Harrisburg Township High School - Keystone Yearbook (Harrisburg, IL)

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Th Dust Pan VOLUME I Harrisburg, Ill., June 10, 1928 NUMBER 1 Miss Longbons tin physicsjz Now Hay- ward. give me an example of wasted en- ergy. Hayward Lewis tafter deep thoughtiz Well-telling a hair raising story to a bald-headed man I guess. Dale Wilson: Have you ever taken quinine 7 Elmo Wiggins: No, who teaches it? Jack Jackson. Have you ever seen Scott's Waverly Novels? Andrew Young: No, but I've taken Scott's Emulsion. Robbie Heaton: You would be an ex- cellent dancer but for two things. Robert Jackson teagerlylz And what are those things ? Robbie: Your feet. Miss Pemberton tin English, 3rd hourl: Is this rightal have et? Harry Kirkham: No. Miss Pemberton: What is wrong with it ? Harry: You ain't et yet. Blanche Hancock: What caused those holes in that fence 7 Ethel Reigel: Those are knot holes. Blanche. Why, I know better, They are holes. Lewis Fulkerson: I've crossed all of my hens with parrots. Mr. Kruger: What on earth made you do that 7 Lewis: Well, now when a hen lays an egg instead of cackling she comes up to me and says, 'Lewis, I've laid an egg. Go get it'. Frederickl said Mrs. Wunderlick, I am afraid you went to sleep during the sermon. Yes, mother, replied Freddy. but when it started I was afraid I was not go- ing to. Lina Martin: Gee, it must be awful to be as tall as you. Wilma Melvin tangrilyjz Is that so? Well, at any rate you must look up to me ' while I can look down on you. Vivian Randolph: Gee, if Shakespeare were alive today. he would be looked upon as a remarkable man, wouldn't he? LaVern Sloan: Sure, he would be over 300 years old. A startling accusation has recently been made by a few jealous members of the senior girls. The accusation is that Opal Walden, the senior Piifl with the 10112 tresses, wears her hair long only to at- tract the attention of the males. Our Opal denies this. It does look rather sus- picious. Millie Sutton, the small girl of the senior class has a very promising future. The field she is to be successful in is the sly stenographeru field which is a ate- nographer that the boss' wife knows noth- ing of. The reason of the coming success is her smallness. When the boss' wifey comes around she may easily be hidden in a desk drawer, waste basket or such and all is well. Another joke which makes all sides ache: William Hoover. That'a a new one one me. said the dog, as he scratched his ear. Vil'Qil Lambert bays mathematics is dif- ficult to understand, but women are even lTl0l'E so. For instance: they may say yes and mean no , or they may say UO and mean Y9s . So you are always kept guessing. Jane Johnston ton approaching the school libraryl: What a sad, sad room. Fern Johnson. Why? Because there are panes in the windows? Jane: No. because the books are in tiers. In a preceding: issue of the Dust Pan it was stated that it was issued spasmod- ically. Clyde Baumgardner, near editor. has been visited by another spasm and hence this issue. He offers it to you with his best wishes for aching sides when you have Finished reading it. Officer tangrilyl: Don't you see that sign, 'Fine for Parking'. Lacey Barger: Oh yes sir, I was just taking advantage of it. Many of us have wondered what the M in Mr. Nolen's name stands for. It stands for Moses. Every time he opens his mouth the bull rushes. The following story is told of Scott Lin- enbach: One day he a package of The grocer He stood a I don't believe I want this. Gimme a box of candy. The change was made. Scott started out of the store. Hey, shouted the grocer. yOu havent paid me for that. Why, I gave you the chewing cum for it walked into a store. Gimme chewing gum. complied. minute with this, then said. . Yes, but you didn't Day for it. l Well didn't you get it back 7 and with that he left the store. Fat Cornick: Why doesn't that baby talk 7 Strother Reed: Why. you bin dumbbell he's too small. Fat: Aw, you can't kid me. I read in the Bible that Job cursed the day he was horn. Lives of football stars remind us YVe must Fight to win the race. And departing leave behind us Footprints on our opponent's face. Mrs. Taylor: How many fish did you catch yesterday, Harry. Mr. Taylor: Four, and every one H beauty. XVHY STUDY The more you study The more you learn: The more you learn The more you forget: The more you forget The less you know. XVhy Study? The less you study The less you learn: The less you learn The less you know: The less you know The less you forget: The less you forget The more you know. XVhy Study Z' 95 Mah Bredrenf' said the Parson, yo Wants to be ready to jump when yo heahs tiabrial blow dat horn. NFO' H001-ll'16'SS sake. murmured Bob Clilybrooks, Am he a comin' in 'er auty- mobeeI? Miss Sanders: If a square doesn't seem square to you, what's wrong? Virnil. You must have had a drink. Ray Braddock: If Santa Claus and Lind- bergh were fiying in an aeroplane from the North Pole to the South Pole, who would get there first 7 Ossie Bond: Both, .Ray: 'Naw', Lindbergh would, there ain't no Santa Claus. Mr. Taylor: Experience is the only teacher that doesn't complain about her small salary. Dot Belt: Is that your boy friend out there on the football team ? Nelle Chunn: No, that's the football team on my boy friend. Lett: Have you heard Ossie's latest lazy song? Dot: NO. Lett: Moon Beams Kiss Her For Me. Fat Miller. Don't count your chickens before they are hatched. Strut Fulkerson: Don't enumerate vour poultry until the process of incubation has consummated. Lacy Barger: Refrain from calculating upon the quantity of juvenile poultry prior to the completion of the entire process of incubation. Grace Zvara: Do you know the differ- ence between smile? Dale Wilson: come off and your complexion will. my complekion and my Sure: your smile won't Mr. Kruger was showing an agriculture class through a hatchery. Isn't it queer how the chicks get out of the shell, he said. Yes , spoke up a freshman, but what I don't see is how the chickens get in there. The reason Philip Box-a-cheese is known as a. great electrician in Galatia is be- cause everything he has is charged. Miss Kellams in sixth hour freshman Enulish: A novelette is a short tale. Make me a sentence with it Floyd. Floyd: The dog: ran down the road with a tin can tied to his novelettef' Bob Jackson: When I no to college I expect to make a living by writing. Gordon Mcfiehee: XVritin5: what Y Bob: NVriting father. Bob Fox: What would you do if you saw a battle ship coming: over that hill? Lard Moore. I'd quit drinking. Joe Woodrutf: I just cot an exam paper hack. How much do you think I made T NYilliam Hoover: 0h! about half. Joe: Half of what 7 XVilliam: Half of what you say. Mr. Small: What will be the prevail- ing color in men's coats this year? Mr. Nolen: Blonde and brunettes as usual.

