Hamilton Collegiate Institute - Vox Lycei Yearbook (Hamilton, Ontario Canada)

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Christmas, 1923 VOX LYCEI 79 Miss Brooks- I noticed when you passed Bill Stomp that he never returned your salu'tation. Miss Jackson- Oli, he sits across from me in school, and he never returns any- thing. But- No! Just No! One No! Please! NM x x X x X x Say, Winn, why don't you shave? ROOM XXIV. Mir. Etlinger-t'IYho can give me a, sentence with a conjunction in it, and tell why it is a. conjunction? Miss' Hallett- The horse was hitched by the halter to a fence. 'Halter' is the conjunction, because it joins the horse to the fence. The tailor was measuring Muir for his first made-to-order suit of clothes. Do you want the shoulders padded? he en- quired. No, said Muir, glancing meaningly at his father, pad the pants. Mr. Etlinger-HPatterson, what did Sir Walter' say when he placed his cloak on the muddy road for the beautiful Queen to walk over? Patterson Qjust waking up from a fast dreamj- Step on it, kid. Fenton- Aw, mother, do I have to wash my face? Mother-- Yes, my son. Fenton- Why can 't I just powder it like you do yours. I stepped upon the tomc-at's tail, The lights were dim and low, The cat responded with a wail, It was his tail of woe. ROOM XXV. Mr. Price- What is the feminine of monk? Miss McLea- There isn't any. Miss Ostrosser- Num Miss McLea- Well, tliat's what I said. Favourite Sayings. Mr. Price- Don't all speak at once. Mr. Elliott- Get the point? Mr. Leislinian- Now, class, if you'll pardon me a moment I'll say a few words. Miss Horning Qscanning the 'bill-of-farej - Have you frog's legs? IVaitc-1'-t'Oli, no Illtlqlll, I Walk this way on account of my rheumatismf' Yes, we were going to the s-how last night, but Elfredda lost her money. - Eddie Hyslop. ROOM XXVI. Thompson fin June, l924j, handing in his examination papers-- I feel that these are the last sad writes! Mr, Moiat- Don't speak till the spirit moves, Johnston. Ellwood- He hasn't had that much, even if his nose is red. I mix my beans with honey, I've clone so all my life: Not that I like them better- It 's to keep them on my knife. Bob- I am always moved at the sound of music. Marj.- Let me play something for you at once. I heard that Miss Mueller would love to do something for humanity. Tell her to give up singing. il ROOM XXVII. We 're the girls of twenty-seven, We 're the nearest class to heaven, We ,re as a rose between two thorns Q26-285 But we never blow our horns.

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78 VOX W'aiter, this coffee is nothing but mud. Yes sir, it was ground this morning. But, Alan, said she coquettishly, Will you love mc when I am ol-fl and ugly? ll My dear, said Alan, gallantly, you may grow older, but you never will be uglierf' And he wondered Why their friendship ceased. ROOM XX. hlr. Robertson-J'N0, Peggy, you must not go to those low-brow dancesg that camel walk is making you a hump-back. Miss Hitchius- lt 's too had that hande some men are always conceitedf' McCulloch- I'm not, Ruth. Miss Goldberg- What does Miss Lounsbury get to talk about?', Miss Sedgwick- Notl1ing at all, and she talks about it all the time. ll' Can you tell us anything about the iron age? Dot- Ibn afraid I'm a little rusty on that subjectf' If all our teachers loved us, And none of them could see Our manifold misdoings, How happy we would be. ROOM XXI. It is rumoured that Ogg, of Room 6, found a pencil that he had lost last year. At a recent visit. to the barber's, the loss was discovered behind his ear. How do you find business these days? By going out and looking for it. Samson had the right idea about adver- tising. He took two columns and soon had everything coming his way. XVanted-A ribbon to tie Miss Ram- sayls fountain pen around her neck, as we positively refuse to buy l1er a third one. Wanted-Something to argue about. -Miss Jones. LYCEI Christmas, 1923 In the parade after that Sarnia game, a couple of the fellows were arrested, and we had to bail them out. XVere they full? I'll get a liekin', I'll bet a dollarg I don 't care, I won't holler. I'll take twenty if I must, But Illl sec the Lyric if I bust. ROOM XXII. Up the stairs and along the hall To the furthest end go through. Stop at a quaint. old-fashioned door, And sure therc's twenty-two. ! Mr. Jackson- If a body is immersed in water, what will it lose? Miss Simpson- It's life, if it can't swim. Mr. Stevenson Cpointing to the boardj- What's the best way to get rid of these equations? Miss Cruickshank-f Rub them oi, Sir. Cy Reid- Parallel li11es are the same distance from each other all the way, and do not meet unless you bend them. The school paper is a great invention-' The school gets all the fameg The printer gets all the money, And the staff gets all the blame. Miss Callowhill, when asked why she didn lt attend a lecture on lungs said, UI don 't care for organ recitals. ROOM XXIII. Miss Craig and Miss Jackson are two pretty maids, They both talk enough to fill many a page. But to-day they are quiet, Cause one is on diet, And the other's locked up in a cage. A comedy is a funny story. A tragedy is a funny story told twice to the same man. What is a hypocrite? A fellow who comes to school with a smile on his face.

