Hart High School - Hartian Yearbook (Hart, MI)

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LITERARY COLUMN The following satires were written by the Spectator Club of the English Literature Class. There were many other notable themes written by this club, but, alas, our space is limited. If you desire to know who wrote the various Spectator papers published here, ask Ye Editor of this column: MANNERS IN THE HALL I should like to say a few words about manners in the hall. Of course I realize that there is little need of doing so, for we are intelligent people and profess to know a great deal. But for the sake of spending a few minutes, I will jot down a few everyday occurrences, showing what charming manners most of our students have. As an illustration, I am going to take Joe, who is a very likeable chap, whom all of the boys envy and try to imitate. He has a little system all of his own when he thinks he is going to be late for arithmetic class, which is downstairs. He has discovered that it saves one-half the time by merely sliding down the banister, pushing all those in front of him out of the way, and rushing into the classroom. If this saves time, why not advocate it for others? Joe has been blessed with a very strong and loud voice by which he can save time by yelling across the hall for any information he wants. He has prided himself on being the first out of the building every noon. “Any way goes—push ’em, knock ’em” is his motto. They say that he was formerly of a school which had a fire on the average of one a month. Well, I have told you only a few facts about Joe, but I think that you can see my point and agree with me that our students conduct themselves admirably and have charming manners. MANNERS AT HIGH SCHOOL DANCES Dances are so enjoyed by practically all that I think it would be well to mention the excellent manners displayed at that time. First of all, in order to have a dance there must be an orchestra. If it arrives late it is made the object of many oft-quoted remarks, being very appropriate, never realizing the timepieces might be different or that they had a flat tire. Most people like to have their favorite pieces played so they are constantly asking for a tango at the same time another asks for a waltz. Sometimes the orchestra fills both requests. Upon their arrival, the girls and boys go to their respective corners so as to make it more convenient for all concerned to look the bunch over. Upon decision the boys suddenly think they are at a square dance and advance in an even row towards the girls. Then in their best manners they say, “How about boxing this round with me?” If his opponent wins and starts another round with someone else, he, seeing two girls dancing together, with an “enie, menie, minie, mo, up to Mary he did go,” leaves Gracie stranded in the middle of the floor. The participants in the match have all very obligingly eaten no supper so as not to slight the refresh- BOYS’ BASKETBALL. Hart has prospects of a good basketball team this season. Our new coach, Laurence Decker, has been working with the boys for quite a while. Coach Decker has been coaching for three years: two years at Bridgman and one year at Fennville. Out of these three years he has had two championship teams. With these facts in mind, the Hart basketball boys are working hard to develop a winning team. We have four veterans from last year: Palen, Lombard, Slocum and Reed. There are also a number of reserves who will undoubtedly make the team this year. These are Berger, Blackmer, R. Tate, M Tate, Purdy and Welsh. Hart’s schedule is as follows : December 6—Scottville .. December 13—Whitehall Dec. 20—Ludington .... January 7—Montague .... January 10—Fremont .... January 14—Shelby .... January 17 ........... January 21 ........... January 24—Montague .. January 31—Whitehall .. February 4—Custer .... February 11—Pentwater February 14—Shelby ... February 21—Fremont .. ...........There ............Here ....There ............Here ............Here ....There ..Scottville—Here Pentwater—Here ...........There ...........There ............Here ...........There ............Here ...........There ments, and when the committee finally gets around, they are nearly frantic with hunger and mumble a “thank you” in between mouthfuls. When the gong rings and the dance is over they declare up and down that their watches are not slow and that the danced stopped too early. With that they leave the building grumbling, but are cheered up by the girls, who are perhaps glad it’s over with, as I suspect the boys also feel. IN STUDY HALL THIRD PERIOD In study hall third period the seventh grade girls practice Communism while doing their arithmetic assigned to Mr. Benjamins. Each one helps the other in securing an A ?n that very difficult subject. In the back seats of the first four rows the dear little frosh males entertain their lady friends by making odd noises in the intricate way of snapping their rulers against their desks. The lazy Seniors, who ought to behave themselves after six years (or more) of attending study hall and who ought to set an example for the verdant underclassmen, amuse themselves by attacking their more studious colleagues with paper wads, shot at intervals of one every two minutes. The two-minute intervals are used up in looking innocent when the person in charge of the study hall toddles around to see who or what is causing the untimely disturbance. A great urge to speak with one’s most intimate friend comes upon all of the students, and, one right after (Concluded on Page 9) PAGE 7

