Hampton Roads Academy - Log Yearbook (Newport News, VA)

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WILLIAM HART WOODSON GEORGE DOUGLAS WISE 17

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RONALD CROCKER SMEDER KATE TOWNSEND PETER JOSEPH WILLETTS ROGER LEE WILLIAMS

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It is 1975. This is LEE WILLIAMS from Station WHRA in Gloucester, Va. We now take you to Cape Kennedy where we are about to witness an event of national importance: the launching of the first woman astronette to the moon, Miss KIM MITCHELL. We see that she is ready to blast off, sprawled in her lounge chair designed by H. LEROSS BROWNE, one who knows. The crowd is gathering to see this scientific achievement accomplished by the renowned astro- physicist, RON SMEDER. Among the crowd we recognize our own MARY LOU AMES and JUDY MOORMAN, co-governors of Gloucester, the newly-admitted fifty-first state, made possible through the efforts of the President of the United States, WOODLAND WARD ANDERSON, HI. Miss Ames and Miss Moorman are only two of the guests of honor at today ' s launching. Standing by the rocket trying to break up a feud between CLAUDIA JORDAN and DAVID BLOUNT, this year ' s Perfect Couple U.S.A. is GEORGE OR- PHANIDYS, who is directing and overseeing this spectacular moon program. There seems to be some commotion on the other side of the field. DAVID BOWDITCH is marching in protest flaunting a sign: Use your natural ability: Let ' s walk! Screeching up beside him is MARGA BUNCH in her 1975 Ford Cobra, lined with solid gold yellow slips. Another demonstration is going on nearby, led by GEORGE WISE, grand astro-dragon of his newly formed clan, a society formed for the prevention of polluted popsicles on the moon. Adding to the general confusion is the arrival of billionaire ROSS MIRMELSTEIN, who has just purchased the Los Angeles Ball Club. With Ross is Sandy Koufax, Jr. and Miss SUSAN DOWNING, the first woman vice-president. Coming up behind them is DAVID DUNCAN, Ross ' s choice for manager of his ball club. Not far from this crowd is a re- served section for more of our world- renowned guests. Here is Miss GERTRUDE BALTES, authoress of the best-seller, 101 WAYS TO CHEAT AT FIELD HOCKEY. Seated next to her we see the world ' s greatest theologian of our time, STANLEY GLASOFER. He has just created a new world religion in which he is the only man and the rest of the con- gregation is comprised of his feminine followers. On his right are Miss PAMELA BROWN, who has revolutionized the teaching of the first grade with her astrovision show, Romper Boom, and Miss DIANA HOLT, president of HRA Hockey Stick, Inc. We here at WHRA are a little concerned about a small quarrel that has been instigated amid the protests formerly mentioned. VICTOR HERNANDEZ, the writer-director of the latest movie- thriller, 007 1 2, and his good-guy star spy CALDWELL (Bond) CHALLONER, are humiliated because they were not invited to sit in the reserved section. But wait! Put all feuds aside! This is the moment we have been waiting for ! PETER WILLETS, the world ' s most solemn philosopher, is about to speak. He points his finger high, past the launching pad, and we see the football which was passed out of the stadium last week by all-star back MAURICE McDOUGAL. But we again lower our eyes to the ceremony as MICHAEL JONES strikes up his jazz-combo and President Anderson jets up to the podium. Just as he is about to deliver his speech, we hear a great guffaw from the far end of the Cape. Who should appear but JAMES RATLIFF, who has been stricken with double pneumonia for the sixteenth time. He is considered a scientific wonder in the medical journals and is never without his private physician, DR. LAURA SIEGEL, who is at this moment trying to quiet the patient. However, before the speech is resumed, there seems to be something down on the beach which has attracted the crowd ' s attention. I think it is that famous pair of beach-combers, DEBORAH MOUNTJOY and WILLIAM WOODSON, in the midst of an astro-argument. But, things seem to be calming down now and I see that Debbie has gone in for a swim. What is that emerging beside her? Why, it ' s Moby KATE TOWNSEND, and just in time for the launching! 5-4-3-2-1-0! This is WHRA, signing off with good tidings for you and good luck for all those who follow.