Hamilton Collegiate Institute - Vox Lycei Yearbook (Hamilton, Ontario Canada)

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Iiaster X'CJfi L'Y CNE I AN ODE TO THE GIRLS ls dancing, candy and the show, As far as your poor brains will go Now l'm going to tell to you What l think you ought to do. Wash your perfumed, painted face, Wear some clothes as well as lace, Learn to make those homemade socks Unadorned b-y fancy clocks. Cover up your bony arms, They're the smallest of your charms: Stop the foolish little giggle, Walk up straight, and do not wiggle: Forget the giddy midnight whirl, And try to be a lVlother's Girl. So long, Girlies, do not cry, Crocodile tears don't fizz on l. -A BOY. 1921 Don't tell me you can't remember things, said Tom to John, memory is all a matter of system. Now, in what year was the battle of Agincourt fought? john's memory failed him. E.xactlyl replied Tom. Now, how many days in a week? Seven, came the answer. Very well. Twice seven's fourteen. Multiply by a hundred-fourteen hundred. Number of days in june-thirty. Half of thirty-Fifteen. Fifteen and fourteen hun- dred? Fourteen hundred and fifteen, mur- mured john. Right! That's the year of the battle. System, my boy: that's what does it, sys- tem. Pratt- A good deal depends on the formation of early habits. Miss Wilson- l know it. When l was a baby, my mother paid a woman to wheel me about, and l have been pushed for money ever since. A WARNING TO GIRLS Don't put these jokes too near your face, Or you'll get blown to chowder: lt's dangerous to place dry things So near a store of powder. If all the rats were dead would the Catskill Mountains? Miss Kelly- Oh, l'm the Hower of the family, all right. Miss Lethbridge- I wonder if that's what your brother meant yesterday when he said you were a blooming idiot. Judge- What's the charge against this man? Officer- Stealing nine bottles of beer. Your Honor. h judge- Dicharged. l can't make a case out of nine bottles. Miss Hill- Tell me which is proper: Would you say-lt is possible for two to live on SIO a week, or SIO weekly? Miss Lethbridge- Well, l'd say-lt is possible for two to live on SIO a week weakly. Pat and Mike were going to burglarize a home one evening. They ascended the stairs and found everything quiet. Pat stepped on a board in the floor which made a squeaky noise and aroused wifey. Wifey fjumping upj- Bill, what was that? ' Mike- Me-ow-ow. Hubby- Lie down, it's only the cat. A few minutes later Mike, stepping on the board, made the same squeaky noise. Wifey- Bill, what was that? Pat- Another cat.

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Easter Y 0 X L Y 1' E I 1921 SECOND FORM l ALLAN CHRISTIE, Representative. Nellie- All the good-looking boys 'round here are conceitedf' Kelly- Do you mean to say that of me? Miss Hill fFrenchD- Morris, did you ever see a cedilla under the C? Morris- No: what kind of fish is that? Mr. McCrimmon-- Miss Martin, why were you late this morning? Miss Martin- The hell rang before l got here. Does my boy, inquired Mr. Mac- Michael, seem to have any natural bend in one direction? Yes, sir, said the teacher, he gives every indication of being a captain of in- dustry some day. He gets the other boys to do all his work for him. Old Lady fto beggar at the door- What's this soiled paper? You'll have to tell me what it says. for l haven't my glasses. Beggar- Please, maiam, it says l'm deaf and dumb, and can you spare me a copper or two? Little Foreman- Oh pa, l've swallow- ed a worm! Mr. Foreman fanxiouslyl- Take a drink quick and wash it down.' Little Howard- Aw, let him walk. Mr. Edwards- Where was the Magna Charta signed? Wiarhurton-'AAt the bottom. Miss F., so proud of her French, one day went up to a Frenchman and tried to talk to him in French. But after a while. the Frenchman said: Me no comprehend Engleeshf' IN ROOM 25 lf Margaret is red, is Olive Gray? If Roberts won't, Allan Marshall. If Coleman is weak. is Russel Arm- strong? If Watson has some brains, has Nina Gilmore? lf Sheldon is the eldest son, Watson is Thompson? This is my car! exploded Bob String- er, and what l say about it goes,-see? Dirty-faced mechanic painfully crawling from under the dead Ford- Say engine, mister. Lloyd fcryingl-Ucan l have that candy now? Mrs. Somerville- Didn't l tell you l wouldn't give you any at all if you didnit keep still? Lloyd- Yes, but gee -U Mrs. Somerville- Well, the longer you keep still the sooner you'll get it. While being examined in physiology, Mr. Pugh asked Room 22 to name an ani- mal food. He was surprised to find writ- ten on Sinclair's paper, Dog Biscuits. Cayfer-ul 'phoned you last night but received no answer. Were you all out? Sinclair- No, all in. Daughter- Father, you shoulcln't have kicked Gordon last night. l know you nearly broke his heart. Father- l didn't kick anywhere near his heart! Burkholder- Scientists say that trees contribute to the heat of the atmosphere. Moffat- That's so: the birch has warmed me many a time.

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Easter X' O X Ii Y 4' E I 1921 JR. THIRD FGRIVI OLIVE BROWN, Representative. Roberts flooking disconsolatel- l ask- ed if l could see her home. Bell- Well, what did she say? Roberts- She said, 'Why certainly: l will lend you a picture of it.' Hall fat I2 p.x.J- Gosh, it's raining. lVliss Lees- Well take Dad's umbrella and perhaps he won't mind your coming back, so much. Nellie fell down the elevator, Wasn't found till ten days later. All the neighbors said: Gee whizl What a spoiled child Nellie is lVlr. Barnes- I want to buy the cheap- est watch you have for Ralph. jeweller- l'm afaird l can't guarantee the cheap ones to keep good time.' lVlr. Barnes- Oh, that doesn't matter, as long as he can open the case.' Bowskill-- l swallowed a clove last night and was scared to death l'd choke. Barrie- Yea: they always take my breath away, too. Harris fgoing into Arcade,- ls the buyer in? Smart Clerk- No, but the cellar is down stairs. Look out for the furnace for the fire escapes. Mr. lVlcCarvin- C-urvey, who arrested john Wilkes? Curvey fafter whispered helpj- Gem eral Warrant, sir. Bell, said Mr. Marshall, what are you laughing at? Oh, nothing, answered Bell. Well you'd better get your hat and go home: we can't have people here who laugh at themselves. Beuglass- Barry you're a- Barry- Say that again and 1'll knock you down. Beuglass- Consider it said again. Barry- Consider yourself knocked down then, Sayings of our Question Manufactur- erszn lVlr.Price1 Now you'll take a trip downstairs. Mr. Armstrong- Barry, do you know this theorem? Mr. Simpson- Any difficulties in the home-work? Mc. lVlcCarvin-Ulf it wasn't for the British navy - Mr. Foucar- All right, my man, up to the board. Mr. Freeman- For goodness sake, stop this silly giggling. Roberts-- How can l stir the fire with- out disturbing Butlefs singing? Bell-nohl between the bars, of course. T-l SAITH A wise old owl Sat in an oak, And the more he heard The less he spoke. The less he spoke The more he heard, Why can't Miss Fletcher Be like that bird? 'TWAS EVER THUS To buy her presents, his cash he spent, And her words of thanks were sweeter than honey. But when he had squandered his last red cent, She married a youth who had saved his money.