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What is the vice president’s salary? The vice president of the United States receives a salary of $15,000 a year. Why were the natives of America called Indians? The aborigines of America were called Indians or Indios by Columbus because he thought by sailing west he had reached India. Q. Why is Illinois called the “Sucker State.” A. Because in the early days the miners returned from “up-river” at the season when the sucker migrated. The term was first used about 1833. • • • Why does the mercury rise on a clear day and fall on a cloudy day? The atmospheric pressure is greater on a clear day. Moisture is lighter than the air and decreases the atmospheric pressure. What does Hallelujah mean? “Hallelujah,” or “Halleluiah” as it is sometimes spelled, literally means “Praise ye Ja,” “Jah” being a variation of the Hebrew word “Jehovah.” A song or exclamation of gratitude or praise to God is called a hallelujah. How is Shelley’s middle name pronounced? The middle name of Percy Bysshe Shelly, the famous English poet, is correctly pronounced “bish.” It is an old English family name. One of the most noted members of the family was Sir Edward Bysshe, who died in 1679. • • Q. What was “The Kitchen Cabinet”? A. The nickname was given to a small coterie of five intimate friends of President Jackson, who were thought to influence him more than the members of his official cabinet. They were Duff Green, the editor of the United States Telegraph; Francis P. Blair, the editor of the Washington Globe, and William B. Lewis, Isaac Hill and Amos Kendall, who occupied minor positions in the Treasury Department. They were especially powerful in directing the President’s attack against the United States Bank. Who was Betty Zane ? Elizabeth or Betty Zane was a young girl living at Wheeling in what is now West Virginia when that place was attacked by Simon Girty and 500 Indians in 1777. The girl volunteered to go out from the stockade in which the settlers had taken refuge and bring in a keg of powder known to be in one of the houses at some distance. She performed the feat under Indian fire but escaped unharmed. She was related to Ebenezer Zane, one of the founders of Zanesville, Ohio, and an ancestor of Zane Grey, the popular novelist. Instructor (to Mary Jean D., learning to drive): “Now, when you want to stop, you must put on the brake.” Mary Jean : “Oh! Why, I thought the brake came with the car.” Arthur Harris: “Was your barn burned during the cyclone?” Goyt Reed: “I dunno. I ain’t found it yet.” Mrs. Corbin: “Hm! Funny pudding, this!” Nancy: “Yes, that’s as far as I got with the recipe when the radio broke down.” You remember when you cured my rheumatism a couple of years ago, Doc?” asked Perry Slocum, “and you told me that I should avoid dampness?” “Yes, that’s right,” replied the doctor. “Well, I’ve come to ask you if I can take a bath.” » Frank Demmon: “Shall we waltz?” Clara Baker: “It’s all the same to me.” Franklin: “Yes, I’ve noticed that.” Mr. Olendorf: “Give me a ticket to Springfield.” Clerk: “Which one? Ohio, Illinois, Massachusetts, Missouri or Kentucky?” Mr. Olendorf: “Which is the cheapest?” Mr. Cowles: “Yep, I hed a beard like yours once, and when I realized how it made me look, I cut it off, b’gosh.” Mr. Decker: “Wal—I hed a face like yours once, and when I realized thet I couldn't cut it off, I grew this beard, by heck.” Laurence L.: “So you’ve quit smoking because of your doctor’s orders?” Bob B.: “Yes, he says the cigarettes on the sidewalks all have germs on them.” Marguerite Winget (in antique shop): “And here, I suppose, is another of the horrible portraits you call ‘art’.” “Excuse me, madam,” said the shopkeeper quietly, “but that’s a mirror.” » Stranger: “Tell me, have any big men been born in this city?” Jack Corbin: “Nope, only babies.” » ’ Little Jane Davidson found a button in her salad. She remarked, “I suppose it fell off while the salad was dressing.” PAGE 6

