Hamilton Collegiate Institute - Vox Lycei Yearbook (Hamilton, Ontario Canada)

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78 VOX W'aiter, this coffee is nothing but mud. Yes sir, it was ground this morning. But, Alan, said she coquettishly, Will you love mc when I am ol-fl and ugly? ll My dear, said Alan, gallantly, you may grow older, but you never will be uglierf' And he wondered Why their friendship ceased. ROOM XX. hlr. Robertson-J'N0, Peggy, you must not go to those low-brow dancesg that camel walk is making you a hump-back. Miss Hitchius- lt 's too had that hande some men are always conceitedf' McCulloch- I'm not, Ruth. Miss Goldberg- What does Miss Lounsbury get to talk about?', Miss Sedgwick- Notl1ing at all, and she talks about it all the time. ll' Can you tell us anything about the iron age? Dot- Ibn afraid I'm a little rusty on that subjectf' If all our teachers loved us, And none of them could see Our manifold misdoings, How happy we would be. ROOM XXI. It is rumoured that Ogg, of Room 6, found a pencil that he had lost last year. At a recent visit. to the barber's, the loss was discovered behind his ear. How do you find business these days? By going out and looking for it. Samson had the right idea about adver- tising. He took two columns and soon had everything coming his way. XVanted-A ribbon to tie Miss Ram- sayls fountain pen around her neck, as we positively refuse to buy l1er a third one. Wanted-Something to argue about. -Miss Jones. LYCEI Christmas, 1923 In the parade after that Sarnia game, a couple of the fellows were arrested, and we had to bail them out. XVere they full? I'll get a liekin', I'll bet a dollarg I don 't care, I won't holler. I'll take twenty if I must, But Illl sec the Lyric if I bust. ROOM XXII. Up the stairs and along the hall To the furthest end go through. Stop at a quaint. old-fashioned door, And sure therc's twenty-two. ! Mr. Jackson- If a body is immersed in water, what will it lose? Miss Simpson- It's life, if it can't swim. Mr. Stevenson Cpointing to the boardj- What's the best way to get rid of these equations? Miss Cruickshank-f Rub them oi, Sir. Cy Reid- Parallel li11es are the same distance from each other all the way, and do not meet unless you bend them. The school paper is a great invention-' The school gets all the fameg The printer gets all the money, And the staff gets all the blame. Miss Callowhill, when asked why she didn lt attend a lecture on lungs said, UI don 't care for organ recitals. ROOM XXIII. Miss Craig and Miss Jackson are two pretty maids, They both talk enough to fill many a page. But to-day they are quiet, Cause one is on diet, And the other's locked up in a cage. A comedy is a funny story. A tragedy is a funny story told twice to the same man. What is a hypocrite? A fellow who comes to school with a smile on his face.

