Hamilton Collegiate Institute - Vox Lycei Yearbook (Hamilton, Ontario Canada)

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Easter Y 0 X L Y 1' E I 1921 SECOND FORM l ALLAN CHRISTIE, Representative. Nellie- All the good-looking boys 'round here are conceitedf' Kelly- Do you mean to say that of me? Miss Hill fFrenchD- Morris, did you ever see a cedilla under the C? Morris- No: what kind of fish is that? Mr. McCrimmon-- Miss Martin, why were you late this morning? Miss Martin- The hell rang before l got here. Does my boy, inquired Mr. Mac- Michael, seem to have any natural bend in one direction? Yes, sir, said the teacher, he gives every indication of being a captain of in- dustry some day. He gets the other boys to do all his work for him. Old Lady fto beggar at the door- What's this soiled paper? You'll have to tell me what it says. for l haven't my glasses. Beggar- Please, maiam, it says l'm deaf and dumb, and can you spare me a copper or two? Little Foreman- Oh pa, l've swallow- ed a worm! Mr. Foreman fanxiouslyl- Take a drink quick and wash it down.' Little Howard- Aw, let him walk. Mr. Edwards- Where was the Magna Charta signed? Wiarhurton-'AAt the bottom. Miss F., so proud of her French, one day went up to a Frenchman and tried to talk to him in French. But after a while. the Frenchman said: Me no comprehend Engleeshf' IN ROOM 25 lf Margaret is red, is Olive Gray? If Roberts won't, Allan Marshall. If Coleman is weak. is Russel Arm- strong? If Watson has some brains, has Nina Gilmore? lf Sheldon is the eldest son, Watson is Thompson? This is my car! exploded Bob String- er, and what l say about it goes,-see? Dirty-faced mechanic painfully crawling from under the dead Ford- Say engine, mister. Lloyd fcryingl-Ucan l have that candy now? Mrs. Somerville- Didn't l tell you l wouldn't give you any at all if you didnit keep still? Lloyd- Yes, but gee -U Mrs. Somerville- Well, the longer you keep still the sooner you'll get it. While being examined in physiology, Mr. Pugh asked Room 22 to name an ani- mal food. He was surprised to find writ- ten on Sinclair's paper, Dog Biscuits. Cayfer-ul 'phoned you last night but received no answer. Were you all out? Sinclair- No, all in. Daughter- Father, you shoulcln't have kicked Gordon last night. l know you nearly broke his heart. Father- l didn't kick anywhere near his heart! Burkholder- Scientists say that trees contribute to the heat of the atmosphere. Moffat- That's so: the birch has warmed me many a time.

