Harrisburg Township High School - Keystone Yearbook (Harrisburg, IL)

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Th Dust Pan VOLUME I Harrisburg, Ill., June 10, 1928 NUMBER 1 Miss Longbons tin physicsjz Now Hay- ward. give me an example of wasted en- ergy. Hayward Lewis tafter deep thoughtiz Well-telling a hair raising story to a bald-headed man I guess. Dale Wilson: Have you ever taken quinine 7 Elmo Wiggins: No, who teaches it? Jack Jackson. Have you ever seen Scott's Waverly Novels? Andrew Young: No, but I've taken Scott's Emulsion. Robbie Heaton: You would be an ex- cellent dancer but for two things. Robert Jackson teagerlylz And what are those things ? Robbie: Your feet. Miss Pemberton tin English, 3rd hourl: Is this rightal have et? Harry Kirkham: No. Miss Pemberton: What is wrong with it ? Harry: You ain't et yet. Blanche Hancock: What caused those holes in that fence 7 Ethel Reigel: Those are knot holes. Blanche. Why, I know better, They are holes. Lewis Fulkerson: I've crossed all of my hens with parrots. Mr. Kruger: What on earth made you do that 7 Lewis: Well, now when a hen lays an egg instead of cackling she comes up to me and says, 'Lewis, I've laid an egg. Go get it'. Frederickl said Mrs. Wunderlick, I am afraid you went to sleep during the sermon. Yes, mother, replied Freddy. but when it started I was afraid I was not go- ing to. Lina Martin: Gee, it must be awful to be as tall as you. Wilma Melvin tangrilyjz Is that so? Well, at any rate you must look up to me ' while I can look down on you. Vivian Randolph: Gee, if Shakespeare were alive today. he would be looked upon as a remarkable man, wouldn't he? LaVern Sloan: Sure, he would be over 300 years old. A startling accusation has recently been made by a few jealous members of the senior girls. The accusation is that Opal Walden, the senior Piifl with the 10112 tresses, wears her hair long only to at- tract the attention of the males. Our Opal denies this. It does look rather sus- picious. Millie Sutton, the small girl of the senior class has a very promising future. The field she is to be successful in is the sly stenographeru field which is a ate- nographer that the boss' wife knows noth- ing of. The reason of the coming success is her smallness. When the boss' wifey comes around she may easily be hidden in a desk drawer, waste basket or such and all is well. Another joke which makes all sides ache: William Hoover. That'a a new one one me. said the dog, as he scratched his ear. Vil'Qil Lambert bays mathematics is dif- ficult to understand, but women are even lTl0l'E so. For instance: they may say yes and mean no , or they may say UO and mean Y9s . So you are always kept guessing. Jane Johnston ton approaching the school libraryl: What a sad, sad room. Fern Johnson. Why? Because there are panes in the windows? Jane: No. because the books are in tiers. In a preceding: issue of the Dust Pan it was stated that it was issued spasmod- ically. Clyde Baumgardner, near editor. has been visited by another spasm and hence this issue. He offers it to you with his best wishes for aching sides when you have Finished reading it. Officer tangrilyl: Don't you see that sign, 'Fine for Parking'. Lacey Barger: Oh yes sir, I was just taking advantage of it. Many of us have wondered what the M in Mr. Nolen's name stands for. It stands for Moses. Every time he opens his mouth the bull rushes. The following story is told of Scott Lin- enbach: One day he a package of The grocer He stood a I don't believe I want this. Gimme a box of candy. The change was made. Scott started out of the store. Hey, shouted the grocer. yOu havent paid me for that. Why, I gave you the chewing cum for it walked into a store. Gimme chewing gum. complied. minute with this, then said. . Yes, but you didn't Day for it. l Well didn't you get it back 7 and with that he left the store. Fat Cornick: Why doesn't that baby talk 7 Strother Reed: