Hamilton Collegiate Institute - Vox Lycei Yearbook (Hamilton, Ontario Canada)

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Christmas, 1923 VOX LYCEI 73 What makes the butter bad?'l he asked, And pushed away the stuff. Because, said she, when it was cream It wasn't whipped enoughf, Murray Qentering Counaughtj- Here, are you the manager of this hotel? I Manager- Well, I thought I was till you came in. ROOM V. Little granddaughter to Flynn, seventy years hence- Grandpa, were you in the ark? VVhy no, dear, gasped the astonished granddaddy. Granddaughter's eyes grow large and round with wonder. Then why weren't you drowned? The pupils of Room 5 suggest that the Board of Education stretch a net under the Domestic Science Room window to keep articles of eatables from being dashed to death on the pavement below. An engineer says that the usual life of a locomotive is thirty years. Perhaps it would live longer if it didnlt smoke so much. ROOM VI. Seeing as how Hallowe'en is over, we would advise Ogg to take of his wig. Mr. Clarke was taking up a history lesson, and had been talking about Lloyd George. 'Suddenly he turned to a small lad: Kirkpatrick, who lived in Wales? Kirkpatrick, after his sudden awaken- ing- Jonah, sir. Robbins Qwho had just come into the grand-standj- Hello, Evans, did you see who was taking the tickets? Evans- No, Who? Robbins-ffAh! Ha! I thought that you had jumped the fence again. He- For two cents I'd kiss you! She- Can you change a nickelllu What is your favorite hymn, dear? The one that you just chased over the fence, pa. I could eat you, fatheadf' W'ell, you would have more brains in your stomach than you ever will in your head. ROOM VII. Mr. Houghton- How is it that when I come in the room I always find you idle? Shaver- It must be those rubber soles you 're wearing. Visitor- How old are you? VVaddcll-Eleven, sir. Visitor- What are you going to be? VVaddell-' ' Twelve, sir. Seen in the daily paper: Dou't kill your wife! Let us do your dirty work! -C-ity Laundry. One winter's day a very bow-legged tramp called at a house to warm 'himself at the kitchen stove. The little boy of the 'house looked at him carefully and said: Say, mister, you'd better stand back, you 're warping. Michael O'Flannigan, to his horse which refuses to get up after falling: Well, of all the lazy spalpeens. Gat up, or Oi 'll drive right over yez! ROOM VIII. New arrival in trenches- And where do I go when this shelling starts? Sandy-t'Laddie, that all depends on your religious opinions. I dreamed last night that I proposed to a beautiful girl, Nix confided. And what did I say? she queried, breathlessly. She- Last night I told him I didn't want to see him any more. Robertson- Well, what did he do? She- Turned out the lightsf' ROOM IX. Miss Hubbs- Do you understand French? Walters- Yes, when it is spoken in English.

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Christmas, 1923 VOX Sammie and Sadie are our two imperial midgets. Ching XVO11 Long and Ching Fon Fuey, Started i11 to eat. Chop Suey. They ate and ate until they died- Did they eoinmit Chop Sueyside? He iiunked i11 Latin, failed i11 French. We heard 'him sadly hiss: I'd like to find the guy who said That ignorance is blissfl ROOM X. Miss Cline- Do you mean to say I use too much face powder? Miss Richardson- You ought to join the plasterers' unio11.', Davis Cas Vila releases Riehmondj- What Was he doing to you? Richmond- I guess he was trying to make cider out of my Adam 's apple. Porter- Ever heard of airplane poison? Thomas- No, What is it? Porter- One drop is fatal. Clerk- This book will do half your work. Guest- Gimme two, quick. First Youth- She's a fine girl-brains enough for two! Second Ditto- She's just the girl for you, then, Thomas. ROOM XI. We have a teacher, sad to say, Who says, All through, the livelong day. We 'hope when the exams. come nigh He'll say, All through, not failed, or try, Then when in heaven St. Peter Waits To close the airy golden gates, This shall be said in judgment true, He was very, very good, all through. QApologies to Mr, Daniels.j LYCEI 75 Elliot-I onee loved a girl and she made a fool out of ine. Miss Allan- My, what a lasting im- pressiou some people make. Violets are blue, roses are red, And the hair won 't stay combed on Her- cules' head. Miss Virtue- Mr. Kenyon, I might do 1ny Latin hoinework tonight. Mr. Kenyon- Yes, might is right. ROOM XIII. Old Man- Here, you boy, don't you know you Sl10lllLlIlllZ he therc fishing? You should be at school. Iiillins- There, now, I knew I had forgotten something. Mr. Armstrong fan enthusiast about regular attendanccl- Attendance good today. No one absent but Budge. Let us hope he is sick. Teacher- How was iron discovered? Miss McFarlane- Well, I've heard pa say they smelt it. Why, PI11lglOll,m said the teacher, What makes your hair so red? I've just had scarlet fever, And it settled in my head. Mr. F1'0GIllll1l-!rIIClllg', give the prin- cipal parts of oceidof' Heilig Cas he glances tenderly at Miss Stephensl- O Kiddo, O Kiddearie, O Kissu, O Kissunif' Room 13 Want Ads. 1. Wanted-A room 'by a gentleman with double doors. 2. Wanted-A nian to take care of a horse who can talk German. 3. Wanted-A dog by a little boy, with pointed cars. 4. Wanted-A boy who can open oysters with references. 5. Wanted-A nice mattress by an old woman full of feathers.