High School of Commerce - Tradesman Yearbook (Boston, MA)

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TI-IE TRADESMAN M Young Ham has a frail called Ophelia, An' her pop is a dreary old goof. An' they can't dope why Hamlet's gone batty, They clon't know what he seen on the roof. Well, Ham goes an' calls on his mother, An' he bawls the old girl Tout fer fair, Then he sees somethin' move in the curtains, An' he thinks that the uncle is there, So he jabs with his sword through the curtain An' he cries, Now we're even, my lad. But it isn't the King but Polonius, And he's killed poor Ophelia's old dad. Then Ophelia, poor kid, just goes daffy, When she hears how her old man is crowned, An' she goes around singing like crazy, Till she walks in the lake and gets drowned. There's a jolly old scene in the graveyard Where Prince Hamlet gets into a scrap With Ophelia's big brother, Laertes, Who wants to muss up Hamlet's map. Then the King says, Now boys, don't act nasty I know -how to fight this thing out, live got some tin swords at the castle, An' we'll frame up a nice friendly bout. Then he winks at Laertes and whispers, We'll knock this here mut for a goolg I'll smear up your sword with some poison, An' we'll make Hamlet look like a fool. - So they pull off the bout like they plan it, But the king thinks his scheme may slip up, So he orders a cold drink for Hamlet, An' some poison he sneaks in the cup. Then Ham and Laertes start lighting, And the king slips Laertes the wink, But the Queen she ain't wise to vvhat's doing, An' she swallers the king's poisoned drink. Then Hamlet gets stuck in the shoulder An' he sees hows he's framed from the start, So he switches the swords on Laertes, An' he stabs the poor bum through the heart. An' he says, '4Well, let's call it a day. Then the Queen dies, the King dies, and Ham dies I calls it a helluva play. fRepr1nted from OPERA GUYED by Newman Levy, by permission of and special arrangement with Alfred A. Knopf, Inc Authorized Publishers. J 5

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TI-IE. TRADESMAN A REVUE OF REVIEWS With the passing of snowballs, both overhead and underfoot, signs of spring again draw close to this section of mother earth. The only review in this case is bruised backs, wet feet, and slippery corridors. As to the support, in track, hockey, and the buying of Commerce Life, what did you do? Many copies of Commerce Life were left over. Was it nonsupport on your part or on the part of the fellows next to you? Another thing, there are only a very few days from now until the prize drill. Have you done your best in drill periods? If you have, the best of luck to you. Carry away the well earned stripe and when you look back, from time to time, review the winning incident. WVhat about your marks? Two more by-monthlies and then the long vacation. Do you feel as though you were earning this vacation or is just the mere passing of weeks, in their customary routine, bringing it to you? Think it over. The end of this month brings about a main event that shall go down in Commerce history as its predecessors have done. Don't forget, it's the Commerce Revue! Fellow students, under the coaching of Mr. Decelles, are going to put it over with a crash! You put it over with your cash! Many John Barrymores have written their own lines. Come and help them succeed. It's the twenty-second of April. HAMLET Last night the boss slips me a ticket Fer a show by the name Barrymore What was wrote by a bird they call Hamlet An' believe it or not, kid, I'rn sore. Fer it's gloom from the moment it opens Till the time the theayter shuts, An' the company's half o' them loony An' the rest o' the cast is all nuts, This Barrymore lad is called Hamlet But his real name is George W. Gloom, He's a regular Life Ol the Party, He's as jolly an' gay as a tomb. His old man was King o' the Denmarks, An' the poor simp's gone weak in the bean, Fer his dad has been croaked by his uncle, Who, right afterwards, marries the Queen. So young Hamlet just hangs around sad like, An' he talks to hisself like a nut, But as yet he ain't hep that his father Was bumped off by his uncle, the mutt. One night he slips out o' the castle An' goes up on the roof fer some air, When along comes the ghost of his father, An' he shoots him an earful fer fair, That lowlife, your uncle, has croaked me, An' has went off an' married your ma. Will you let that rat hand you the ha ha? Says Hamlet, Just you notice me, pa. I 4

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