Hamilton High School - Hamiltonian Yearbook (South Hamilton, MA)

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The HAMILTONIAN 5 as two tentacles entwined around my diving suit, Directly above me, in the glare of my headlight, a great horny beak was poised, and I recognized that my assailant was a cuttlefish. I jabbed savagely at the form looming above me until a scaly tentacle wrested it from my grasp. Water was trickling into my suit and it was with the greatest difficulty that I breathed. Suddenly the mighty beak swirled down, and then — Smash! I opened my eyes to find myself not re- posing in the belly of a cuttlefish, but lying on the fioor beside my bed. “George” I heard my mother calling, “Wake up! Your breakfast is getting cold and it’s almost time for the school barge to come!” “Petrified horrors!” I said, rubbing my eyes, “What a dream I just had! I have been obessed with the hallucination that a cuttlefish was just about to obliter- ate, and assimilate me!” “Now you listen to me young man,” my mother said, “If that is what you get from reading that horrible magazine. Astounding Stories, that will be the last magazine you are going to read for a while. Now come down stairs and eat your breakfast !” — George Magnon, ’33. How a Nickle Became a Dollar JT was on a dull Saturday morning that I found a nickel on the road. On my way home, I kept thinking of how I could make a dollar to pay for my bicycle tire. I decided to buy a fishing line with the nickel and try my luck at fishing. If I should bt fortunate, I might catch enough fish to earn the needed dollar, and, at the same time, I could spend an enjoyable forenoon. Hastily, I ran dowm town and bought the fishing line. As soon as I got home, I dug some worms and then I was off. When I got to the brook, I took out my tackle and baited my line. I fished for about an hour but no luck; for another half hour I patiently fished, then I felt a nibble. I tried to pull it in but I couldn’t. After an hour of struggling, I finally got it on shore. Guess what it was! A snapping mud turtle! I was not only dissappointed, but in my disgust, I started for home. However, on a second though, I decided to take it along with me. Knowing that restaurants often serve mock turtle soup. I though perhaps some restaurant might be glad of an opportun- ity to serve the real thing. So I stopped at the restaurant and inquired. To my delight I sold the turtle, which was a big one weighing twenty-five pounds, for a dollar. This reminded me of my bi- cycle tire, and I walked home thinking what a lucky boy I was! — Alexander Koloski, ’33. Magnon (Explaining his story to Mrs. Boyd): “There is a great climax in the last part. Just as two burglars climb in the kitchen window, the clock strikes one and - -” Mrs. Boyd: “George, be more expli- cit, which one did the clock strike. ” Student of Aviation Instructor; “Define ‘aviator’.” Lee: “One who flies a plane.” Instructor: “And ‘aviatrix’. ' ' ” Lee: “Those are the tricks he does.’’

