Hamilton Collegiate Institute - Vox Lycei Yearbook (Hamilton, Ontario Canada)

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christmas, 1923 vox LYCEI 77 Grace- What a peculiar looking thing on your upper lip! Ernie- My dear girl, never knock a moustache, when it's down. The occupants of Room 16 are beginning to think that Ernie says Grace before each meal. One day there was a tap on the door- Mr. Hogarth Went and turned it off. Kelday- Who is that fellow over there with the long hair? Thompson- He's from Yale. Kelday- O yes! Ilve heard of those Yale locks. Favorite Occupations of Our Gang. Ethel Stewart-Borrowing Drnry's Al- gebra. Mildred Morden-Studying. Slater-Looking at the girls. Phyllis Aitcheson-Asking questions. Mr. Armstrong-Opening the windows. Grace Peebles-Closing the Windows. Price-Answering questions. ROOM XVII. In Memoriam. I envy not in any mood The student void of noble rage, Who, when he comes within the cage Finds not his books where they had stood. I envy not the beast that takes A fancy to any book of mine: Unfettered by a sense of crime, To whom a conscience never wakes. Nor who may count himself as blest, That heart that ever plighted troth, Q The books of mine all bound in cloth With any ill-begotten gest. I hold it true, whate'er befall, I feel it When I borrow most, 'Tis better to have bought and lost Than never to have bought at all. Did you tell that young man of yours that I am going to switch the light off at ten, Madeline? Yes, dad. Well what did he sayf' 1 .. , He's coming at ten after this. What is the meaninff of eloeution Miss Taylor? It's the Way people are put to death in some countries. Perhaps she 's right. b ! I! R-O OM XVIII. Leishman wants a farm hand 's job in a eonfectionei-'s shop, in order to milk chocolates. XVaiter, this soup is spoiled. Who told you? A little swallow. Craig is getting so popular that there is a song written wherein he is mentioned three times- Tramp, tramp, tramp, etc. Drop me a line soon, said the sailor as he disappeared over the rail. Zick-'tWhen I leave school, I will step into a nice job at rBlti,l'10l'l per. Moggridge- Per What? Zick-' ' Perhaps. When I don't want a man's atten- tions, said Dorothy Laurie, and he keeps asking me Where I live, I tell him in the suburbs. Hal ha! Excellent idea, but where do you live? asked Me.Hah'ie. In the suburbs. ROOM XIX. Traffic Cop- You're under arrest for speeding. Robertson- Aw, I wasn't speeding. Say, though, I passed a couple of fellows who were. Mrs. Coleman Qproudlyj- This is my little son, Sheldon, Mrs. Jones. Sheldon taceustomecl to being shown oi in publiej- VVhat was that clever thing I said yesterday, mother? 7! At a recent J. F. F. dance, Jack Rogers was escorting a young lady to her seat. I could just die dancing, couldn't you? he said. Q No, she replied. There are pleasantcr Ways of dying than being trampled to death!

