Hamilton Collegiate Institute - Vox Lycei Yearbook (Hamilton, Ontario Canada)

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Easter V O X L Y C E I 1921 FOURTH FORM I RUSSELL WAINES, Representative. Waines- All the great painters, Di Vinci, Michaelangelo. Rembrandt. are dead, and l'm not feeling well myself. THE LOST COIN The hours you spend with me, dear mon, Are very few it seems to me. I count you over, every dime apart, My salary, my salary. Ten cents a dime. ten dimes a plunk. To earn them is an awful grind, I count each dime, until the end, And there- A dun I find. Oh toil, that is so poorly paidl Oh salary! spent before we greet. I kiss each dime, and try to find A way To make both ends meet- Ye Gods, to make ends meet! WHO KNOWS ? Our grandma never was a Hirt, Prude was her middle name. And though she wore no sawed-off skirt She showed 'em just the same. Miss jones-- Say, Miss Mcllroy, why do old maids wear cotton gloves? Rhena- I dunno. Miss jones- Stupidl They haven't any kids. WHO IN ROOM ll? lf Benny asked of her to say, What twice ten was, or three times seven, She'd glance in quite a placid way, From heaven to earth. from earth to heaven, And smile, and look politely round To catch a casual suggestion, And make no effort to propound Any solution of the question. ADS For Sale-One jersey cow giving three gallons of milk a day, a bale of hay, a small keg of nails, and two stores. Furs made for ladies out of their own skins. Wanted-A front room by an old lady with a bay window. Wanted-A pony by a young school teacher with a long tail. Bella- What part has Inglis in the play? Betty- Oh, he's propriety man. Bella- I didn't think it was that kind of play. YOU TELL 'EM Ladies from Bagdad usually buy seven yards of cheese cloth for a costume. One is inclined to wonder what becomes of the other six and a half yards. IGNORANCE IS BLISS? Miss Cole- Why didn't Moses take mustard into the ark with him? Miss Morwick- I don't know. Miss Cole- Because Moses didn't go into the ark. Ain't you had no fetchin' up? Mr. McGarvin- There will be a higher type of civilization than ours. Miss Perney- I..et's hope there will be a higher one than Coleman's. WHERE DID HE GET THE SCRIPT? Little Robbie Clifton had been sent to the drug store to have a prescription Ell- ed, When the druggist filled the order he called Robbie. Here are your pills, said the druggist. Do you want them put in a nice little box? Why, of course, answered Robert. Did you expect me to roll 'em home?

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Easter Y O X Circus Manager- So you want a job with us. What steps would you take if a lion escaped? Finkleman-- Good long ones, sir Koskey to Sharfatz, who has become so interested in the play at the Grand that he falls over the railing of the balcony- Ceorge, Ceorge, for goodness' sake come back! lt costs a dollar down dere. Koskey to Forcht, who has spilled the ink- Never mind! No use crying over spilt milk. Forcht- lf it were milk, l'd call the cat and she'd soon lick it up-but this isn't milk, and it's Mr. Marshall who'll do the licking. DOES ROOM 13 HATE ITSELF? ln Room I3 we're none of us green, We're the wisest birds that have ever been seen. The owl is our emblem, but we do our best To keep awake all day and ne'er make a jest. We have talent and brains and beauty galore, We have actresses and artists and a whole lot more. There's Amy of the cornet, and Eldon of the flute, Lyman plays the violin and lrvin he can shoot. Gladys is a singer, Marj. supplies the tune, Amy Lee and Mrs. Spiggot are both in our roornn These are a few, but from them you can See What a wonderful place Room I3 must be. Miss Fauman- When l began to paint this picture it was worth only 55.00, but one hundred thousand wouldnit buy it now. Sharftaz- Yes, l'm one of the one hundred thousand. L Y C E I 1921 Miss Whelan- Say, is my tire flat? Miss Fauman- Well, it's Hat at the bottom, but the rest of it is all right. OH! JEAN!! lVliss McColl was desirous of buying a camera. ls this a good one? What is is called? she asked. That's the Belvaderef' said the hand- some young clerk, politely. There was a chilly silence. Then ,lean drew herself coldly erect, fixed him with an icy stare, and asked: Er-can you rec- ommend the Belva? THESE TWO SHOULD BE PUNISHED. Smith- Why does the lndian wear feathers on his head? McNally- Ch, to keep his Wigwam, l suppose. WHO COULD THIS BE? A provincial inspector was much wor- ried by the noise in the next room, T-2. Ar last, unable to bear it any longer, he opened the door and burst upon the class. Seeing one, taller than the others, talking a great deal, he caught him by the collar, dragged him to the office and planted him in a chair, saying: Now, sit there and be quiet. Ten minutes later a small head appear- ed at the door, and McFarlane, in a weak voice, said: Please, sir, you've got our teacherf Sing a song of sixpence, A lot of clever teachers Sitting in a movie show With pleasant, smiling features. Four and twenty pupils, At home-work, in despair. Now isn't that a pretty Fix? Beat it if you dare!! Miss Cosford, at the Market- Give me a chicken. Clerk- Do you want a pullet? Miss C.- NO: l wanta carry it.

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Easter Y U X L Y 4' E I 1921 U. .I. I ul I HH I I Wine, Women and Song Life in the olden days, as a Roman poet saw it: O Varus mine, Plant thou the vine Within this kindly soil of Tiburg Nor temporal woes, Nor spiritual, knows The man who's a discreet imbiber. For who doth croak Of being broke, Or who of warfare, after drinking? With bowl atween us, Of smiling Venus And Bacchus shall we sing, l'm thinking. Of symptoms fell Which brawls impel, Historic data give us warning: The wretch who fights When full, of nights, ls bound to have a head next morning. l do not scorn A friendly horn, But noisy toots, l can't abide 'eml Your howling bat ls stale and Hat To one who knows, because he's tried 'eml The secrets of The life l love fcompanionship with girls and toddyj l would not drag With drunken brag lnto the ken of everybody: But in the shade Let some coy maid With smilax wreathe my Hagon's nozzle, Then all day long, With mirth and song, Shall l enjoy a quiet sozzlel ll 1 1 l 73