Hellgate High School - Halberd Yearbook (Missoula, MT)

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CLASS PROPHECY. Twenty years have passed into history since that memorable occasion in the year nineteen hundred thirteen, when thirty-six graduates of the Missoula High School were thrust upon society. They are now scattered to many parts of the earth and have met with varied successes. A few have acquired fame, others fortunes, and some have lived lives merely in simple usefulness and sobriety. There is one of whom we may well be proud to boast as a former classmate, the star of Grand Opera, Evalyn Thomas. In her high school days she was known about the country as the “Hellgate Canary.” Her present celebrity is the result of years of hard and faithful effort, not unmixed with decided natural ability. She has fulfilled the fondest hopes of her friends and of herself, and enjoys the distinction of being unrivalled in Europe and America. Two others of the class have reaped full sheaves of fame and fortune, but in a somewhat different branch of art. Florence Lebkicher and Bernice Berry, following the vocation which was always their ambition, have become prominent actresses on a vaudeville circuit. Their home is a palatial residence on a pea- nut farm in Louisiana, where they enjoy the privilege of mock- ing at the high cost of living. In the neighboring wild and woolly state of Texas resides very Skinny Simpson. Skinny, you will remember, even in his youthful years, revealed decided tendencies toward a career in the manly art. He has since developed his natural cleverness with his dukes, and has stowed away the best of them in the paper-weight class. At present he claims the honor of its un- disputed championship. In the line of politics, it has devolved upon a woman to bring us honor. Since the universal adoption of equal suffrage, Helen Long has become wonderfully active in governmental af- fairs. Only recently she gained a decided victory over her seem- ingly more brilliant opponent, Carroll Baker, in the congres- sional elections. The result was a surprise to all, as Mr. Baker is generally regarded as one of the most brilliant lawyers and politicians in the country. In a recent statement, Mr. Baker accredited his achievements to the benefits he derived as a mem- ber of the debating team of M. H. S. Perhaps this accounts also for the success of his team-mate, Stuart McHaffie. Stuart is undoubtedly the greatest orator since the Seventeenth century. His fiery tongue, coupled with a hypnotic personality, produces an effect which would have made Burke, Webster or Bryan green with envy. You may be somewhat surprised to learn of the fate of Henry Hayes. Henry is married. Furthermore, he enjoys the fortune of being the blushing bridegroom of Helen Shull. Some time ago they happened to be at Long Beach (previous to hitch- ing). Fate kindly provided a beautiful romance for the two, in which Henry heroically rescued his almost forgotten schoolmate from a terrible, watery grave. That was in 1928 (leap-year)— and so they were married. They are now enjoying a life of ease and comfort, thanks to Henry’s Opulence. —17—

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bequeath to Gertrude Farley the remnants of the sweaters she has worn out for him. Eleventh. Alberta Stone, does hereby bequeath to John McGough the peace and quietude of his assembly period, which she has always seen fit to destroy by her pranks . Twelfth. Florence Lebkicher does hereby bequeath her angelic beauty, and also her excellent dramatic ability, to Hazel Swearingen. Thirteenth. Paul Barden does hereby bequeath to Elna Peterson the good time he had on March twenty-first, and to the prophet of the Class of 1914. his keen and truthful insight into the future. Fourteenth. Myrtle Parmalee does hereby bequeath to Audrey Crabtree her knowledge concerning fungus, ferns, and such foolishness as taught by Miss Jamieson. Fifteenth. Miss Evalyn Thomas does hereby bequeath to the darkness many empty cases of that which “Made Milwaukee Famous,” and to Eva Vandorn, her captivating ways. Sixteenth. Everett McSpadden, that honest and upright treasurer of the Senior Class, does hereby bequeath to sweet memories the good times he has had at the expense of the Class of 1913. Seventeenth. Ruth Woodford, the charming little prima donna, does hereby bequeath her fiery tongue and cutting sar- casm to Miss James, to be used by her in subduing some of her rebellious Latians. Eighteenth. Helen Shull does hereby bequeath to the Alumni the hard time she has had in gathering their addresses for the Annual. Nineteenth. Foster Cox does hereby bequeath his vast knowledge of Nothing and the Land of Nowhere to Lawton Beckwith. Twentieth: Bernice Berry does hereby bequeath to the Honorable Doctor T. Roy Hazelrigg her vast induced knowledge of the realm of Electricity. Twenty-first. Mr. Francis Hiram Simpson does hereby be- queath his title. Lord Simple Simon, to Leo Morgan. Twenty-second. Burk Allen, our most excellent artist, does hereby bequeath to the rubbish pile his seal for the Bitter Root Annual. Twenty-third. Jay Duquette does hereby bequeath to Wesley Williams, his great size and strength. Twenty-fourth. Harold Jones does hereby bequeath to all those herein mentioned, the many sleepless nights, much worry, and the high bills for the so-called Midnight Oil, with the hopes they will be pleased with at least having been mentioned. We name as executors of this Will, Carrollins Cassius Julius Baker and the Lord of Esterfield, Everett McSpadden, as they are old enough to understand such things as Wills, and as they expect to be here long enough to see that it is properly carried out. In Witness WMiereof, we have set our hand and seal this twentv-eighth dav of May, nineteen hundred and thirteen. (Signed) ' CLASS OF 1913. Harold Jones, Administrator. —16—

