Hammond Central School - Spotlight Yearbook (Hammond, NY)

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Jerry Folsom owns and operates a mirror outlet store in Canton, saying, “I just can’t see enough of myself.” Tina Wolfe is the editor of the Watertown Daily Times and told me, “I can voice my opinion now without anyone arguing with me.” Andrew Alberry has found a cure for baldness but insisted he didn’t do it. Stephen Bariteau is now a member of the Boston Philharmonic and has released a solo album, “Saturday Night Bariteau.” Bruce Grundmann and Gary Angel are Co-Owners of Angel-Mann Service Center. Their slogan is, “It may take us ten times to get it right, but we’re cheap.” Karen Youngs has replaced Mrs. Phillips as Mr. Scofield’s secretary and enjoys going to the office without being sent there. Sharon Barley and Marcia Youngs are nurses at the L.A. Trauma Center and are stand-bys for Suzanne Somers and Heather Locklear. Trina Closs and Amy Neuroth are the co-producers of the soap opera hit, “As Hammond Central Turns.” Amy was quoted as saying, “It’s about time someone wrote about the good things that hap- pen in the American school system.” 1 was surprised to hear that Cindy Boland took over Danny Burgess’s place as the weather lady at WWNY T.V. She said there is no need for Mr. Scofield to call in Hammond’s school closings because she knows when it is going to snow before he does. Carolyn Rogers is a door-to-door salesman selling stereos. She said, “If I can sell Walkmans in Ham- mond, I can sell stereos in California.” I was sorry that Senator Stoddard couldn’t attend the reunion, but Mr. Scofield explained the Senator was recovering from surgery to remove the brown from his nose, a disease he contracted in high school. I hope you are as impressed as I am with the class’s progress in life. I must sign off and prepare myself for first period Social Studies 11.1 have the Class of 1984’s kids in this class. Sincerely, Mark J. Balzer

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THE WORLD ACCORDING TO BALZER June 22, 2009 Dear Mrs. Friedrich, Last night I attended the class of 1984’s twenty-fifth class reunion and I enjoyed hearing about the kids’ achievements in life. It was a joy to hear the kids’ accomplishments and here is how they all turned out. Chris DiTrinco is now the proud owner of Turner Inn, specializing in DiTrinco Daiquiri. I asked her how she was able to purchase the bar and she replied, “By investing every Friday and Saturday night.” Phillip Rutherford owns and operates a successful computer dating service with his wife RXD20. Their motto is, “It’s never too late. Let us find you a date.” Tina Drake was the first woman astronaut to step on Mars, but she’s confused with all the attention given to her. I agree with her reasoning as she says, “I’ve been in space all of my life.” Margo Hollister is an accomplished author having written the best-seller, “Valley Girl Jargon,” and said, “Well, you know, like, it’s just a book.” Bill Hollister has finally moved out of his house and now resides in Ogdensburg. I asked him why he moved and he said, “I just couldn’t live on my allowance of $250.00 a week!” Paul Langtry is the game warden of Chippewa Bay and is pushing for year around duck hunting, saying, “They kill cows year around.” Michelle Charlebois won $50,000 in the Kellogg Corn Flakes breakfast slogan contest. Her slogan was, “I’m a flake, you’re a flake, wouldn’t you like to be a flake, too?” Beverly Johnson inherited the Hammond Phone Company, and her only complaint is, “There are too many phone calls every day.” Scot and James Rupert are rock promoters and have an exclusive contract with the Hammond Stu- dent Council Music Service. 30

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The Juniors on the big night. The Crown Carriers — Carl Perkins and Elizabeth Gardner THE ROYALTY James Boland — King, Theresa Arquitt — Queen Gandy Stoddard — Prince, Tina Wolfe — Princess James Rupert — Prince, Pam Mackey — Princess The Junior Prom — a good time for everyone! 32