Hartt College of Music - Allegro Yearbook (West Hartford, CT)

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! I S I N N 5 54 5 i

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PROGRESS? TIME: 1973 A.K. fAfter Krenkj PLACE: Musicopolis, Utopia fMusicians Improvisitory Centrej EVENT: Inspection Day A twenty-four staved building. Over the main entrance the words, UMUSICIANS' IMPROVISITORY CENTRE, and in the shield below, the motto, uAn improvised . . . . . 97 Musician IS a Good Musician . . . 'cmade to order. This is the annual inspection day at the Centre, and the Musicians' State Conductor, His Krenkship, Arno Roscoe Safran will check the factory for any consonances in the Opus production of the predestined, decanted and improvised musicians and singers. The Centre is staffed by the highest-order type of G Cleff workers, each with his individual opus number, headed by the Concert-scheister, Clem Gebo, who nervously awaits his Krenkships cue. A soliloquizing hum of activity fills the atmosphere of the Centre which is filled with the highest-order type of synthetic music from the ether music boxes behind the indirect lighting tubes. c'Blunder in G flat minor by Gil Perlroth is playing softly in the background, creating a leading-tone feeling of anticipation. Down in the basement staff is the singers Decanting room, where three large test tubes, labeled Moody, Mattingly, Michalaros and Miron, are being pre-destined, and their contents improvised upon with various musical effects including open- throat tones, epiglottis attacks and flat notes. On the rack beside them, three other tubes are being individually conditioned: the Golden tube has been suspended for two weeks in the bell of a Martino tuba. The Sinagulia solution mixed with stars and roses, while Hope Haley, already decanted, rests quietly beside hypnopaedic recordings of Aida and Madam Butterfly. Upstairs, in the woodwind improvising rooms, the clarinet section of test tubes are being exposed to a 440 A by whistling Sid Cohen, the kid of the F Clef Class who is Chief Pitch of the Centre. The solutions are being stirred carefully by automatic plastic reed mixers for the exaggeration of future reed problems. The tube labeled DiMinno is being rapidly rotated and conditioned for allegro passages, the Tanguay solution heated for appasionata Sections.