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A year or so ago I happened to be in a little town in south- ern Colorado, and, wanting for amusement, I attended a circus billed for that afternoon. And as I sat on the hot benches list- lessly gazing at the performance, I was surprised and inexpress- ibly delighted to recognize, in the person of an antic clown, no other than Jay Duquette. I hesitated to believe my eyes; but I was positive that it was he,—I would have recognized his hide hanging upon a pole. After the show I revealed myself to him, and for the rest of the afternoon we .swapped reminiscences. He told me of a few of our graduates of whom I had lost track. Burke Allen, he said, had applied for work in the circus, but soon left to begin the study of theology, which seemed to be his inevitable fate. At the time I received the information, he was pastor of a church in a little negro village in the South. Upon my inquiry concerning Foster Cox I was pleased to hear that the old boy was doing well. He was employed by the Hinds Co., peddling their patented face cream. Then Jay produced from an inner pocket a business card which, he informed me, the owner gave him in Kansas City. On it was printed: “Lawton A. Beckwith, Expert Chiropodist.”—I asked no questions. Speaking of such a pitiable circumstance reminds me of the sad fate of our esteemed class president, Alice Boles. The stu- pendous responsibilities connected with her official position, especially her duties in the chair, weighed upon her mind until she lost entirely the use of her mentality. Year in and year out she sits with a copy of Howe’s Handbook of Parliamentary Usage continually before her, poring over its pages. You remember Everett McSpadden,—Mac is conducting a vigorous campaign against the present system of education and the housefly. He declares that they are evils of the same class and should be exterminated. With him, among those who possess marked tendencies of initiative, I would mention our alumni in England, Irene Seifert, Myrtle Parmalee, and Lenore Hemmick. They are devoting their entire lives and energies in the hopeless cause of militant suffragism—militant in its extreme literal sense. Indeed, they have become well known as a result of their spectacular antics. But of the class in general we may well be proud. One of the most noted essayists of the present day is Elizabeth Hershey. Her works are to be seen in all the current, periodical literature, and in a recent number of Life she cleverly discusses the leading question of the hour, “Who put the Ham on Hamlet?” Less than five years after Ernest Prescott started on the path of life, he made a wonderful invention which assured him a place in the annals of scientific history. By it he was awarded the great Noble prize for that year. The invention, itself, is a small, complicated device which he is pleased to call a “potato- bug extirpator.” You have undoubtedly heard of the famous Italian artist, Spiget. Lilian Longfelt is his model, and has, indirectly, been an important factor in the winning of his fame. Spiget’s repro- ductions of her likeness are to be seen in every art collection and j yen.pld M. H. S. owns one as a souvenir in her memory. In the natural course of human events, we would expect at —18— rr-