Higgins Classical Institute - Scroll Yearbook (Charleston, ME)

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H.c.1.scaoLL 'za 'E 51 2- E r- 3 T I Drank eight cokes and coughed seven up? not. Swallowed flrecrackers so his hair would Volcano - A mountain that's carrying grow up in bangs? the torch. Thought marcelled hair was a new way Absent-minded - Thinking apparatus to cook rabbit? Died with his boots on so he would not hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket? Took a bicycle to bed with him so he wouldn't have to walk in his sleep? Met a girl in a revolving door and has been going around with her since? As he was dying asked for a chair for Rigor Mortis to set in? Swallowed a tape measure so he could die by inches? Took sugar and cream to the movies be- cause he heard there was going to be a new serial? Drove his car over a cliff so he oofuld test his new air brakes? Silly Sallies Cornheld - A farm where stale songs grow. -Mldshipman - Sailor who rides on mid- dle deck. Watchdog - Puppy with time on his hands. Bookworm -- Insect who bets on .the horses. Income Tax - The outcome of last year's hard labor. Slippers - Pair of banana peels. Broadminded - Wide open spaces be- tween the ears. Center of Gravity -- Middle of the steak where you pour the gravy. Optimism - An optical illusion. Dynamite - But then again, Dinah might gone A.W.O.L. Catalogue - Ship's dream of the famous boatride of the pussy cat and the owl. Macaroni - Ventilated noodles. Dandruff - Pleated collar worn by a dandy. Diary - Contldante that can't talk back. Sweet N-athings - Sugar-coated air bub- bles. Jitter-bug - Rug-cutter with the ague. PUSH-BUTTON RADIO PROGRAM. Push We. now bring you the latest news from- Push Way down upon the Swane-e-e River, down- Push In the basement where you find a new shade of- Push Fool-em false teeth, for a clearer, bright- er- Push Head, this aspirin is bound to help you when you- Push Hear the Corn Cobblers play that new song, Pistol Packing- Push ' Grandmother, or any other member of the family who has- Push Just come back from their Christmas shopping-

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'72 H. C. I. S C ROLL Don't Look Now While one of our Higgins boys was fight- ing hand to hand with a slant-eyed Jap. Missed me, hissed the Jap. Did I? asked the H.C.I. boy. Just wait till you try to turn your head. Mild Slllggestion 'Ihe more than' usual lack of intelligence among the students that morning had got under Mr. Keith's skin. 'iClass is dismissed, he said exasperatedly. Please don't nap your ears on the way out. Extract Something Docky Libby: I can't stand it any longer: I am gc-ing to the dentist's this instant and have this tooth pulled. Marion Rozelle: Nlcnsense! Your tooth doesn't acheg it's only your imagination. Docky Libby: Then I will have him pull out my imagination. We Wonder What Would Happen If: Dick Watson lost Faith in life. - Betty Connors could catch no Fish. Charlene Frazier kept out of trouble. Irene and Ormie never walked campus. Girls never followed Lefty. Docky didn't smile. Ronald York couldn't go to Bradford. Ricky Shammwell kept his room clean. Neil Soule flunked an exam. Paul Bishop had his tonsils out. Butch couldn't argue. Violet didn't get iiustered in Chemistry class. Mr. Keith couldn't make the Seniors work. H.C.I. didn't have exams. Und Wie Mr. Meader in History class was telling the pupils what the people in different states were called. Now, he said, the people from Indiana are called Hoosiersg the people from North Carolina, Tar Headsg the people from Mich- igan, Michiganders. What are the people from Maine called? I know, said Stinson. Well, what are we called? asked Mr. Meader. Maniacs, brightly answered Stinson. Boys and Girls Education finds that girls lead boys-and a very merry chase it is. Boys will be boys-but the girls are giving them a hot contest for the privilege. You Don't Say! Kipling didn't know Blondie when he wrote The Charge of the Light Brigade. Paul Bishop: Do you know how to get mental exercise ? Walter Allen: Neg how do you get men- tal exercise? Paul Bishop: Go around jumping to conclusions. Mr. Fotter, in Algebra class: You can see more curves in Hve minutes with a sef, of French curves than you ever saw before in your life. Dole went to see his doctor. Well, Dole, the doctor greeted him, what can I do for you? If I knew that, I wouldn't be paying you two do-llars to tell me. Time Out! JoAnn: Why are you stopping the car? Frank, home on leave: The road bock says to turn north and follow the trolley. We'll have to wait for one. Miss Estey: So you finally decided to sweep out your room! Occupant, disgustedly: No, I'm sweeping out the dirt and leaving the room. Is your wife a club woman, Mr. Fotter ? No, man. She likes the flat-iron. Pedestrian: Say, you just mixed me! Driver: Well, stand still and I'll try again. Mary Shirley: Much as I hated to I gave up horseback riding and bought a second hand car. Leah Kane: How come? Mary Shirley: A doctor advised me to take more exercise. The First Slaves Ken Masse unexpectedly distinguished himself in a history exam. The question was: How and when was slavery introduced into America? The answer was: No women ever came to the early Virginia colony. The planters wanted wives to help with the work. In 1619 the London Company sent over a shiD10ad of girls. The planters gladly married them and slavery was introduced into America. If you have occasion to criticize a mule, do it to his face. Have You Heard About The 'Little Moron Who: Moved into town because he heard the country was at war?

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