Why. you bin dumbbell he's too small. Fat: Aw, you can't kid me. I read in the Bible that Job cursed the day he was horn. Lives of football stars remind us YVe must Fight to win the race. And departing leave behind us Footprints on our opponent's face. Mrs. Taylor: How many fish did you catch yesterday, Harry. Mr. Taylor: Four, and every one H beauty. XVHY STUDY The more you study The more you learn: The more you learn The more you forget: The more you forget The less you know. XVhy Study? The less you study The less you learn: The less you learn The less you know: The less you know The less you forget: The less you forget The more you know. XVhy Study Z' 95 Mah Bredrenf' said the Parson, yo Wants to be ready to jump when yo heahs tiabrial blow dat horn. NFO' H001-ll'16'SS sake. murmured Bob Clilybrooks, Am he a comin' in 'er auty- mobeeI? Miss Sanders: If a square doesn't seem square to you, what's wrong? Virnil. You must have had a drink. Ray Braddock: If Santa Claus and Lind- bergh were fiying in an aeroplane from the North Pole to the South Pole, who would get there first 7 Ossie Bond: Both, .Ray: 'Naw', Lindbergh would, there ain't no Santa Claus. Mr. Taylor: Experience is the only teacher that doesn't complain about her small salary. Dot Belt: Is that your boy friend out there on the football team ? Nelle Chunn: No, that's the football team on my boy friend. Lett: Have you heard Ossie's latest lazy song? Dot: NO. Lett: Moon Beams Kiss Her For Me. Fat Miller. Don't count your chickens before they are hatched. Strut Fulkerson: Don't enumerate vour poultry until the process of incubation has consummated. Lacy Barger: Refrain from calculating upon the quantity of juvenile poultry prior to the completion of the entire process of incubation. Grace Zvara: Do you know the differ- ence between smile? Dale Wilson: come off and your complexion will. my complekion and my Sure: your smile won't Mr. Kruger was showing an agriculture class through a hatchery. Isn't it queer how the chicks get out of the shell, he said. Yes , spoke up a freshman, but what I don't see is how the chickens get in there. The reason Philip Box-a-cheese is known as a. great electrician in Galatia is be- cause everything he has is charged. Miss Kellams in sixth hour freshman Enulish: A novelette is a short tale. Make me a sentence with it Floyd. Floyd: The dog: ran down the road with a tin can tied to his novelettef' Bob Jackson: When I no to college I expect to make a living by writing. Gordon Mcfiehee: XVritin5: what Y Bob: NVriting father. Bob Fox: What would you do if you saw a battle ship coming: over that hill? Lard Moore. I'd quit drinking. Joe Woodrutf: I just cot an exam paper hack. How much do you think I made T NYilliam Hoover: 0h! about half. Joe: Half of what 7 XVilliam: Half of what you say. Mr. Small: What will be the prevail- ing color in men's coats this year? Mr. Nolen: Blonde and brunettes as usual.

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THE DUST PAN Ray: YYhat is your daily income? Clyde: Oh, about 3 A. Lacey: And did her dad come between l you T Strut: No, behind me. Juliet. You are the light of my life. Mother: Juliet, come to bed and put out that light. Polly House: Doc acted as if he wanted to kiss me this morning. My, I never ran so fast in all my life. Marjorie Hutton: Did you catch him ? Graduate from cooking class: I want some meat for dinner. What kind have you ? Grocer: 'Mutton. pork and chicken. Graduate from C.: I guess I'll take chicken. Grocer: Do you want a pullet'? G. C. C.: No, I'll carry it. Miss Longbons was exitlaining a Physics problem: Now you see, she said. if one man can do a piece of work in five days then five men can do the same work in one day. Vfard Ozment: Then if one ship can cross the ocean in ten days then ten ships can cross it in one day and I don't be- lieve that. Gordon Gard was asked to write up a party for the Purple Clarion. The