Harpers Ferry (LSD 49) - Naval Cruise Book

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I Mlssn imihissuiijj: WIr-ii ihc capl;iin cxprcsscil a ilcsiic tn sical ihc IJSS ri.i;Vi;i.ANI)sK-l()vctlmasa.l.llic(hicfWaln ) ( Icvclaiul Indians llag. ihc rest of the c«)intTiand ijiiakcd in their bKK)ts. Ihal is, except for five brave souls. Undaunted in the face ot certain danger. LTJG Kazlauskas. I.UCi linioney. I-NS Kcrsh. 1:NS (liannotti and MW2 Novak set forth December 23rd on their quest for the Ht)ly Grail. With help from a helicopter, they paid a visit to the ( l.ti Vhl.AND under the guise of singing Christmas carols. And carol they did. Yet. this band of rebels proceeded to .iccomplish the impossible, not only taking the flag but mailing it from tiic .Stcamin Cleve ' s post office! I CM das s later. Chief Wahoo w as welcomed aboard the IIARPHR.S IHRRY. where he enjoyed our hospitality for t)ver two months. Ofcourse. the CLEVELAND did everything they could to get the flag back, including using a group of Navy SEALS io kidnap our Operations Officer. Yet. their eltorts prosed fruitless. Fortunately for the CLEVELAND, the friendly game of I ' ve got your flag and sou II never get it back was scjuashed b a higher authority. The poem written here is HARPERS FERRY ' s response to a threatening p em written by USS CLEVELAND. w I -Ri: si: si (, (OLD hostujty S W i: HIM) TOWARDS THI. SAG , .,r,h rahwnOulf, I ROM (). i: smrs iSAimin iO (iLAKI) THEIR PRECIOi ' S FLAG i h Mill Ht rr lure. ' Chief W ' cihon enjii a Intle urne nff m A ' BIT LET US SOT FORGET THE (.R II VOL R OHJE(T OF OliSESSIOS VOL I.O ED SO ML C HLT SOMEHOW TAILED TO KEEP L YOLR POSSESSIOS OH- WAHOO IS ADJl S C WELL AM) l)OES L WA TO LEA E TO REEL R TO HIS l ' RI A TE HELL ESDI RED OSBOARD THE CLEVE II ES MISGLED WITH THE KESYASS AM) HEES OS SAFARIS TOO HE ' S SEES A LOT OF MOSKEYS THAT REMISDED III M OF ) OF W APOLOGIZE FOR ALE THOSE SIGHTS YOl CRIED YOl RSFI.F TO SLEEP WHILE WAHOO PAR TIED KESYA-STYEE YOL SAILED THE OCEAN DEEP TTDIDS ' T TAKE A SEAL TEAM JLSTA IIASDFL I OF JOES TO STEAL YOL R SILLY WAHOO Ol T FROM L SDERSEATH ) Ol R SOSE A SI) THEN YOi SESDAS IDLE THREAT PRFTESDISL. TH T YOl RF TOLC.H DID YOF THISK WED HRFAK A SWEAT WITH All ) Ol R SENSELESS ELFEE: ' YOL COULDN ' T SOLVE THE CRIME I 7 ME COMIiIMM, l I YOFR OODLFS YOl R li Rh IS LOl D- )Ol R lilTF IS SOFT LIKE I.TTTLE AS(.R) POODIFS HE ' S SIPPED A LITTLE TUSKER ASD HE ' S SI SHATHFD IS THE SA D GRA TEE I I. TO HE RFSCl ED FROM )Ol R I DFSFR l (, H D HI T HOSTAGES W III I ' ) THEIR PRICE WHETHER OR OT THE) RE ABLE ASD SO HE Dl TIFl I.I.Y I A YS ACROSS THE WARDROOM TABLE CONTENT I HIS SUBSERVIENCE HE CATCHES ll OUR CRUMBS WHILE YOl STILL POSDFR RECOMPENSE SITTIS(, I ro )Ol R LIH MHS ASD SO W Ell C,l F )Ol OSE MORE CHASCE BF( l SF WERE HERE TO W R YA SI RRF DFR OW OR )Ol WO TSEE W HOO III I ( l II ORM . ESn»AC J9W-W 53