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80 VOX Bob Hazel- Have you been drinking? Leon Goldibergh That's my business. Mr. Johnson- What is a zebra? Modern Miss Bright- A new sport model of a donkey. Can you imagine- Miss Lowriss without Mr. Haines? Miss lVoods using some of her brains? The Aneastorians eoming on time? The person who wrote this making it rhyrne? Miss XVhite Without her spit curl? Miss Batzold in the hall without a girl? Miss Olmstead with 'her hair eurled right? Miss Elliott trying hard to just look right? Miss Stevenson knowing all her work! And Miss Cole having on a long skirt? We had to write our jokes on thin paper so that the joke editor eould see through them. RO OM XXVIII. From our own point of view- Vp in the attie, On the Western side, A studious bunch Of girls reside. They study so hard Theylre all Worn out, And they know all that The teaehers know-just about. From the viewpoint of the H. C. I. boys- VVay up the stairs Ou the very last Bight, You may see Au amazing sight. Forty beautiful girls- Every one Zl. gem, And only two boys- . How We envy them! From the point of view of the teachers Of Room QS- By the time they elimb up to Room Twenty-eight, They're usually just abovt five minutes late. The girls have got tired of waiting around, Have all disappeared, and cannot be found. LYCEI Christmas, 1923 After rounding them up, from cloak room and hall, They finally get started, then presently stall. They try the old bait-they were out last night, They forgot their book, but the teaeher won't biteg And after :1 while he givrs up in despair, And lets them play eheekers, or comb out their hair. -By J. A. M. Dr. Owens- NV'ho ean tell me what race of people have blaek eyes? KJ, Cook- Sheiks, sir. ROOM XXIX. Teacher Creprovinglyl-J'When Lloyd George was your age he was head of the class. Pupil- That euts both ways, sir. When he was your age he was Prime Min- isterf' Rymal- How did your father take our engagement? K. D.- Oh, very well, he always hum- ours my most foolish whims. 77 Teacher- Now, class, find the com- mon denominator. Lang- What! You dion't tell me that thing is lost again! MV stoek-in-trade is brainsf' Hain.: You've got a funny looking sample eafse. ' ' ROOM T-I Jarvis- Say, I weigh about three hundred pounds, and these seales only go up to one hundred and fifty. Atkinson-t'That's all right, get O11 twice, and add the totals. Several first for-mers have been seen hanging around members of the H. C. I. Radio Club, with glass jars and butterfly nets. It is said, that they are trying to catch the radio bulg. Mapham has been seen on several occa- sions arm in arm with a girl. When accused, he stated, that he was just hold- ing up a. Woman's right.