Harper College - Halcyon Yearbook (Palatine, IL)

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I R M IH tgii i 1 K xii f gf xv ff , If BELIEVE IVIE, KID, IT'S NOT I-IOVV BIG IT IS, BUT I-IOVV YOU USE IT THAT COUNTS

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lt's really much more than a matter of who does the dishes, and who lights whose cigarette. The liberation of the sexes holds the promise of devastating change, ranging from altered self-images to a vast redefini- tion of the family structure. Men and women are being handed a package of fresh roles. Suddenly, woman's future and poten- tial lies in places other than her uterus, man is no longer limited by a strangling sense of machismo. Finally, a hypocritical and treacherous double-standard is being dis- carded, replaced by a realistic, uncom- promising honesty and a new sense of humannood. How can these changes become instig- ated?Largely by looking at oneself and investigating some arbitrary condition- ing- that concerning the mystiques of marriage, masculinity, and femininity. Unfortunatly, mariage is all too often viewed as a cure-all for personality defects, a refuge from loneliness, an instantaneous key to lifelong happiness. Burdened by such awesome over-expectations, one out of three marriages ends in divorce. And of the two remaining, only one is considered a happy and functional marriage. Perhaps such poor odds are in part attributable to men's and women's conflicting views of marriage. Marriage is only an aspect of men's lives.They must also be concerned with the business of earning a living, of actualizing their selves in the variety of spheres open to them. Marriage, though, serves as the very core of most women's lives. Their status is denoted by that of their husbands. Their Great Divide By: Brenda Libman lives are lived out through their children. They adjust to an image that halts their growth. Their housework expands to fill the time available-and is glorified as a woman's true profession. The bearing of children is hyped as the ultimate act of fulfillment. A woman's meaning begins and ends within a tight, nuclear family situation. She is limited by a conditioned sense of acceptance and passivity, and a suffocating lack of options. It appears obvious that The American Way of marriage and the family is not functioning at an optimal level. A happy family is more often the exception rather than the rule. Perhaps a factor in this disruption between the cultural ideal and real is the limited, centric notion of the one right way. The American middle- class marriage is dictated to by a lengthy set of sanctions and proscriptions. While providing a predictable framework these narrow provisions limit the amount of growth that may be experienced through exploring other options and new forms. The traditional framework may well be enhanced and expanded, through redefini- tions, reevaluations and individual modification. Options, comments and re- thoughts will be explored through a delineation of the American marital stan- dards. The be marriedu is often stated by women as an essential goal. Training for future motherhood is begun in early child- hood, whereas a male is skewerdly directed toward exploring aspects of his masculinity and emerging self. While most men expect to find themselves eventually married, they 39