High School of Commerce - Tradesman Yearbook (Boston, MA)

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TI-IE. TRADESMAN When I regained consciousness I found myself in a small room made of stone and cement. A rank odor similar to stagnant water greeted my nostrils, and there was a damp feeling in the air. There was no light vis- ible and I suspected that I was in a sort of a dungeon or underground room. After what seemed to be four or live hours, a door suddenly opened and the room was flooded with light. I immediately made a minute ex- amination of my prison. It was about twenty feet long, ten feet wide and fifteen feet high. I was about to inspect further when the door was closed and the light blotted out. While I was lying there I began to think of the position I was in. I could conceive of no plausible reason for arousing the anger of these men, or could I recollect anybody that I had for an enemy who would capture me like this. It suddenly flashed upon me that perhaps they would try to starve me, but while these thoughts were rushing through my mind, sleep overtook me. Upon awakening, however, I found that my first fears were groundless, for on the Hoor not far away from me was a bowl of water and some vic- tuals in a dish. Soon after I had eaten the food, I again slept, and I dreamt of many weird and fantastic things. Suddenly and without warning I was rudely jerked from the ground and pulled into the air. For a moment I was nonpulsed at this maneuver, but it did not take long for me to come to my senses. I was being drawn up through the ceiling by a rope which had been fastened about my body. As I passed through the ceiling I found myself in a dimly lighted room. My first impulse was to cry out and ask them what they meant by bringing me here, but on second thought I remained silent. I could see at a glance that these men were not responsible for their actions, by the very look in their eyes and the manner in which they were dressed. But this wasn't helping me. There were seven of them, all seated at a large table facing me. They wore long black flowing robes with a skull and bones pictured on the chest. After they had looked at me for several minutes, one of them stood up and motioned for me to come for- ward. I decided it was time for me to talk and I asked why and with what right they had taken me prisoner. My captor seemed to ignore my question at first but at length he said that I was a menace to the Order of the Green Goats, and that I had violated several of their rules, Cthough he would not tell me what they werej and that after much deliberation, they had decided that I should die between midnight and seven o'clock the next morning. The method of execution was not explained and after that I was lowered back into my prison to await the worst. At about six o'clock the next morning I was again drawn up through the aperture and placed before my captors. The black bearded one an- nounced that my time had come. I was blindfolded and told to step live- ly. After walking about five minutes I came out in the air. How good it felt to breathe fresh air again. The cloth was removed from my eyes and I saw, much to my astonishment that I was in a small clearing in the woods which was surrounded on all sides by high mountains. I knew that in this god-forsaken place, no one would ever hear me shout and come to my rescue. The next objects that met my gaze were two wooden frames outlined against the sky. One, I could plainly see was a gallowsg the other, I could 11

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TI-IE. TRADESMAN Pm not laughing, said Bones, hastily, 661,111 only thinking- I started incredulously. What! I cried, thinking!! Where, asked Bones, ignoring his assistant, where was the rat-trap last seen? Right here!,' Pickle pointed to about six square feet of Hoor which were now entirely covered by Bones' huge feet. I was gonna put a chunk of Limburger in it. I went to get a piece. When I came back, ,twas gone! Ah, woe is me! He gnashed his false teeth so furiously that they fell out. Bones eyed the six square feet with what he fondly believed to be an eagle eye. Suddenly, without a sound, except for a loud, piercing cry that cracked the cuspidor, he leapt upon the floor, squinting at -it through his favorite-and only-instrument, the magnifying glass. He sniffed about excitedly, and his nose was so long and strong that, like a vacuum cleaner, it swept up all the dust within a radius of ten feet. I knew it would not harm him, however, for Bones has a stomach like the inside of a concrete mixer. He even drinks European coffee! Our client looked on, a look of keen interest in his glass eye. Bugosh! quoth he, I always heard as how Mr. Bones could disguise himself as anything from an elephant to a cuspidor, but I never believed it. Yet here heis, a human vacuum cleaner. Even if he doesn't get back the rat-trap, I can have him sweep all the Hoors, eh ? He looked at me. He is a marvelous masqueraderf' I remarked, emptying the bottle of banana-oil, and he can disguise himself as anything ranging from a mon- key or Tony the VVonder Hoss to Duke the Wonder Dog or Fido the Won- der Fish. Bah! Bunk I Pickle made his meaning clearer, Banana oil V' 'Tis true, ass,', I growled. All he does is improve his face-not an easy task-and . . . Here I plugged the gas lead. The subject of my eulogy was conspicuous by his absence. , Pickle-he certainly had the habitual appearance of one who has swal- lowed one, also noticed it. Egad, quoth he in the tones of one announcing a great discovery, the sleuth has gone! and he peered about the place, convincing himself that nothing had disappeared along with Bones. A simple, trusting soul, this Mr. Pickle. fTo be concludedj . THE MANIACS. By john B. Burke I was captured, there was no getting away from the fact, and I could not have chosen a worse band than this one to fall into. To make it worse, these men were maniacs. I cannot clearly remember many of the circum- stances preceding my capture. It seems that as I was walking along, a man with a heavy black beard, dark bushy eyebrows and coal black eyes, stepped out from behind a tree and asked me to direct him to the nearest town. While I was explaining, several other figures emerged and were beginning to surround me. I at once suspected a trap, and my hand flashed to my hip pocket. Suddenly I felt a sharp blow on the head and then-oblivion. 10

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