Hamilton Collegiate Institute - Vox Lycei Yearbook (Hamilton, Ontario Canada)

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Christmas, 1923 VOX LYCEI 51 ain't, was the grnff reply. Brudde1-, yo' is! And that settled it. All the remainder of the long, hot night, Emery lay there thinking, thinking, think- ing of some plan other than the one pro- posed by Napoleon. Finally, one present- ed itself to his ti1'ed brain. He feared to arouse his big roommate. so he turned the plan over and over in his mind, until, by dawn he had it so perfectly worked out in his mind that he was forced to pinch himself to make su1'e it hadn't taken place already. As soon as Napoleon awoke, Emery poured his ideas into the bewildered ears of his roommate. Napoleon Caesar Johnson, Ah's got de mos' wondcrfnllest plan fo' gettin' money dat yo' eber did hear, .he ejacu- lated, slapping Napoleon cordially on the back. Go on, get it outen yo' mis-a-ble sys- tem. Listen, it's a puffeckly scrumbunet- nous plan, began Emery, with forced enthusiasm. 'tWe all will haf to trable to some darktown populace, an pertend to be Wall St. brokers, who have jest dis- covered dat dere is piles ob oil in dat section. We'll all go walkin' around some big open piece of ground, tappin' de rocks wif dem hammers we are got. Show dem some oil which we mus' say we destract- ed from dat groun', and de news 'll spread, an' fo' y' know it, we'll be distributin, oil stock like German marks! Den we mus' skiddoo, savvy? he finished, grin- ning at Napoleon 's bright nod. Dat sure am once Ah got- ter take off mah head-gear ter mah po' runt of a room- mate, atiirmed Napoleon. It suttinly is scrunibunctuons, al' right. So dat's de plan us shall execute. Shall us? Us shall, agreed Emery, joyously, the awful weight of an ancient Ford lifted from him. Two days later, Napoleon and Emery stepped off the little X. Y. Z. Railroad Pullman onto the dusty platform Which. by means of a faded sign board, announced the location of Bennington Centre. It ll So dis am Paris , grinned Emery, sur- veying t-he peaceful hamlet. No wise cracks dere, young one, warned Napoleon, who towered above him with a suitcase in each hand. An', ll listen, Ah's goin' ter siop inter Bumbell's Real Estate Emporium to engage a empty store fer an office. Remember, we is frum T11 XVall Ht., Brooklyn, X. Y., and wo pas ses under de name ob de Eureka Oil Com- pany, Does yo' get dat? Ah aiu 't deaf, is Ah? Good afternoon, lJrudder. spoke Xa- poleon, ignoring E1lll'l'YlS remark, and addressing a wide-eyed old darky looking them over as they trudged along the dusty road toward him. How is is yo' dis glor- ious afternoon? The old darky nodded humbly, as Na- poleon, with his imitation diamond scarf pin glittering in the sunlight, stopped be- fore him. Who all is yo' two? inquired the old fellow, with unmistakable curiosity. Oh, er, we all is not a'goin' to con- vulge our identity to nobody jest yet, replied the tall negro. The two oil magnates went on. Ah hopes he follers us, added Emery, stealing a sly glance behind him, cause hc's a turrible curious man, Ah bet. itfuriosity is what we wants, said Na- poleon, and with .great pomp, both negroes entered Bll1llbQll'S Real Estate Einporiuln, and without divulging their business quickly concluded a bargain for the rent- ing of a. nearby otiice. The next day there were two very curi- ous spectators at the rocky piece of land, where Napoleon was tapping rocks. Poor Emery was doing his ln-st to rap the rock as deftly as his partner. The two interested persons were Mr. Bumlnell, the gaunt negro who attended to the town's real estate wants, and the curious old darky whom the two oil fakers had met the day pre- vious. That night the old man quickly spread the news at the town's general store and, the following day, several more mildly interested negroes gathered around the two partners as they diligently tapped the stones. Napoleon saw a chance to create a good deal of publicity, and stepping over to where Emery was indnstrionsly rapping a large rock, he quietly whispered some- thing. Then he began speaking aloud in a business-like tone, ignoring apparently, the presence of the listening spectators. I 4.

