High School of Commerce - Caravel Yearbook (New York, NY)

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COMMERCE YEAR BOOK, 1911 ignbnah-Zeal! layer BEING AN EPISODE or THE FACULTY GAME BY HARRY KLIPPER, '13 'lhey wrote it dow11 P, Bohnad, in the Commerce teachers' Roll, We fellows called him Mathy in a manner that was drollg Not .that we thought him Christy fthough his curves were wondrous fine In circles and hyperboles-his figure-from behindj. Ivlot that he was a pitcher, nor that we thought he knew 'lhe difference when the Umpire says You're out! from That's strike two. But-.the fact is, 'twas a nickname that some gay chap did invent Xvlllllll lniplied that dear old Bohny was of geometric bent. Yet he was a wondrous player Cmodestly he told the samej. But this is introduction-let us hurry to the game. -'Twas the last half of the ninth, our loved Faculty was sore: Pitted 'gainst their fondest foemeng neither side had made a score. And how they hated Clinton! just last season she had won From our sweetest bunch of wise men-year before we'd had the fun. So there's reason for the long, wild yell that fairly rent the air NVhen young Sprig, who taught us English, shattered thrice the atmosphere. But when Pringle, History-wonder, did the same in noble style, You'd have opined that Commerce had a premium on a smile. Here-'twas here-O gentle reader, can you guess what then occurred? If I thought so, do believe me, I'd not whisper one wee word, Though my heart grieves at the telling. though I hold you- in suspense, Though it's hard to keep you waiting when the momentis so intense, Still I have to speak it softly, choosing words thatfmatch with Fame: For-Patronius Bohnad at this stage went in the game. just like immortal Casey, slow our hero took his place, VVell he knew his dread position-not a tremor crossed his face, VVith a toss he Hung his wavy locks back from his brainful brow, His eyes Hasherl fire, his teeth clicked firm, you can imagine how. And then like old pal Casey, when the pitcher hurled the sphere, VVith might and main and bat he swung-Temporal and oh dear! He swung like Casey, but unlike that much o'errated chap, Bat and ball collided with a crack like thunder-clap! Bat and ball collided, but-Oh, must I this relate? C1-low fast, how fleeting is fair Fame that slips by e'en the great D Though Bohny hit that sphere as neler 1've seen one hit before, Though it traveled far. oh, far beyond the place they keep the scoreg Though he'd bragged about his baseball, and we now believe each word- Bohnad sprang away like deer-hound, but horrors !-down towards third! . Vain-in vain they screamed him warnings, jeered and cursed him, too, in vain Can one check the blind tornado? Can one hold the hurricane? Like a streak of shooting lightning he circled those four bags, . Crossed home, got up, then bang !-his back the opposing catcher tags. And while the mighty roar that rose dropped short to blank dismay, fFor we said, 'fthe score's still tied and there's no more time to play.'lJ A Clintonese instructor. a geometric fiend, . Came rushing up exclaiming with a grim and awful nnen: The game is ours, see Umpire !-we've won, our side has won! Though Clinton, true, has failed to score, Commerce is MINUS ONE! Oh, scattered through this grand old .globe lim pretitv sure,you'll find Many a teacher ball-team, where the kids arevleft to grind, Many a gallant Commerce game. replete with fight and fun, But none-O never! lost before by 21 SCOTC of 111111115 0116- 66