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Easter Y O X L Y L' E I 1921 Miss Mcclemont- Archimedes, you say, discovered Specific Gravity on getting into his bath. Why had the principle never before occurred to himP' Miss Macdonald- Probably that was the first time he ever took a bath. A woodpecker lit on Brockelby's head, And settled down to drill. He bored away for a day and a half, And then he broke his bill. l felt his soft breath on my cheek, And the gentle touch of his handg His very presence near me Seemed a breeze on the desert land. He deftly sought my lips, My head he did enfold: Then he broke the silence with: 'Shall the filling be silver or gold? Science Teacher- Do you believe paper can be used effectively to keep peo- ple warm, Miss F.-P Gladys- Well, l should say so. Why, the last report l took home has kept the family hot ever since.' jim- Bobby fell in with a young lady last summer, l believe. jack- Yes: they walked off the end of the pier. -l- jane- Oh, jeanl isn't he a little duck?U Jean- Well, l don't know. l haven'i heard him 'Quack' yet. A war correspondent named Guido, Was struck by a flying torpedo: A Red Cross brigade, Which came to his aid, Found only a sleeveless Tuxedo. An old lady, after waiting in a confec' tionery store for about ten minutes, grew very impatient at the lack of service. Here, young lady. she called, who waits on the nuts? Mistress- You don't seem to know about finger bowls, Norah. Didn't they have them at the last place you worked? Maid- No, ma'am, they mostly wash- ed themselves before they came to the table. Acres- The train pulled out before you finished you speech. Yes, replied Allan, as l heard the shouts of the crowd fading in the distance, l couldn't be sure whether they were ap- plauding me or the engineer. Marriage used to be a lottery, but now you can see what you're getting. The girls of Room 7 would be very much obliged if Oswald would intimate in which drug store he obtains his bee-oo- ti-fuln complexion. Notice-Miss Miller's powder puff is for public use every day in the Cloak Room before nine and two o'clock. The girls in the first row are very thankful that there has not been much frost this season to spoil their splendid view of the Cap's office. 'This Latin sentence was found on the board in Room 8 one morning: Caesar adsum jam forti. QTrans. Caesar had some jam for tea. J --- Munger- Dad, what are the silent watches of the night? They are the ones which their owners forgot to wind, Kenneth. The following notice was posted in a pleasure steamer in lreland---of course- The chairs in the cabin are for the ladies. Gentlemen are requested not to make any use of them till the ladies are seated. - A school inspector demanded suddenly of a class, Who wrote Hamlet? One small boy broke down under the inspector's strong gaze, and blubbercd out, Please, sir, it wasn't me. That evening the inspector was relating the incident at a dinner party. One of the guests, a colonel, rubbing his hands, said, Hal Hal l wouldnit wonder if the little beggar had done it after all. Wanted-A lady with one tooth to bite holes in doughtnuts.

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Iiaster X'CJfi L'Y CNE I AN ODE TO THE GIRLS ls dancing, candy and the show, As far as your poor brains will go Now l'm going to tell to you What l think you ought to do. Wash your perfumed, painted face, Wear some clothes as well as lace, Learn to make those homemade socks Unadorned b-y fancy clocks. Cover up your bony arms, They're the smallest of your charms: Stop the foolish little giggle, Walk up straight, and do not wiggle: Forget the giddy midnight whirl, And try to be a lVlother's Girl. So long, Girlies, do not cry, Crocodile tears don't fizz on l. -A BOY. 1921 Don't tell me you can't remember things, said Tom to John, memory is all a matter of system. Now, in what year was the battle of Agincourt fought? john's memory failed him. E.xactlyl replied Tom. Now, how many days in a week? Seven, came the answer. Very well. Twice seven's fourteen. Multiply by a hundred-fourteen hundred. Number of days in june-thirty. Half of thirty-Fifteen. Fifteen and fourteen hun- dred? Fourteen hundred and fifteen, mur- mured john. Right! That's the year of the battle. System, my boy: that's what does it, sys- tem. Pratt- A good deal depends on the formation of early habits. Miss Wilson- l know it. When l was a baby, my mother paid a woman to wheel me about, and l have been pushed for money ever since. A WARNING TO GIRLS Don't put these jokes too near your face, Or you'll get blown to chowder: lt's dangerous to place dry things So near a store of powder. If all the rats were dead would the Catskill Mountains? Miss Kelly- Oh, l'm the Hower of the family, all right. Miss Lethbridge- I wonder if that's what your brother meant yesterday when he said you were a blooming idiot. Judge- What's the charge against this man? Officer- Stealing nine bottles of beer. Your Honor. h judge- Dicharged. l can't make a case out of nine bottles. Miss Hill- Tell me which is proper: Would you say-lt is possible for two to live on SIO a week, or SIO weekly? Miss Lethbridge- Well, l'd say-lt is possible for two to live on SIO a week weakly. Pat and Mike were going to burglarize a home one evening. They ascended the stairs and found everything quiet. Pat stepped on a board in the floor which made a squeaky noise and aroused wifey. Wifey fjumping upj- Bill, what was that? ' Mike- Me-ow-ow. Hubby- Lie down, it's only the cat. A few minutes later Mike, stepping on the board, made the same squeaky noise. Wifey- Bill, what was that? Pat- Another cat.