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Page 31 text:
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Mis Rogers: — Can you serve company?” Estoria May: — “Yes’m. Either way.” Miss Rogers: — “Either way?” Estoria May: — “Yes’m. So’s they’ll come again, or so’s they won’t.” Russell White: — “I heard a new one yesterday. I wonder if I told it to you?” Helen Natkin: — “Is it funny?” Russell White:— “Yes.” Helen Natkin: — “Then you haven’t.” Gerty H.: — “Why, in my town, the people are so rich the horses have checks.” Helen: — “That’s nothing, in my town the people are so wealthy they wash their dishes in Gold Dust.” “I hear she only has hair on one side of her head.” “No foolin!” Yeah, on the outside.” Hilton Benninghoff: — “What are you doing with your socks on wrong side out?” Manford Worley: — “My feet got hot and I turned the hose on them.” Roadside Gipsy: — “I am a seer. I can see far ahead.” Mr. Holloway: — “Do you see any parking space?” Eleanor: — “I hear your boy friend wants to settle down and get a home.” Gerty: — “Well, he’s got a good start; I gave him the gate last night.” Bob Moseley (At 11 P. M.) :— Did you know I could imitate any bird you can name?” Hazel Blair: — “No, I didn’t. Can you imitate a homing pigeon.” Mr. Cooper: — “Remember the lazy bully who, when he felt tired would order the timid soul to punch him- self in the nose?” Mr. Fuller: — “That’s nothing. I read of a mother today who, when her little boy wouldn’t be good, lifted her head from her couch and said: Willie, go to the vibrator and give yourself a good shaking.” Mr. Hovey’s favorite wisecrack to the band: — “Well, I’m going to let you out early the rest of this week. And a ” Miss Eastwood asked the girls in Business Ethics to keep track of the sleep they got each nigh t for a week. The last day we added it up and after school Helen Jabaay said: “Hey, Gerty, how many hours of sleep did you get in Business Ethics this week?” Hilton Benninghoff: — “May I hold your hand?” Ruth Fess: — “It isn’t heavy; I can manage, thank you.” Mr. Cromwell: — “Johnny, you may tell us how many are two and two.” Johnny G.: — Two and two are four.” Mr. Cromwell: — “That ' s very good, Johnny.” Johnny G.: — “Good! That’s perfect!” Words of Wisdom: — • Many a boy would make an excellent dancer if he would learn to stand on his own feet. Thelma: — “I’m afraid you can’t wait very well, Bill.” Bill : — “No, darling but I surely can intermission.” Never tell an Englishman a joke on Saturday night because he’s liable to laugh out loud in church Sunday morning. Miss Richman: — “What sort of people do you have in your advisory?” Walter Schmal: — “Scotch.” (Trying to sell Annuals.) Mrs. Benson: — “My husband went to church this morning.” Mrs. Upson: — “My husband’s Sunday paper didn’t come either.” Prospective Employer: — “What can you do, boy? John McGroarty : — “Anything, Sir.” Prospective Employer: — Can you wheel a barrow full of smoke?” John McGroarty: — Certainly, sir, if you will fill it.” Alma Midget, on her first visit to a ranch: — “What is that coil of rope for?” Cowboy: — “That rope, lady, is used for catching cattle and horses.” Alma: — “O-oh! and what do you use for bait?” President Tact’s great bulk — he weighed more than three hundred pounds — provoked much good- natured jesting among his friends which he enjoyed to the fullest extent. While he was President he often went horse-back riding in RockCreek Park. Returning one morning after an invigorating canter he sent this message to his friend, Elihu Root, “Just returned from horseback ride and am feeling fine.” Back came the answer, “How is the horse?” On another occasion when President Taft was in swimming at Oyster Bay, the small son of a dear friend asked if he might also go in bath- ing. “Not just now,” replied his father. “President Taft is using the ocean.” Twenty Five
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