of course rise out of the waves, or fade in before the sun without a hint of shadow, and always those eyes shining almost black. Reality. The way he'd looked at me. He'd asked, after all. They can only hurt you if YOU know you've done wrong. I'd only held out my hands and the soul they'd clutched. I was not demanding, not begging, not even asking, only giving. Execution with no crime is murder. I had died. l But I hadn't really. I had only pulled inside myself like a snail. I was lying dormant somewhere within myself. I stood in the sun, staring at the blue, realizing that here will always be that part of me, a small sigh, a capillary in my wrist, that belongs here, which is part of the blue and rises with the waves. ,,...,.,-... ---W - ------ f 1 ,sw 'ff-ff ', f f VZ I ' I QA EI 22 gg 'X vt: fm, . .2 ' .2 it Ia?:fIII. 0' ff Zi -'ff' ffffifjffffiiw vI ' 77201. W f ' 7514 'X I ,Ii My if if ff' , :fi :gl ...fy ,I . 1 I 7 .I ff fy f.I ff. wx?-I I' 1 F ' if f If IIIIFIIII ff . In WI 4 , 251 If ff . 1,1 fi Im- a Y f , . 4 I I--:af l w I 4 1' fl 7' .If fd: -fzi I ,sw ,-1 ' f I'! V . ,I 12 ff' Iffcv ' fl ' It I 'f f iff CW M VI X , , , :I I 1 inf' I QR: I K- fI 1 A f- 1 I .III I ef I fl: I J f f , ' fa ggi lf 0. I I I I- I -I I I l l I ef I I 1 1, ff HI' ,f I I?'pf-v 4 I f 13- ' Ie I ie 'lI illII I f-1 ' -'Il' I 4 ' 5? 'Q fr , 3' .I Q7 I , I ' ii? ' g i I I I I' Ill I if I' ' 'ai 'Z 1' ai Il if .5 y' I ' ,1l' I V I I il IIII I' I ,Il 'IQ Mfr I ffm? ffl 4 If - I 1 I ,- 1 I 2 I I I, , I, ' fa' 1 -' ' 'C I I .If if Ii fiif II I nfl S I I , I I ,f I W! 7 f f If: M 0 ff 'I Ii I I .I I. -, II I I I f . , I I 1 AI ff ' f I I- I I II I X I I I 1 f ff Iv fu f I I 1 I' i t Ifll If s I 'i I 1 I I 4:11 I I , qi 1 I Q .v I if f is in , :I fa-, f I 1 1 f- ,I-I, 1. i I iz I ., If' , X I, I, ,4 f Z' fi' ,H .fs ' ' I qgx 'I ,f -' ' It I fi! I III llli, 'III 44 I I ll 9367 I if f If .4702 A I Q I f I II 1 ,Lf I 7 L. 15 fw gf, ,I,I I ,I W I. I I 'I I f-if I 'I ,, , ,K -lg' if 5 1 , I 449 f Iii ' 'iti l -- A 4-'!'f'a'1i'ii Z N I I I tl 5 'da I' Z fl I 3 J if XIIIII I H 1' X - 'I so .-,--f-If- fs 2 ' 1 Ia-, if ' I fits' I I lv ' 'V I 'lllirc -vf 'ii?L-fin-'ia -Qi-XQ-I -eff-f--f'l 'm 'f- 'fx'-If' I I fI :fy Ll f X ' f gf' ,W -efelve-enf AH J -I I II ? ,. A I -fn K V Y -f-f -- ----Z4 V VV fr, f sv ,-. 1 A :I if , U .f ,I ,f I - I- s, -v .::-. W V.- A .33 4 e ' -f ,2.I-vw! ,cfm 's's' - fiifi ,KJ Qf'5Lf f:-Ifarif--If '- 'X if 1 I 7 I I - I1 ff -' ff I I If -an I' E? ' Ifff f' ' 'LX we? . ,I .ff Q. f,.s, -- Y,,, K-Y. ,' . -- Q 'f ' f ' , ' .g, I'- , .v9'LN'-.. ,I QJW JA? K' R -..QW fx - I-I' ff ,ff X. , if X Kggggm- . X, ' f e, . I Qfsf 'ic' i Lex 5 E , !,, 'P A 0 f' 1:1 -If' 4 K-c Xin--III X , ' 2 ,f 'L-li' ., V-1 I, . I X XA' Hp- 5 gf-,. 'X , , , x I xc-- ffffic? X-- I 5. M Have 61.01019