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76 VOX LYCEI Christmas, 1923 ROOM XIV. Not His Sister! There was once a very gay Mr. Who called on a girl and then Kr But. his manner was such That he did it too much, And her lips soon started to Blr. Farmer- Kin you milk a cow? Mueller- No, but I've operated a fountain pen at school. They're oifl' cried the old lady, as she viewed the inmates of an insane asylum. Mr. XV. f'Iark- XVell, then, what is the pound shell Weigh? Shields- I don 't know. Mr. W. Clark- Well, what times does the twelve o'eloek train leave? Shields- Twelve o'eloek.'l Mr. VV. Clark-Wlel, hten, what is the weight of a six pound shell? Shields- Twelve pounds. Dickie-'fIf I stole a kiss, would you scream for your parents? Miss Hill- Not unless you Wanted to kiss the whole familyf' Mr. Thompson- What! You Want to marry my daughter! Willy, man, she's only n school girl. Balch- I came early to avoid the rush. Miss King- Are you fond of tea? Woodbridge- Yes, but I like the next letter best. Monger- Father, why do Words have roots? Weary Father- I suppose, my son, so that the language may grow. Fitzpatrick had just completed a small painting called The Rising Sun, and was showing it to Miss Wright. It makes my mouth Water, she said. Makes your mouth water! What do you mean? replied the artist. Why, it 's a fried egg, isnit it? was the eritie's reply. KK Miss Ballantine- What are you do- ing to-morrow, Evelyn? Miss O 'Reilly-' 'Nothing ' ' Bessie-' f And Friday? ' ' Evelyn-' ' Nothing. Bessie-And on Saturday? Evelyn- I'm going out to dinner. Bessie- Oh, what a shame! I wanted to take you out with me for dinner, Saturday. We hear that Willarcl wants a job in an eating house. He understands the job. First Father- What are you going to make of your son up at the Collegiate? Second Ditto- If' he keeps the same hours he does now I am going to make a milkinan out of him. if ROOM XVI. Price- You seem to like that joke. Thompson- I do. I liked it the first time I ever 'heard it. Henderson fGliekj- Why is Boyle 'S Law like loveii' Robinson falso Gliekj- Because the higher the pressure the lower the gas. Who's that homely-looking woman? That's my sister. She sure can dance. Hogarth- How do you like that girl I dug up for you? Slater- VVell, as far as I'm concerned, you can ibury her again. Miss fSteWart- I eall him my Ber- muda Onionf' Miss Peeibles- Wh5'?' Miss 'Stewart- Because he's so big I! I and strong. Norris- Well, let 's toss for it. Lloyd- O, goodyg I jl1St love gambl' ing, don lt youil' When Noah 'built himself the ark, It was the pride of the nationg The Grand Trunk thought so much of it They took it for King Street Station.

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78 VOX W'aiter, this coffee is nothing but mud. Yes sir, it was ground this morning. But, Alan, said she coquettishly, Will you love mc when I am ol-fl and ugly? ll My dear, said Alan, gallantly, you may grow older, but you never will be uglierf' And he wondered Why their friendship ceased. ROOM XX. hlr. Robertson-J'N0, Peggy, you must not go to those low-brow dancesg that camel walk is making you a hump-back. Miss Hitchius- lt 's too had that hande some men are always conceitedf' McCulloch- I'm not, Ruth. Miss Goldberg- What does Miss Lounsbury get to talk about?', Miss Sedgwick- Notl1ing at all, and she talks about it all the time. ll' Can you tell us anything about the iron age? Dot- Ibn afraid I'm a little rusty on that subjectf' If all our teachers loved us, And none of them could see Our manifold misdoings, How happy we would be. ROOM XXI. It is rumoured that Ogg, of Room 6, found a pencil that he had lost last year. At a recent visit. to the barber's, the loss was discovered behind his ear. How do you find business these days? By going out and looking for it. Samson had the right idea about adver- tising. He took two columns and soon had everything coming his way. XVanted-A ribbon to tie Miss Ram- sayls fountain pen around her neck, as we positively refuse to buy l1er a third one. Wanted-Something to argue about. -Miss Jones. LYCEI Christmas, 1923 In the parade after that Sarnia game, a couple of the fellows were arrested, and we had to bail them out. XVere they full? I'll get a liekin', I'll bet a dollarg I don 't care, I won't holler. I'll take twenty if I must, But Illl sec the Lyric if I bust. ROOM XXII. Up the stairs and along the hall To the furthest end go through. Stop at a quaint. old-fashioned door, And sure therc's twenty-two. ! Mr. Jackson- If a body is immersed in water, what will it lose? Miss Simpson- It's life, if it can't swim. Mr. Stevenson Cpointing to the boardj- What's the best way to get rid of these equations? Miss Cruickshank-f Rub them oi, Sir. Cy Reid- Parallel li11es are the same distance from each other all the way, and do not meet unless you bend them. The school paper is a great invention-' The school gets all the fameg The printer gets all the money, And the staff gets all the blame. Miss Callowhill, when asked why she didn lt attend a lecture on lungs said, UI don 't care for organ recitals. ROOM XXIII. Miss Craig and Miss Jackson are two pretty maids, They both talk enough to fill many a page. But to-day they are quiet, Cause one is on diet, And the other's locked up in a cage. A comedy is a funny story. A tragedy is a funny story told twice to the same man. What is a hypocrite? A fellow who comes to school with a smile on his face.