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THE PURPLE CLARION Mr. Fredrick Christman a re- nowned scholar and chemist of the present age has just announced that he has compounded a new chemical mixture that is said to replace homely looks with charm- ing beauty. He says that this is absolutely certain as he has tried it on Mason Bond. And he adds If this compound will replace Masons looks with beauty, it can- not fail to do the same for any per- son upon the face of the earth. Lee Gibbons, the noted African explorer has added another tiger to his list of big game. While ex- ploring a remote jungle of Africa he ran across this fierce beast. Through his etforts to escape he ran the poor tiger to death. He is very proud of this animal. It is to be stuffed and placed in the new 1948 H. T. H. S. Mary Utter has just realized her highest ambition. She has at last married a rich New York Broker. He is no other than our friend Har- old Stein now Duke Stein of New York. He has amassed quite a fortune selling peanut stretchers. Lucille Golden has been awarded the prize for the only girl remain- ing on earth with long, curly hair. The exclusive style of 1948 is pa- tent leather wigs patented and sold by lthe firm of Boatright and Boat- rig t. While spending the week end at Miami Beach, Florida, Barbara Butner was asked to demonstrate 'Pop Guns magic mud. She is to receive 525,000 for the first demonstration. She, and her friend Virginia Ragsdale, who is also va- cationing at the beach are expect- .ng to enter the National contest held at this place. Esther Shavitz is featuring as a dumbbell for Gene Tunny who is working out for his next fight with Jack Sharkey. She is thankful now to Miss Thompson for her words in the H. T. H. S. gym. She advis- es all girls in high school to take ' .ip some kind of athletics. Dayton McCormick Returns Dayton McCormick, the propri- etor of a local beauty parlor, has returned from a three months tour of the Hawaiian Islands. Mr. Mc- Cormick will re-enter his trade of marcelling. 1 Wanted: Bright young man to ' work in drug store. Must have ex- perience in this line. For the right person this is a chance for future ,partnership in this store. Inter- view will be given Saturday morn- ing. See Blueford Hetherington a: lOwl Drug Store. 1 1 State Experiment Farm Changes Managership Reports were received yesterday that the Illinois Experiment Farm trustees, of which Stanley Lozosky is president, have signed a contract with Mr. William Endsley to man- age the farm for the next five years. Mr. Endsley is a Well known authority on scientific farming. He was formerly at Purdue. Many City Licenses Issued County clerk, Helen Ingram in- formed the CLARION reporter that over 13 odd auto licenses have been issued to Harrisburg car owners during this year. The number 13000 was declined by Marie Jones Who has a horror of anything connected with the number 13. Dathol Chester has completed a new hair dye. It colors the hair any shade desired, mostly red. The success of this new development was first illustrated on her own head. Chalton Sullivan, the local oil Nmagnate has been arrested for ad- ding water to his gasoline. This accounts for the unsatisfactory re- sult the users of this gas have been i having. The sentence was to serve ,four weeks on detention in the H. 1 T. H. S. as he did of old in '28. ii , f 1. :al2ii2l11f,1 Q jg 1:3 i 7 A- rf f 'vimffi 1 - I X XN 1' 1 I i 1 11 EI ! 1 1 in n ... fl I W - 1 i W x ' i I y 1 1 1 i i I i I 1 A v , l Q cg 1 X- l 1 N i . sf-so i I l I i 'ff 1 1 fi' 1 1 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 I 1 if as A-s 1 1 1' 1 ll! 'atikglm ff 1 I ll 1 1 1 I ss 31 me--2. Illini: 1 1 -f ff.. . v. aaviifi X .. '9 ' ' 4 ' fflgxs fy S , fl!! -vu ' rs.-ara ', 1 f f f M , -1 1.1 4 ' I , l Cm I H17 i ri X -Vw., .t ,way f-LUNM5 XVVYE l7'l!'7 l70lfi U4

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