Hermon High School - Microphone Yearbook (Hermon, ME)

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Mr. Davis visited the Eighth Grade Science Class yesterday and lectured on Destructive Pests. A large num- ber were present. Daddy , asked Judy Tapley, look- ing up from the English composition she was writing, is water works one word, or is spelled with a hydrant? S. Burgess: Is Mrs. Myers hav- ing a class? J. Simpson: No, she is having second year typing. R. Doane : Doctor, my head is feel- ing like a lump of lead, my muscles cramp like iron bands, and my neck is as stiff as a pipe. Doctor: Good heavens, man ! you don’t need a doctor, you need a plumber! Mrs. Prescott, (to a young dinner guest): We are going to say a pray- er now, Bobby. Do you pray at meals at your house ? ’ B. Lindsey: Oh no. My mother’s a pretty good cook. P. Dorr: What is that which has never been felt, seen, or heard, never existed, and still has a name? M. Drew: I don’t know. P. Dorr Nothing. A laundress, annoyed by cars on a dusty road soiling her clean clothes, posted this sign on the road fifty yards ahead of her clothesline, DRIVE SLOW- LY : BIG WASHOUT AHEAD; Definition of a door: Something kids get a bang out of. Did you hear about the lad who shot his parents just so he could go to the orphan’s picnic? An Australian was trying to impress an American from Texas with the sights of Australia without much success. Finally when they saw a kangaroo hop- ping across a field, the Texan said, Well, I’ll grant you one thing: Your grasshoppers are a little larger than ours!! Impatient diner: Are you the girl who took my order? ’’ Waitress: Yes, sir. Impatient diner : I can’t believe it-you don’t look a day older. Glenn Duplisea studied one of the questions on the examination paper long and earnestly: State the number of tons of coal shipped out of the U. S. in any given year. Then his face brightened and he wrote : In 1492, none. P. Griffin: Is this a good river for fish? H. Freeman: It sure must be. I can’t get any to come out of it yet. Mrs. Lovely: Are you the boy who jumped into the river and saved my son? ’’ R. Simpson: Yes, Ma’am. Mrs. Lovely: Well, where are his mittens? ’ E. Lindsey: Did you have an in- teresting time at the dentist? R. Wilson: Goodness, no!! I was bored to tears. Lady: Are you really content to spend your time walking around the country, begging for a living? Tramp: No, lady. Many’s the time I’ve wished I had a car. Compliments of DEXTER’S MARKET Fancy Meats - Groceries Telephone 2-2269 20 Water Street Bangor The Watch Shop BOYD NOYES, INC. Jewelers and Diamond Merchants 25 Hammond Street Bangor 9

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J. Simpson: How did you find your steak, sir ? N. Reed: It was luck, I happened to move a piece of potato and there it was. The sergeant, an Air Force veteran, had been training the Air National Guard unit in the fall cold. They muffed every drill and finally the sarge halted them I At ease men, he said with forced calm, I want to tell you a little story. When I was a little boy 1 had a lot of wooden soldiers. Now and then I would lose some of them and I'd cry. My mother would say, Don't cry, son, some day you'll get all those wooden soldiers back againl At this point he exploded, And believe me, you wooden-headed idiots, he shouted, that day has come. Tramp at back door: Ma'am, 1 don't know where my next meal is coming from. Mrs. Roberts: Well, this is no information bureau. D. Robinson: (In chemistry class) Why does a traffic light turn red? R. Mullen: You'd turn red, too, if you chang ed in the middle of the street. G. Peavy: What did the Glow Worm say when the nightingale ate him up ? H. Bates: I don't know. G. Peavy: That's one time I was too bright for my own good. L. Nowell: Benny, what would you have if you crossed an onion and a potato? B. Lufkin: (After some time) An onion pota to? L. Nowell: No, a potato with runny eyes. Mrs. Myers: C. Pickard: Mrs. Myers: C. Pickard: 'Can you type? Well, I use the Lindburg method. 'What’s that? Circle and land. C. Tapley (to waitress): Do you have frog- legs? Waitress: No, it's rheumatism that makes me walk this way. Robert Goodspeed asked if anyone could give him the definition of a cow in General Science Class. D. McGinley was quick to reply, that she is an animal that has four walkers, four down hangers, two lookers, two crookers and a fly banger. At the Junior parish house dinner, Shirley Good- speed brought in a plate full of bread that was ex- tremely thin. Did you cut these, Miss Goodspeed? Yes, I cut them. She replied quickly. Good, said the patron, I'll shuffle and deal. Policeman: Young lady, why are you going so fast? R. Hillier: Well, my brakes don't work and I am hurrying home before I get in an accident. Mr. Bemiss took his three children to a basket- ball game this season. While the kids were there they hollered and hooted so loud that they couldn't talk for about two days. Someone asked him a little later, if he was going to take them again. No, he replied quickly, I'll take my wife. Ruth Campbell, after working extremely hard on a long typing assignment in which she was mak- ing more mistakes than usual, finally replied, Oh well, I didn't want to be a typist anyway 1 Compliments of JOHN PAUL COMPANY 55 Pickering Square, Bangor 8 BROCKWAYS FLOWER SHOPPE Central St. Bangor

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Sept. 9 - School began Oct. 27 - Freshman Reception Oct. 28 - First Term Ranks Nov. 13 - Round Robin at Newport Nov. 17 - First Game of Season Nov. 25 - Magazine Contest Movie - Mr. Smith goes to Washington