Hebbardsville High School - Varsity Yearbook (Hebbardsville, KY)

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JOKES An old doctor examined his patient and coldly said to him: You are dying, sir, have you any wish to express before you pass over the river?” Yes”, said the patient feebly, I wish I had employed another doctor.” Anthony: Grandpa, what’s an heirloom?” Grandpa: Why that’s something handed down from father to son.” Anthony: That’s a funny name to call my pants.” The first day Mr. Ramsey came to Heb- bardsville he was stopped by a man. The man said, Hey didn’t you see the sign that said, 'Slow’?” Mr. Ramsey: Yes, but I thought it was describing the town.” Mr. Sharp: Joe Priest, tell me which month has twenty days in it?” Joe Priest: They all have.” Mr. Galloway: Harold, please correct this sentence: 'Girls is naturally better looking than boys’.” Harold: I'd say, 'Girls is artificially bet- ter looking than boys'.” Mr. Powell: Irvin, what is your father’s occupation?” Irvin: He don’t occupate.” Mr. Powell: Well, what does he do for a living?” Irvin: He breathes, of course.” Miss Royster asked Paul Walden to make a sentence using the word analyze” and an- atomy”. Paul submitted this: My analyze over the ocean, My analyze over the sea. Oh, who will go over the ocean and bring back my anatomy?” One night after practicing basketball yells Walker Knight was getting ready for bed, his mother told him to say his prayers, kneeling down, he said: Bless Pa, Bless Ma, Bless Hebbardsville, rah, rah, rah!” Milton How’ard, who is about six feet two inches, applied for a job as a life guard. Can you swim?” asked the officer. No, but I can wade to beat the devil.” Joe said to Mary Martin: We would make a good match.” Mary Martin, Yes, every time we get to- gether we explode.” Mr. Sharp: Waiter, half an hour ago I ordered some lamb chops. Have you for- gotten them, or have 1 had them?” Sig: Man, why in the world do you wear such loud socks?” Gabby: Oh, to keep my feet awake. I hate to have them going to sleep during school hours.” Ben: How long could a man like me live without brains?” Bubby: Time will tell.” Mrs. Farley: Juanita, why don’t you be- lieve Jonah was inside the whale for three days and three nights?” Juanita: ’Cause he didn’t bring back any movie travel pictures of it.” Charlie: You know that in the spring a young man’s fancy turns to love?” Vivian: Yes, but it's not spring.” Charlie: Yes, but how about having a rehearsal?” Thomas: Yes, sir, I believe in fighting an enemy with his own weapons.” Billy: Is that right? Well, how would you sting a wasp?”

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CLASS PROPHECY One afternoon last week as I was strolling across the back of the plantation enjoying the lazy May sunshine I came upon the negro quarters. Old Aunt Mary was sitting in the cool shade of a large oak tree. Aunt Mary was a great lover of cards, and she was shuffling through the deck as 1 came upon her. After some persuasion she consented to teach me her art of fortune telling with cards. Since it was so close to graduation, I was curious to find what the future had in store for each of my classmates. I started out with Dorothy Ball: Dorothy, you surely have been wishing a lot. At last your wish comes true. 1 see you piloting a great airliner for the Southeastern Lines carrying the president to Hot Springs for his annual visit. Jean added a ray of sunshine with her singing to the environment of the leading shoe store in town. Marie no longer has to look over the fence, instead, with less trouble she can look across the breakfast table with a smile radiating joy and happiness. Mildred, usually science is a man’s job, but I saw you as a big contributing influence in the success of one of our leading scientists. Irvin, the cards reveal your accepting a three year contract with Kay Kyscr’s band. Congratulations! Edward can no longer be called the small fry of his class because I saw him as a manager of a large western ranch, and in the evening when the moon was beginning to rise, I could hear the faint strains of a guitar coming through the nights breeze. Good luck, Bubbic. 1 shuffled the cards well since I was coming to Charlie but they would not lie. Charlie had taken over the janitorship of the school and was patiently waiting for a certain underclassman to graduate. The cards seemed to radiate happiness when 1 came to Jack Gilmore. They passed lightly through my hands for they pictured a happy Gilmore family located on the largest farm in this section. I expected Lulu to go higher, but never did 1 expect her to leave ground. The cards told me that she was one of the most charming hostesses on the Trans-Atlantic Clipper. I was curious to find out whether our class predictions for Marilyn would always come true. Sure enough they will, Marilyn, for the cards told me that in addition to being a house- wife you would be an operator of a large beauty salon. W. D. Reach, the cards offer a relief from this long time weighing of meat and handling of cans at the Red Front Store. You have become manager of a large chain of groceries in the East. As we shuffled the cards a smile came across Aunt Mary’s face for she heard the voice of Christine rise and expand as she called her other half from work. The New York Yankees are sure to come back in first place this season, because I saw Jimmie Newman signing a fat contract of $7S,000 as pitcher. As I dealt from the top of the deck, I heard the roar of a bus, and as the picture came in view, I saw a huge bus terminal. The bus was just pulling away and standing on the curb overseeing the job was none other than our tall and handsome Jimmy Nunley. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the city of Henderson had become a beautiful residential suburb of Evansville, and operating in this section one of the largest dining rooms was Clarice Reeder. Admiral Kimmcl only paved the way for naval fame for Henderson, for the cards fore- tell the entire Pacific fleet under the command of Raymond Sigler. We have all enjoyed teasing W. D. Staples about his loafing, but as I sec it through the cards the spending of leisure time on nail kegs on store porches has afforded opportunity for numerous inventions and discoveries, in addition to his advice to the oncoming generations in his new book entitled How to Use Your Leisure Time” or If You Can’t Find Anything to do, Just Sit Down.” After a thorough and final shuffling to make sure they would reveal the truth, I began to unfold the future of Joe Priest. It was late fall, and Joe was riding high on his recent victory as prosecuting attorney for the state, and above the chatter I heard his voice reply in a Wilkie- like fashion, Yes, 1 shall still find time to visit my farms in Henderson County.”

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