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Page 84 text:
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Beatrice Bailey leaves her Oklahoma letters, her giggles, lovable character in gym class, and bass drum to Helen True and Charlotte Pendleton. Wonder what they'll do with them? Kenneth Kagel leaves his St. Bernard dog, and his cork QinJ good times, and his cole boat to China to Hollis Taylor. Corann Kafer wills her ability to take 200 words in shorthand for five minu.tes, her big, bold pekinese dog and her cars to Phyllis Kidwell and Donelda Haycraft. Don Conrady bequeaths his big appetite, dirty yellow corduroy pants, and his gardner to Norman Malcom. To the faculty we will all our chewing gum and the Declaration of Independence. And to the entire Junior Class, we the class of 1950 will all our good times, all our bad times, our semester tests, and our teachers, to do with as you see fit. PROPHECY Here it is, New Year's Eve in the year of 1970 and the class of 1950 have gathered in dear old H. C. H. S. for a gala New Year's Eve party to see all the old gang once more, Of course our hostess for the evening is Miss Virginia Ogden. Virginia has just made her second million as the owner of all the Thompson Restaurants in the United States. Virginia. is doing very well for herself and en- joys life as a career girl. Virgiina takes her place in the receiving line as her first guest appears. And who should it be but the noted Bill Fahle. Bill, in the course of 20 years has become editor of True Story Magazine. Bill has found this line of work very interesting and has decided to make a life time enterprise of it . Next to arrive is David Fuller. David could hardly be persuaded to leave his distillery down in the hills of Jimtown bu.t he hadn't seen his old classmates for 20 years and thought it would be nice to come back to civilization again. Just recently his bosom pal Jim Folks went into partnership with David, Jim was jilted by the girl he loved and he says he is going back into the hills to die of a broken heart. Ah-ha, look who is here! Mr. and Mrs. Robert Rex Girdler are honoring us with their presence. Bob kept going around in zirkles so he finally married the gal. Too bad he couldn't fix up that black eye that Nieva gave him with the rolling pin she got for Christmas. Such is married life! Here come the three confirmed bachelors. I mean Ralph Graham, Warren McConnell, and Donald True. They have a triplicate ownership in a burlesque show that has 300 beautiful girls in it, Well, we understand now Why they re- main bachelors. Enters: Mrs. Lloyd Best and her famous husband who is coaching at Notre Dame University. As you know, Mrs. Best is the former Tootie Runge. Mrs. Best says that being 9, famous coach's wife is very interesting. But even a famous coach can't always find baby sitters so they had to bring their 9 kids along. Don Conrady just came through the door, Don has become house father at Fell Hall on the I. S. N. U. campus. He likes college life very well he tells us. Well?? The guests that have arrived are all around the punch table when Rev. Ed- ward Elders arrives, Since Rev. Elders has gone into the ministry he cannot even drink his Necessary cup of coffee as he hal to stop drinking anthing stronger than milk. This was hard on Edward but he is being true to his calling. We hear a commotion outside but discover it is just Harold Necessary and Joe Birckelbaw making their presence known to us. Harold manufactures cars that will take the sharpest curve at 230 miles an hour. And--you guessed it, Joe tests the cars. Joe's motto has always been Drive slowly and carefully, It saves wear and tear on your tires. fContinued on Next Pagel .
