Harper College - Halcyon Yearbook (Palatine, IL)

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at his modest abode and demanded an explanation. You're giving the building inspectors' department a bad name, they said. Every- one expects inspectors to take bribes but you haven't taken a single one. But that's not true. l've taken lots of bribes, Ethos insisted. Then why hasn't anyone seen you? they demanded. Because I am very cautious, Ethos ex- plained. Here, let me show you. He dropped a small leather sack of coins on the floor. Then he stooped down and stood up again, almost in the same movement. Ah ha! exclamed one of the delegates. lt's still there. Ethos nudged the empty sack with his foot to indicate that he had made a switch. But the delegates went away, struck with awe, muttering to themselves, and believ- ing that Ethos had somehow gotten the coins out and left the sack on the floor. A few days later, orders came from the top that Ethos was to spend some of his bribe money in a conspicuous way so as to restore the people's confidence in their pub- lic officials. Ethos lost no time in having a fine new house built for him and his family Then he rented his old house to three families of wandering gypsies. Ethos' reward was swift and immediate. He was assigned to inspect the reconstruc- tion of the harbor while another inspector was given the thankless task of inspecting the Parthenon's decoration, a job that would take at least another five years. At this point, Ethos blends slowly into the background amid the admiration of everyone, including the party faithful and the general populace. The Parthenon's new inspector hurried right over to collect his first payoff. But the chief engineer, think- ing he was an inspector of the old school, offered him a sack of money right out there in front of everyone. He indignantly spurn- ed the sack and said, Certainly not. After all, l have my Ethos, too. His point was well taken and, from then on, all his bribes were offered in secret. He was followed by a host of public servants who also had their Ethos. And it didn't take ethics, that branch of philosophy that de- mands that a person be honest enough to take his bribes in such a way so as not to outrage the public dignity. 'IF LJ 23

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bribes in front of an audience. l've got my standing in the community to consider. You have absolutely no finesse, at all, Ethos said. Now, Toss that sack of money into the excavation. Puzzled, the engineer did as he was directed. Then, in a loud voice, Ethos announced, Very well. Ethos went down into the excavation and made a great deal of fuss in his inspec- tion. He went all around the foundation, taking the minutest detail under his scru- tiny. When he came to the place where the sack of money rested, he stooped down to study the fit of two blocks of marble and, in the same motion, he scooped up the sack was gone. The inspection continued for a few more minutes, then Ethos emerged from the excavation and, patting the engineer on the shoulder, he said, You've done an excell- ent job fitting those marble blocks together I dare say, this foundation might well last longer than five thousand years. Too bad you didn't go down deep enough to rest it on bedrock. What do you mean we didn't hit bed- rock?', the engineer demanded. Dig down two feet anywhere in Greece and you hit bedrock. I guess I know bedrock when I see it, Ethos hautily replied. And I didn't see any bedrock down there. But l'Il be back in two weeks. And I'll bet you find bedrock by then. He patted his tunic to make the coins jingle. Two weeks later, Ethos arrived at the construction site right on schedule. The chief engineer greeted him cordially and led him to the excavation where he said, I'm sure you'll find that we've struck bedrock. And in only two short weeks. That must be a record. We shall see, Ethos replied as he made his way down into the excavation. He went all around the foundation, as before, in- specting as he went. And, sure enough, half way around he found bedrock waiting for him in a leather sack. In one slick mo- tion he scooped it up and replaced it with 22 the empty sack from the time before. He was the first grafter in history to return the empty sack. When Ethos came up from the excava- tion this time, a small crowd had gathered. What are all these people doing here? he asked the chief engineer. Surely, they're not all construction workers. No, the engineer replied, They're administrative officials who've come to see how you operate. Word got around about your unusual methods and even I don't know how you operate. By the way, did you find the. . . uh. . . bedrock? Yes, of course. Right where you said it would be, Ethos answered. Keep up the work. Ethos passed through the crowd on his way from the site and he couldn't help overhearing the mumblings of the people. Did you see him take his bribe? No, I didn't see him. Neither did I. He's a real expert, that one. We could all take a lesson from him. I don't believe he even took a bribe. He's probably as honest as the day. An honest inspector? Why, that's the most disgusting thingl ever heard of. Every time he came to make an inspec- tion, the crowds grew larger, Ethos' fame having spread even farther and faster than that of Paragoric, a renowned Greek philos- opher of the period. A barricade had to be constructed to keep the crowds in check and Ethos inspected that at the usual fee Needless to say, the barricade passed inspec- tion with no trouble ard no one managed to see Ethos pick up his bribe, and the ru- mor began to circulate that he was honest. The Parthenon was nine years in the building and, in all that time, no one had ever seen Ethos actually take a bribe, which was positively unheard of. He had never missed a scheduled inspection, yet, he had had cleverly concealed his taking of the little sacks of money. Then, one day,a delegation from party headquarters arrived

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By: Rich Robey Tlze Squirrel 's Bark Wlzen snow hisses down from the Paradise Mill in a soft tenor To wet and fold the woods witlz grace, tlze autunzn squirrel stops from dodging To seek an UADCII plain and bark a prayer for heaven sweeter than a nut, Before returning to a hungry peace in nested hollows. When an evening snow lzisses down from the Paradise Mill Through grey clouds To moist and cool tlze burning matter of Man, and tlze evergreen bows Like a nodding gentleman against the window his white rainmant of hair Forgiving even to the pane, The time has come For the yellow-fingered traveler wlzo muses out the pane from a brass and leather eoffined ehair And sends his thoughts to stalk In lung clutched reverie Among the brown trees, To turn and seek an open plain and tlzere gun down the squirrels bark, That godless presence of death, Then drop his l1unter's gun And walk in red silence Aeross the snowy wilderness 2-1 By: Rich Robey Soul Spider Web of my body, Black air between threads, I fear for your Tonight the spider crawls on flesh Tonight the spider crosses flesh. Soul spider, slzape to the infinity 1 reach You shape is grief My heart will Cease, Who will rip it from my chest Who burv it What fingers dig it up And plant it in the sky? My mind treads steel-blue beams Only in darkness, Through weaving dreams. Web of my body, Black air between threads, I fear for you: Tonight the spider crawls on flesh Tonight the spider crosses flesh.