re- port he turned in was careless and poor. Miss Pemberton called him to her room: Look here Gordon, she said. what do you mean by this 'among the most beauti- ful girls present was Professor Henry Simpson', you know Mr. Simpson is one of our teachers. I can't help that, returned Peachie , but that was where he was at. Lard Moore: Many a man's a dude before he marries. Mr. Lappin: Yes, and after he marries, he's subdued. Glen A.: I had a fall last night that rendered me unconscious for several hours. Virgil: Howzzat? Glen: I fell asleep. Leo Morris: They say Miss Johnson has not slept for ten days. Mason Bond: My goodness, she must be getting sleepy. Leo: Nawl she sleeps at night. Strut Fulkerson: I had a rooster named Robinson. I killed him the other da:-'. Lacey Barger: XVhy did you do that? Strut: Because Robinson Crusoe. Mr. Kruger: VVhen is the best time to pick apples 7 Harold Stein labsent mindedlylz When the farmer isn't looking. Charles McKenzie: I have a cousin who didn't eat in New York for six weeks. Bozy : Gosh! he must have been hun- gry. Charles: Naw! he was in Chicago then. A freshman: At what age does a sane man generally marry? Mr. Small: At no age. A freshman was watching Mr. Goben rewind the clock in the old assembly. Mr, Goben: This clock runs eight days without winding. r'reshie: Gee! how long would it run if you wound it? Mr. Doolittle: VVhich marry first, light headed men or dark headed 7 Mr. Simpson: The light headed ones, of course. A freshie: Is football an American game? Soph: No, it's a rushin' tRussianJ. Ray Braddock: What is the height of fashion today? Doc Ozment: Slightly above the knees. Holly Wrork: Have you ever seen that girl before? Leo Morris: 0ften. Holly: But have you ever noticed any- thing amusing about her? Leo: Well, I've seen you with her a few times. Miss Longbons: What is a balloon? Leslie Thompson: A lot of wind with a boy around it. A minister met Mr. Ledford ta Rotari- anj on the street: I hear you have been in jail. he said. VVell yes. it's true. On what charge 7 WVell you see, the Rotarians were hav- ing a father and son week. I was trying to be a pal to Loy Lee. VVhat were the charges? I asked. Mr. Ledford: Disorderly conduct. Robbie Heaton's war cry: Two arms, two arms, fall in. Juliet: Father you should have told me you painted the seat under the tree yonder: last nicht when Ray and I sat on it Ray :rot paint on his trousers. 1 r V Leo Morris tin Historyj: If it had not been for George Washington We would not have had Lincoln. Red Dixon : Yes but if it had not been for Lincoln, Washington would have been the father of twins. Grocer: Here's your fly thing else? paper, any- Harry Garnett: Yassuh. ah six raisins. Grocer: Do you mean six Harry. Nah, Suh, 'bout six wants about pounds ? raisins, just enough for decoysf' Emma Miller: Sir, I've kissed! never been Fred. Wunderlich: You tell a Grimm Story, girl. VVhen a woman gets too fat to get into a telephone both. there's no use talking. Harry Hart: Say, Bob, I know more than you do. Bob Jackson: Yeah, you know me, and I know you. Mr. Bonnell Carl Hagler: Mr. Taylor: the Hour. What is a scale? Why, a freckle on a fish. Hey there, don't. spit on Hank Utter: S'matter. Does it leak? Ruby Beam : When one gets sick, it'B usually some weak part of the body that's attacked first. Frank Miley: Why certainly-that's why you're always having headaches. Mr, Taylor: Do you take the daily paper? I Homer Smith: Yes, when no one is looking. ' Mr. Small: Do you feel like a sand- I wich ? 1 l I l Miss Cain lindignantlyiz And do 1 look like one? James Chaney: It's no use talking to a fool. Olan Archer: Well I wasn't talking to you. A freshmen: Gimme a pound of oys- ters. Grocer: My boy, we Bell Oysters by measure not by the weight. Freshie: Gimme a yard then. , -if n A j 147 X 5 I Q on W cg, ,Ls :fa .,,,4 X It 1 -6 uf X W- iw A ' H 4 .d . , ,,,,, . ' f' w f YV - 5-vis. rf if 1 l ., 4 L f 06