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Page 83 text:
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SENIOR WILL We, the Senior Class of Heyworth High School, County of McLean, State of Illinois, in the year of our Lord, One Thousand Nine Hunred and Fifty, being of sound mind i?J and weak body, do hereby make, publish, and declare this our last will and testament, in manner and form as follows: Eddie Elder wills his ability to tell tall-stories in English class and his false teeth to Donna Morris. Josephine Price wills her small feet and her darkroom technique to Jim Craig. Norma Weaver bequeaths her art istic ability and gorgeous figure to Peggy Fitz- gerald and Darlene Johnson. Ralph Graham wills his ability to waltz or dance and to steer a Hudson to Francis Fulk. Warren McConnell bequeaths his ability to kill birds in the pest contest, and his touchdowns to Merle Martens. Joe Birckelbaw leaves his ability to drive reckless, live a quiet life and be a handsome corpse to Bob Coone and Ronnie Davis. Charlotte Spaulding wills her ability to carve wood , her silk pajamas, her violin talent to her sister, Rose Mary. Beverly Bonser bequeaths her bath tub, pet dove , and her bangs to Ralph Wal- den and David Downs. Freddy Cotner wills his ability of long shots, his glasses, the early-bird of Sun- day morning to Gene Swearingen, Junior Coone leaves all his young ladies and his A's in history class to Merle Jones. Virginia, Ogden leaves her place in band, her benediction, her killing laugh, and ability to mount a horse to Marie Pfeifer. Bill Fahle bequeaths his ability to sleep in Ag. class and his long eyelashes to Howard Cotton. Eldora, Runge wills her dimples, her hearty laugh, her ability to know all the answers in U. S. History class, her acquaintances at the restaurant to Phyllis Geske. Glenn Yates leaves his fancy car, his listening to long lectures , his airplane drawings in history class to Doris Dabney. Phyllis Cole wills her telephone calls, Plymouth rock, and the menftalJ capac- ity to Roger Stubblefield and Kathleen Williams. David Fuller leaves his place as the Fuller Brush man, his downs and ups in English to Donald Lee. Paula Smith bequeaths her ability of using large words, her inside information , and her wedding bells to Fernella Ensminger. Donald True wills his noted means of transportation and his 20 hamburgers to Charles Pendleton. Donna Waltz wills her artistic ability to Beverly Shannon and Wilma Coone. Jim Folks wills his love of careful hunting and excellent chau,ffeuring to Beverly J annusch. Neva Zirkle leaves her bobby sox, blonde hair, her ability to talk fast, and to keep smiling in history class to Joyce Martin. Bob Girdler bequeaths his athletic ability, his radio program Blondie , and his yellow convertible to Leonard Gardner. Ramona Halsey wills her turnup nose, her baby walker, and her power to hold her man to Doris Young. Harold Necessary bequeaths his royal powers and crown, his physique and his pole cat sweater to Duncan Limer. COontinued on Next Page?
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Page 85 text:
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Here comes that happy little chick whom we knew in high school as Bea Bailey. Bea met the millionaire Aly Khan shortly after his divorce from Rita Hayworth and she grabbed him right quick. You can certainly tell that he is hen-pecked. She even pursuaded him to build her a S180,000 home on Millionaire Road in Wapella, Illinois. Just in from California are Mrs. Norma Smith and her husband. Norma is still pursuing her favorite subject- Art , Shle has opened a shop in Los Angeles which she calls Smith's Variety Store. Now here comes three slick-chicks, Josie, Donna and Phyllis, Wow! What a girls stag-line they'll make! They tell me they've been in the Waves since school was out and yes! you guessed it, a sweetheart in every port. Well, have fun girls, there are going to be some navy men here tonight. In fact here they come now. Ahoy, Glenn Yates and Freddy Cotner! Attention fair ladies, look what the foul sea, air has blown in. Look! Here comes the well known traveling salesman, Mert Walker. But where is his cute little brown-eyed wife, Ramona? Is she ill? Oh, now I know! She came the same way she goes when she goes with him on sales trips. It's a neat trick! When he goes up to 3, door he opens his kit and there is Romona! She's playing it safe, I guess she has heard too much about these traveling sales- men! That beautiful blonde from Bashful Bend! Oh! this is 1970 isn't it? Anyway here comes Charlotte Spaulding with her soldier. He has spent the last 20 years in the army and now he is retiring so Char can soon have all the Wood she wants. Well, well. Here is that ardent fan of Trinity High School. You all know I mean the former Bev Bonser. Bev married Trinity's star basketball player in 1950. Notice Bev's stunning hair style. A crew cut! Remember how Bev adored crew cuts in high school. Well, she decided to start the fad among the fairer sex. Startling, to say the least. Take a look at the two little love birds who just came in. None other than the Professional Loafer Junior Coone and his Young wife. Corky Kafer appears on the scene! Corky has finished her course at Illinois Commerical College. She would like to divert a certain bachelor's attention from burlesque beauties to her own charming self. Paula Smith just about didn't make it to our gay party. Let's just be Frank about it. She was simply driving her new jet station wagon a little too fast and almost ended up in the morgue. And now last but not least through the door way steps Mr. Kenneth Kagel. Kenny is teaching the Eskimos to play the Hawaiian guitar and has consented to entertain us tonight. The clock is striking midnight and so all the old gang who were seniors in 1950 sing that old song Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot and this New Year's party really gets under way. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! Wife: I looked over the rest of the men at the party and I was so glad that I was married to you. Husband: Thanks, Sweetheart ! Wife: It's sucha comfort to know that you have a husband that no other woman will try to steal. Don C.: That's the most unkind remark I ever heard. Bill: What is? Don C.: I showed her one of my baby pictures with my father holding me on his knee, and she said, 'My who is the ventriloquist? But how did the police spot you in your woman's disguise? I passed a milliner's shop without looking in the window.
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