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' ' The Shot Heard ' Round Mackay- Harpers Ferry Defeats Magpies 1-0. No multor where oil travel, iheres mi belter a to bridge the eullural gap than through the medium ol sport. Case in point: 1 walk and ani attacked by mobs of people, each trying to explain why I need a four foot tall wooden giraffe. Do I run ' Am I frightened . ' Hal I simply reach into m back- down the beach in Mombasa pack and unveil a shinv soccer hall. Suddenly, the beach shops close down and soccer pandemonium ensues- it ' s just that easy. Harpers Ferry was lucky to have so many soccer players on hoard that w if ' m !tMl i T irJ pi.A. ;„ p -m s m . fielding a quality team was relatively easy. It began in Singapore, with an ARC soccer tournament. From there, a select team was put together. In February, our team was challenged to a match bv the Ken van Navy. Despite boasting an international mix of players from Jamaica. Nigeria. .Argentina. Russia. Mexico and the U.S.. Harpers Ferry succumbed to 90 degree heat and a last minute goal by the feisty Kenyans to kise 4-.V kiep llw soccer team Irani ii iinnip phnio w nil ilic Kiinmi hahoons could ii Rifilil- The Wild Russian : Complete wiih his Iniitle face paint, our goalie. LCPLSchlxapinlokl]. enjoys a colli one with a player from the Australian team. Both were selected as Men oj the Match for their perfornuinces. tint I mini wi (( ' I iiiiiininyii i I il liillipil 1 1 i I llu . llsMi . hi -III I, illll s n isi ,i Jul li ' li ( frinhleninn creature on the rii;hl. who has probably iven many Australian children nii;liiiiii 1 1 is actually a fiiani Magpie mascot. •: is.s harp(:r.s FtRRY (L,s|}-4 ;) The game itself was interesting and featured two goals by SN Daniel Udoh, but the highlight came even before kickoff. when we chased about fifty baboons off the field during i)ur warm-up. Hearing about our team, Australia decided that they vv anted a piece of the action. So, three months later we were in the land Down Under- this time under stadium lights at the Magpies Sporting Club. In a defensive battle, we topped the Aussies I -0 on a . O-yard free kick midway through the second half. When the final whistle blew, the dejected crowd was stunned, their cheerleaders were crying, and Harpers Ferry soccer hooligans were dancing in the streets '

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I W(H;IS IX) SHKIJJtilCKS Aiaarrrggghh, maleysl Stii er iiic limbers! When you talk about he equator, sailors making their first deployment tend to get a ittle squeamish- and rightrully so. There is. perhaps, no more humbling experience than participating in a Crossing the Line ceremony as a Slimy Wog. Yet. this is a deep-rooted tradition, and the pain and endurance tests that used to take place in prior centuries have given way to a raw egg in the pants kind of humor. As with any sacred ceremony, the secrets that surround initiation cannot be divulged in a publication as unworthy as this one. and so those pollywogs seeking forehand kni) ledge of u hat awaits them will be sorely disappointed. However, a close inspection of the ship may re eal items that u ent unnoticed amidst the mayhem and ensuing cleanup, such as an occasional stalactite t)f crusted ma onnaise hanging from a pipe. It is these gnarley reminders that bring back memories of a day too putrid to forget! riic Hull Technicians did cui inipirssivc joh iransfonnini; tin inick iiinnci iniit a mine-filled pool. I: (JMSS BUuL and the U(;,i, ' ,i;i7 t .• , sinauiK nir Javorile c()iUenip(iiar i ( All of the Nav Admin wogs had to wear rubber ducks around their necks. Another exclusive Hard Copy siory: I hey treated us liki iJuiey Jones, aku HIClSWi linu Caniplull ii;i,l ,i ,lr, l.ualiun to the slinix u r-vv cattle! says one slimy wo . 54 US.S HARPERS FERRY (IJiIJ-4y)