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THE CROSS ON THE MOON The village was set high on a tiny thread of a road winding across the face of a great ledge. The houses looked like so many leeches clinging desperately to safety. Far below ran the great tides of the Bay of Fundy. A fishing hamlet, full of men who went to sea and left their families behind them for days, weeks and sometimes half of the year. At Christmas time many of the men were home. They tried to be, for the sake of the children. But on Christmas eve Silas Bent bowed his great shaggy head under the low door of the post office and declared to the several men who were standing about in groups that he must go out to gather in his nets. “Hate to do it,” he mumbled in his slow, easy voice; “my wife wanted me to stay home and help trim the tree and do up presents for the kids. I promised her I would, too. But I can see a storm brewin’, and I thought Fd better take a run out and save my bait. It's all fresh, and 1 don’t hanker about losin’ it.” “I’ll go with ye,” offered a gruff voice from the shadows. “I don’t mind goin’ out just because it’s Christmas eve.” There was something scoffing in the one—a note of amused bitterness. “All this Christmas fuss and fury don’t mean nuthin’ to me. Just a lot of danged nonsense, I call it.” There was a moment of surprised silence. Several faces, yellow in the glare of the kerosene lamp, thrust forward out of the smoky darkness. “What ails ye, Bill?” asked a man, leaning on the counter. “Ain’t ye kinda glad to be ashore Christmas time with your folks?” “The folks is all right,” grumbled the voice, “but I'm blasted if I see any use turning the town topsy-turvy over a bit of tinsel, a tin horn and an evergreen tree dragged out of the woods where it belongs.” Silas Bent allowed this argument to pass. I’ll be glad of your help. Bill,” he said, quietly. “I’m goin’ down to the wharf now to push off. We’ll be back in a couple of hours.” “Want any one else?” volunteered another voice. “I don’t mind goin’ out, and ye might git back sooner if ye had more help.” A True Christmas Story By Patience Eden “Thanks,” said Silas. “I’d be obliged if you would.” The three men left the post office and went with few words down the steep path to the wharf. There they climbed into a motor boat and pushed off. Soon they were running steadily out into the bay. It was a dark night with flying clouds. The w'ater was smooth save for a heavy swell. Now and then a star gleamed through the ragged edge of a cloud, and then was instantly lost. The dreary voice of the automatic buoy floated across the bay—rising and falling in a long, penetrating moan. The motor boat was but a speck on that vast, moving expanse of water. The men talked among themselves. Bits of holiday preparation at home; mention of mince pies ranged in rows on the pantry shelves, a trip to the nearest town to buy toys for the children. Their voices betrayed an almost childish interest, poorly concealed by a casual manner. “All rot,” said Bill. “Just a time for store keepers to make more money, and for women folk to git all tired out and cross tryin’ to do housework and make presents, too. Wish there wa’nt no Christmas!” “Why, Bill,” remonstrated Silas. “Don’t ye be talkin’ that way. It ain’t quite right, seems though. Christmas is more than a tree and presents. I kinda like . . .” he hesitated shyly, “I kinda like to think of that first Christmas eve and the shepherds, and the sheep. Must have been wonderful to look up and see that star.” Bill grunted. “I don’t believe it,” he said deliberately. “I think it’s a put-up job by the ministers to fool the people.” “See here, Bill,” asked Silas anxiously, “aren’t ye feelin’ well? You don’t talk natural.” “I’m well enough,” returned the man, “but I’m sick of the whole fussin’, an’ I—” he paused and shaded his eyes with his hands. “Look!” he said sharply. “Do you see what I do?” His finger pointed up at the moon, now suddenly revealed. The other men followed his command. The clouds had parted as if torn with a giant wrench. Between them the moon shone, serene, untroubled; and beyond the full curve of its circumference there protruded the four silver ends of a cross. It was plain for all to see. The light streamed forth from that shining emblem as if it were being poured out of heaven itself. The clouds remained parted. The cross gained in distinctness and fiery intensity. The men watched spell-bound and could say no word. “It is God’s signal for the right course,” whispered Silas and did not know that he had spoken. Bill had bowed his head on his hands. “I can’t stand it!” he whispered. Back on shore the fishermen cautiously asked several people if they had seen anything queer about the moon that night, but no one had noticed. Yet every one in town remarked on the humbleness of Bill, how he worked to help with the Christmas tree in Sunday school and what a strange look came into his face when he was questioned about his sudden devotion to holiday Good Will. But the three men never told what they saw that night out on the water. It stayed a secret and sacred bond among them. -----------o----------— “Silent Night, Holy Night” “Silent Night, Holy Night,” is said to have originated in a little Bavarian village some time during the eighteenth century. This is among the most loved songs of Christmas time. -----------o----------— A children's hospital of the University of Iowa not only permits its young patients to use sling shots but encourages target practice. PAGE 8