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The HAMILTONIAN 4 Now, 2,000 feet below were six, led by — a grin spread over Jack’s face — led by Von Shenider! For months and months Jack had wanted to meet ’on Shenider. Yesterday three of his best friends were shot down by him. Now was his chance. Either Von Shenider or Jack Johnson would crash! The American patrol dropped down like an arrow, their machine guns spurting bullets. The Germans separated. These were the two forces. Six German Aces against an ordinary American patrol In less time then Jack knew, two of his men had crashed to their dtaths, but he was on Von Sheniders’ tail, his machine guns were at work and his face wore a grim expression. Suddenly the red plane burst into flames, turned over, and fell into a tailspin. Four minutes later it crashed, carrying the great German Ace. While taking his last look at Von Shenider’s plane. Jack’s mind wandered. When he turned and look again, he was surrounded by the enemy. A bullet struck the instrument board, suddenly oil burst into his face, the gas t ink exploded, and his plane burst into flames. Well, this was the end, but inyway, he plunged to his death with a grim smile on his face- — he had rid the air of Von Shenider. — Harold McDonald, ’32. ' ey ' ey The Cuttlefish Y A ST Friday my Uncle Aloysius finally relented and let me get into a diving suit to explore the ocean bed. The pre- cious day he had allowed me to stay on his submarine, the “Crusader” to locate a missing yacht which had sunk in a re- cent storm. The submarine was resting on ocean bed about a mile from the surface, and I grabbed my golden opportunity be- fore my uncle had a chance to change his mind. When at length I finally managed to struggle into my metal diving-suit which was built for use under gr;at pressure, I looked like an autom aton . Every joint of the suit was operated by the ball and socket system, and I found that by exerting pressure on wires inside the metal hand, I could control the metal fingers. Screwed on to the neck of my diving suit was a globular helmet with glass panes rein- forced by wire netting through which I could .see. My uncle had done away with the peril of carrying an air linewhichcould kink and foul and suffocate the diver. In its place was a rounded .steel box which contained the necessary oxygen-manu- facturing chemicals. I stiffly stepped out between two slid- ing steel doors which automatically closed as I stepped knee-deep into the slime at the bottom of the ocean. Strange sickly, green plants waved to and fro, in- fluenced by the ocean current, and, by means of the portable searchlight attach- ed to my helmet, I saw fleeting glimpes of hideous, horny, eels, multi-colored and weird-shaped fish as they swam by much attracted by the light. I waded with difficulty through the slimy ooze that covered the ocean bed. Finally an out- jutting rock shut off my view of the sub- marine. A black deep hole loomed up in front of me, amd tw ' O green, luminous eyes set widely apart, fixed their hideous, unwinking, stare directly upon me. A long, rope like object snaked out of the hole, and, under the glare of my search- light, I saw an object resembling a suc- tion cup writhing at the end of the ten- tacle. Several other snakelike tentacles emanated from the pit. I slowly and clum- sily turned to flee, but was hampered by my heavy suit, as well as the great pres- sure at that depth. With a feeling of hor- ror, I felt the steel plates around me

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6 The HAMILTONIAN A Five Cent Snake Value — One Dollar J CAN still remember that day when I paid five cents for a snake with its poison gland cut out. The first time I held it, I got the creeps and had all that I could do to keep from yelling, but after a while it did not frighten me so much. About a week after I got the snake, a stranger offered me fifty cents for it. We made the exchange. He coolly stooped to pick him off the fence rail where I had placed him. Suddenly the snake coiled itself and hissed at him. The man yell- ed in deadly fear and hot-footed it for parts unknown. It was a month before I could locate him in New York I wrote him that I would send him the snake by express. I received a letter from him by return mail begging me to keep the snake and the money. A week after that humorous but pro- fitable incident, my friend Donald Greeley bet me fifty cents that his pet monkey was not afraidof my little rattler. Well, I won that bet easily enough, because that little monkey just gave one squint at that reptile, and then beat it for the nearest tree. ■ — Abraham Bookstein, ’33 Smiles Billy Smith: “Your father has a strong box at the store, hasn’t he, Abie?’’ Bookstein: “Yeah. The one he keeps his limburger in.’’ — o — Examiner: “Suppose you were at ten thousand feet, and your plane suddenly burst into flames. What would you do?’’ Lee (Trying for Flying License): “Try to keep cool, sir.’’ — o — Willie Carter: “You say anything to me, big boy, and I’ll make you eat your words.’’ Eddie Carter: “Chicken dumplin’, cranberry sause, an’ watermelon!” Miss Cragg (In di.sgust) : “You call these shades alike? Is there anything you can match?” Miller: “Yes’m, pennies.” Mrs. Ramer (In science class): “Law- ence, what can you tell me about ni- trates?” Lamson. “Well-er-they’re a lot cheap- er than day rates.” — o — Mrs. Ramer: “Gordon, can you tell me the difference betw ' een attraction of gravitation and attrection of cohesion?” McCullock; “Yes’m, attraction of gra- vitation pulls a drunken man to the ground and attraction of cohesion pre- vents his getting up again.” — o — George: “Tell me how to make a Maltese cross.” Magnan: “Step on his tail, mum.” — o — Overheard at Seout Camp Arthur Perkins (confidentially to his brother George): “Say, George, what would you really do if you met a bear?” George: “Climb a tree!” Arthur; “But bears can climb trees, too.” George: “Not my tree— it would shake too much.”