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COMMERCE YEAR BOOK, 1911 John looked at Helen, and Helen looked at John. Then they both turned around and looked up the road in search of a house. But this and the following search failed to reveal anything resembling a house. Tohwait for a passing car or any vehicle was useless, since the road was unfrequented. It was also beginning to rain. Seeing there was nothing else to do, they set out to walk to their destination. No one, no matter how happy he or she may be, can keep up his spirits in the face of a four-mile walk, a rain and a rough road, with nothing over his clothes. Both John and Helen were no exceptions. After they had gone a mile, they stopped kissing and walked sile11tly on, john talking beneath his breath. VVhen they had gone three miles, they were walking a foot apart. After three miles had been covered, Helen was beginning to scold John, as is the custom among women. She blamed him for luring her from a comfortable home to a walk in the rain. She talked as if John had known that the gasoline was going to give out and that it was going to rain. She was absolutely sure that she was going to have a severe attack of pneumonia, after which she was going to die. And poor John, trudging along with his hands in his pockets and his collar turned up, had nothing to say, for the simple reason that he was thinking. To marry a girl who could talk so, was impossible. He would . . . but here his meditations were cut short by their arrival at the minister's house. Their ill-luck was not to end here, however. 'When they had been admitted by the ministerfs wife, they found that her husband was not at home. This was the last straw. VVithout a word to John, Helen followed her hostess to a room where she could change her clothing. John also changed his, putting on one of the minister's suits, given him by that man's wife. ' The arrival of the minister did not cause a marriage. Instead Helen prevailed upon that good man to drive her home, while John went back to his automobile with a can of borrowed gasoline. Now both Helen andhjohn are happily married, but not to each other. They are, however, the best of friends. 65

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COMMERCE YEAR BGOK, 1911 just a 'little am H. VAN BAALEN, ,II , wx 1 VICO VVEELE lay back in his easy chair in his den in the Aranaco 1 ,Q , apartments and lolled. Now, as Di Vico was of the wealthy class he l could afford to loll. In his hand he had a picture of Niagara Falls. 5 ex,,,.',f' nj Suddenly he jumped to his feet with an exclamation, By George! -4' W'ell, now what dlye think of that? I believe it could be done too. Then he rushed off to his trash-littered desk, and in utter disregard of the possible value of papers, pamphlets, etc., pulled out drawer after drawer and scat- tered the contents right and left. Finally he found the object of his search, and with a chortle of triumph, pounced upon it. 'He carried it back to his den and opened to view a map of New England in great, detail. Every river, streamlet, or village had its place on this map. Hastily he seized a pencil and started to trace out the course of his idea. When his pencil finally stopped, he drew back and looked at the point where he had paused. 'iNot so far, he muttered. I'll have a try at it, anyhow. It's something new. I-Iurriedly he packed a quantity of clothing into his grip, and then with an amused smile at his own childishness went off in a taxi to the Grand Central Station. For a few days the sleepy little village of Denvor, Vermont, sat up and looked interested in its latest addition. However, as he was a very ordinary young man, and did not try to sell the villagers any Standard Coal stocks, they soon lapsed into their lethargy. The only peculiar thing about this chap was his habit of taking long solitary walks along the bank of a streamlet that flowed through Denvor, and ended in a scraggly little brook in Zeke Stever's old farm, a few miles up. The young fellow, whom you have doubtless guessed was Di Vico, soon cultivated a friendship with Zeke, and usually ended his rambles with a glass of milk at Zeke's house. ' One night Zeke came down to the general store, and, after purchasing a pair of woolen socks, turned to the assembled company, and said with 811 important air, W'ell, boys, I don't suppose yew've heard that I be goin' away. f'Naw? Is that so? VVall, I suppose yew be goin' to let Jake manage the farm while you're away, eh ? No, fact is, boys, 1've sold the farm. XVaal, waal, who've yew sold the farm to, Zeke?i' To that young feller-W'eele-he sez his name is. He's taken a fancy to the place, and as I never could raise nothin' on it, I was glad to sell it. It was true. Di Vico had bought the old farm, and the following day he moved in. He had purchased the furniture and stock, so he had no settling to do. A hobo who came along was captured, and after many inducements was finally hired for ten dollars a week, and was given a pair of overalls to work in. The following morning Di Vico and his man went down to the general store, and purchased two wagon-loads of bricks and mortar, ten heavy concrete blocks. and two trowels and mortar-boards. These they dumped beside the little stream, and doffing most of their clothes, they waded into the stream, which at this point was three inches deep and four feet wide. Soon they had built a strong Wall, about three feet high, and extending two feet on either side. This was backed up by a wall of concrete blocks which created an effectual dam. The old plough horse was 67