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--'15 623,151-,-.Pl V1 .' e fl vw? y :ill 1? ' ' Dark Scbem BY ' JOHN is. 11.131113 15:17 -mx T110 iutonge darkiu-ss of the Small furn- isln-d room was no hla-ukvr than the ebony visagv of l':Illl'1'y l1llll'tlll1 XYl1ite, who was tossing resthfssly about in tht- 1l1ll'1'UYV bvfl whivh lic shart-il with his vrafty l'0OIllll1IltC, Napoli-o11 Vassar -IUllIlSU1l- H Hay, dm-re, Eimiry Lincoln XVhite, of yo' all on 'y km-p in a nio ros 'ful L'Ulltllf1Ul1, dis ye-ru: nigga-r might ln- ahlo to think of a plan lay whilfh us truly will he able- to k00p dis yon- rooin auodor week, explodvd the big ruruninate, Nzxpolson. Well, dat's just lVlll1llS a' lllillillll po' nw so 11Qrvn11-s, Oxpostulatotl Emery. Kindly qloso yo' lipsftightf' C0111- inandvd Napoh-on. Ah feels an inspir- ation 4'Ullllll.7 over nie. Tlieru was a pauso of pt-rliaps :1 full 111111- utv. Thf-u tho aiuthoritative bass Voirv of Napoli-on 1':1c s:11' Johnson broke the awk- ward silenvv. llis is do plan, began the voicv. NO, no, yo' 11vorl11't Ulllllll outcn yo' land to listvn to nw. lilnory sank havk nlm-jovtotlly. Now Ah will 1-ontinuv. As yo' know, unle-ss stuns- ont' uh us two gots a brilliailt ide-a, we all will go outvu clis yvre apart- ment like :1 light. Nillitllttlillli 1-loqueut wave of the llallfl was lost in tht- glooin. 'tllah yo' digested dat perniisvuous IIPYYSTH I'lIllf'I'f' griintod assont. HA' right, don, ah will vontinuo. Ethel- hert Jackson is got a puffovtly good 1910 Ford what ht- iiehlner uses. Now, Jacfkson owns dis yvro coon tt-u lwrrios which pos- ilutoly stivks to l1i1n 'lak glue. Dorefore, 'stm-acl o' paying' 1110 dat lll0l.lt'f', ah 'd be satistim-fl to halt a loan nh dat aah fo' jist ont' half hour. What goml's dat, iiuliiiiwed the mysti- tiod Eniery, in a high pitched voice, N-n-not so fast, flvre hrinldor, I'se 1l'l'Ullllll' to dat in do near futurv. Ef mah hrvain fuixvtiruis l'LPl'l'L'lflilf', ah reuollecks :lat yo' possvsscs awidt-11t insuranvo. Is Ah right i11 dat L'011SLllllIITi0ll.'U Pulli13kly right, assuroel Emory, hut whut's dat got tvr do wif UflU1llf'YlJllQS?H Ah asks yo', I'611l011Sf1'ilfC1l Napoleon, 'Hlon' yo' eller uso yo' kinky haid fo' nothin' ino' vlan a liat-rack? 'tAh suttinly does, siiappcd the little tlarkey, hut yo' idua ain't no nio' plain- er ter ine dan mud. Well, roplin-d Napoleon, lieaviug a forvwl sigh, de light oh yo' intelligence iiilllf Ill! nm' luniinous :lan do light in dis yon- I'HlAIll. Dis is de plan: Ah 'll lm tlrivin' 'le ol' lfui-ml down Main Ntrvct au' y0u'1l he walkin' along' a voupla' hlovks ahead. lVlN'I1 yo' hours me comin' slowly near Yo', yo' start urossin' do street, Den hang! an' yo' Collects dv lIlSllI'2illC9.ll EIllGI'f S brain didn't seem to grasp the aiidaczioiis plan. Slowly the full meaning dlawiied upon him and he lay perfectly still with mouth ngapv. His vyes rolled fearfully as he pivtured himself writhiug l,ve110atl1 thc whvels of a inighty Ford of the Vlllfilglt of 1910. Ah posilutvly think Ah :1i11't goin' ter do 110 scvh thing. lin doclared, stoutly. Huh, thinks yo' ain't don' niaku yo'

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52 VOX I say, Einery, did yo' :1ll sign dat con- track fo' dat llllllitlll dollar oil deal we jes' done put across i11 Sfllltltillllliiu Oh-h-h, yas, Ah done did dat when Ah signed dat oder hill for de Rolls-Ruff otto- mobile we is g'Ottill,.H Well, when yo' goes laaek to de office teruight, don' fergit to order dem oil drills for dis yere place, ease 1lere's a billion dollars wnth ob oil ill dis gI'OL1117.H Yas sir, dere is sure ernnft' oil i11 dis yere groan' ter 1l1IlliC J. 17. Rockefeller blush wid envy! The colored natives stared erediilously at each other. It certainly was a great honor for this town to have sueh poiverful personages as