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christmas, 1923 vox LYCEI 77 Grace- What a peculiar looking thing on your upper lip! Ernie- My dear girl, never knock a moustache, when it's down. The occupants of Room 16 are beginning to think that Ernie says Grace before each meal. One day there was a tap on the door- Mr. Hogarth Went and turned it off. Kelday- Who is that fellow over there with the long hair? Thompson- He's from Yale. Kelday- O yes! Ilve heard of those Yale locks. Favorite Occupations of Our Gang. Ethel Stewart-Borrowing Drnry's Al- gebra. Mildred Morden-Studying. Slater-Looking at the girls. Phyllis Aitcheson-Asking questions. Mr. Armstrong-Opening the windows. Grace Peebles-Closing the Windows. Price-Answering questions. ROOM XVII. In Memoriam. I envy not in any mood The student void of noble rage, Who, when he comes within the cage Finds not his books where they had stood. I envy not the beast that takes A fancy to any book of mine: Unfettered by a sense of crime, To whom a conscience never wakes. Nor who may count himself as blest, That heart that ever plighted troth, Q The books of mine all bound in cloth With any ill-begotten gest. I hold it true, whate'er befall, I feel it When I borrow most, 'Tis better to have bought and lost Than never to have bought at all. Did you tell that young man of yours that I am going to switch the light off at ten, Madeline? Yes, dad. Well what did he sayf' 1 .. , He's coming at ten after this. What is the meaninff of eloeution Miss Taylor? It's the Way people are put to death in some countries. Perhaps she 's right. b ! I! R-O OM XVIII. Leishman wants a farm hand 's job in a eonfectionei-'s shop, in order to milk chocolates. XVaiter, this soup is spoiled. Who told you? A little swallow. Craig is getting so popular that there is a song written wherein he is mentioned three times- Tramp, tramp, tramp, etc. Drop me a line soon, said the sailor as he disappeared over the rail. Zick-'tWhen I leave school, I will step into a nice job at rBlti,l'10l'l per. Moggridge- Per What? Zick-' ' Perhaps. When I don't want a man's atten- tions, said Dorothy Laurie, and he keeps asking me Where I live, I tell him in the suburbs. Hal ha! Excellent idea, but where do you live? asked Me.Hah'ie. In the suburbs. ROOM XIX. Traffic Cop- You're under arrest for speeding. Robertson- Aw, I wasn't speeding. Say, though, I passed a couple of fellows who were. Mrs. Coleman Qproudlyj- This is my little son, Sheldon, Mrs. Jones. Sheldon taceustomecl to being shown oi in publiej- VVhat was that clever thing I said yesterday, mother? 7! At a recent J. F. F. dance, Jack Rogers was escorting a young lady to her seat. I could just die dancing, couldn't you? he said. Q No, she replied. There are pleasantcr Ways of dying than being trampled to death!

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Christmas, 1923 VOX LYCEI 79 Miss Brooks- I noticed when you passed Bill Stomp that he never returned your salu'tation. Miss Jackson- Oli, he sits across from me in school, and he never returns any- thing. But- No! Just No! One No! Please! NM x x X x X x Say, Winn, why don't you shave? ROOM XXIV. Mir. Etlinger-t'IYho can give me a, sentence with a conjunction in it, and tell why it is a. conjunction? Miss' Hallett- The horse was hitched by the halter to a fence. 'Halter' is the conjunction, because it joins the horse to the fence. The tailor was measuring Muir for his first made-to-order suit of clothes. Do you want the shoulders padded? he en- quired. No, said Muir, glancing meaningly at his father, pad the pants. Mr. Etlinger-HPatterson, what did Sir Walter' say when he placed his cloak on the muddy road for the beautiful Queen to walk over? Patterson Qjust waking up from a fast dreamj- Step on it, kid. Fenton- Aw, mother, do I have to wash my face? Mother-- Yes, my son. Fenton- Why can 't I just powder it like you do yours. I stepped upon the tomc-at's tail, The lights were dim and low, The cat responded with a wail, It was his tail of woe. ROOM XXV. Mr. Price- What is the feminine of monk? Miss McLea- There isn't any. Miss Ostrosser- Num Miss McLea- Well, tliat's what I said. Favourite Sayings. Mr. Price- Don't all speak at once. Mr. Elliott- Get the point? Mr. Leislinian- Now, class, if you'll pardon me a moment I'll say a few words. Miss Horning Qscanning the 'bill-of-farej - Have you frog's legs? IVaitc-1'-t'Oli, no Illtlqlll, I Walk this way on account of my rheumatismf' Yes, we were going to the s-how last night, but Elfredda lost her money. - Eddie Hyslop. ROOM XXVI. Thompson fin June, l924j, handing in his examination papers-- I feel that these are the last sad writes! Mr, Moiat- Don't speak till the spirit moves, Johnston. Ellwood- He hasn't had that much, even if his nose is red. I mix my beans with honey, I've clone so all my life: Not that I like them better- It 's to keep them on my knife. Bob- I am always moved at the sound of music. Marj.- Let me play something for you at once. I heard that Miss Mueller would love to do something for humanity. Tell her to give up singing. il ROOM XXVII. We 're the girls of twenty-seven, We 're the nearest class to heaven, We ,re as a rose between two thorns Q26-285 But we never blow our horns.