these here. And that night while tl1e two oil brokers chuckled over tl1eir day's Slll'l1't'SS, the town was agog with anticipation, a11d the following 111or11- ing a11 cagci' crowd was assembled to watch the strangers at work. Napoleon shrewdly and gleefully observed that the natives felt honored that he had chosen Benning'- ton Centre to he tl1e scene of his oil oper- ations. Twelve times that day both Einery and Napoleon were beset with f'1'li1'Q2'li'iIiQ,' ne- groes who had saved several liundred dol- lars eacli, and who desired to invest their savings ill Eureka Oil Stocks. But the partners tiatly refused, declaring they would 11ot scll less than a tliousand dollars worth of stock to any one custoiner. The idea worked to pert'eetio11, for that evening, three of 4'lt'l1'lifUNYIl'S richest in- l1abita11ts purcliased caeh 0116 thousaiid dollars worth of tllf? fake stocks. Inside of the first successful week as oil proiiioters, Napoleon and his l'Ull1I11'll1i0I1 saw the two oil drills, which they lliili pur- chased witl1 the tow11 's money, satisfact- orily erected. All tl1e following week they were beset by the colored populace to Sell the stocks i11 fifty dollar sliares. Reluc- tantly the partiiers agreed to lower their dignity and sell the shares at fifty dollars each. Then the inoney poured ill thick and fast, for the presenee of responsible work- ers whoin tl1ey had hired, ine-reased the eonlideiiee of the darkies. Tt was at this point of the enterprise that Napoleon fell vit-tim to the greatest lure on l'llI'i'1il-110 was in 'love, and the Ullllll'li:V iieinale was no other than Eu- LYCEI Ch1'iSt111HS, 1923 pheniia Blackwood, the daughter of dark- town 's richest inhaliitant. It was also at this stage of the game, hat Eincry began to notiee that some of the inore ineredulous investors were grow- ing suspicious at the delay in the produc- tion of tl1e inuch-autieipated oil. He in- forined Napoleon of the fact, hut the latter would see iiothing ill the world but Eu- plieniia. And so, the plot grows thicker. Finally, by di11t of 1llUCh persuasion, Emery succeeded i11 waking his Companion up to the fact that, unless he desired to be buried i11 the village graveyard, he had better 1-seape from the precincts of Ben- nington l entre. Sunday niorning dawned clear and Warm. Einery got up froin' his il11pl'0ViS0li eot in the back of the store and, gazing out of the dingy side window, was just able to discern the usual crowd of iiupatient dark- ies at the 111otio11less oil wells. Well, nigger, Ah is a goin 'ter skiddoo wif 111al1 share of de booty dis l'110l'HIlHg,.,' announced Einery, briefly, to l1is heavy eyed eoinpanioii. UFO' de las, time, Ah axes yo', is yo' coinin' or is yo' 1ai11't? Napoleon looked first at the crowd down by the oil drill, then he looked at the pic- ture of Euplieniia. on tl1e bureau. l'se a 'goin ', he declared, mouriifully. And so they .hurriedly jllll11l101i their goods i11to tl1e two suitcases and after cautiously peering about the street in the vicinity of tl1e store, they set off toward the station to catch the lll01'l1i1'lg local. They were just about to cross the field leading to the tuinbled-dowli depot, when Iiniery, casually glancing behind him, saw the crowd running pell-niel toward them, indistinetly yelling Stlllltdilillg as they rim. t'Oh-h-h, Lawdy, Napoleon, dey is a 'co111i11' arter us, bawled Emery. Ef yo' all had 011 'y listened wl1c11 ah done tol' yo' dey wuz wise ter us. Come yere, now, yo' goodferiiartiii' nigger, blubbered the little fellow, as Nll11f,hl0f1Il started to run, 'tyo' all is a-goin' ter stan' yere an' face dc music wif ine. 'Tai11't no use ter run, nohow. Napoleon, suddenly realizing their pre- dicanient, became so paralyzed with abject terror, that nothing less than dynamite eould have moved l1i111. fContinued ou page G65