Hamilton Collegiate Institute - Vox Lycei Yearbook (Hamilton, Ontario Canada)

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Easter Y O X L Y L' E I 1921 Miss Mcclemont- Archimedes, you say, discovered Specific Gravity on getting into his bath. Why had the principle never before occurred to himP' Miss Macdonald- Probably that was the first time he ever took a bath. A woodpecker lit on Brockelby's head, And settled down to drill. He bored away for a day and a half, And then he broke his bill. l felt his soft breath on my cheek, And the gentle touch of his handg His very presence near me Seemed a breeze on the desert land. He deftly sought my lips, My head he did enfold: Then he broke the silence with: 'Shall the filling be silver or gold? Science Teacher- Do you believe paper can be used effectively to keep peo- ple warm, Miss F.-P Gladys- Well, l should say so. Why, the last report l took home has kept the family hot ever since.' jim- Bobby fell in with a young lady last summer, l believe. jack- Yes: they walked off the end of the pier. -l- jane- Oh, jeanl isn't he a little duck?U Jean- Well, l don't know. l haven'i heard him 'Quack' yet. A war correspondent named Guido, Was struck by a flying torpedo: A Red Cross brigade, Which came to his aid, Found only a sleeveless Tuxedo. An old lady, after waiting in a confec' tionery store for about ten minutes, grew very impatient at the lack of service. Here, young lady. she called, who waits on the nuts? Mistress- You don't seem to know about finger bowls, Norah. Didn't they have them at the last place you worked? Maid- No, ma'am, they mostly wash- ed themselves before they came to the table. Acres- The train pulled out before you finished you speech. Yes, replied Allan, as l heard the shouts of the crowd fading in the distance, l couldn't be sure whether they were ap- plauding me or the engineer. Marriage used to be a lottery, but now you can see what you're getting. The girls of Room 7 would be very much obliged if Oswald would intimate in which drug store he obtains his bee-oo- ti-fuln complexion. Notice-Miss Miller's powder puff is for public use every day in the Cloak Room before nine and two o'clock. The girls in the first row are very thankful that there has not been much frost this season to spoil their splendid view of the Cap's office. 'This Latin sentence was found on the board in Room 8 one morning: Caesar adsum jam forti. QTrans. Caesar had some jam for tea. J --- Munger- Dad, what are the silent watches of the night? They are the ones which their owners forgot to wind, Kenneth. The following notice was posted in a pleasure steamer in lreland---of course- The chairs in the cabin are for the ladies. Gentlemen are requested not to make any use of them till the ladies are seated. - A school inspector demanded suddenly of a class, Who wrote Hamlet? One small boy broke down under the inspector's strong gaze, and blubbercd out, Please, sir, it wasn't me. That evening the inspector was relating the incident at a dinner party. One of the guests, a colonel, rubbing his hands, said, Hal Hal l wouldnit wonder if the little beggar had done it after all. Wanted-A lady with one tooth to bite holes in doughtnuts.

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Enstx-1' Y U X li Y 1' E l 1921 l 5 FIRST FORM 5 I F. HODD, Representative. Miss Board entered a music shop, went Over to a new clerk and asked in her sweetest tone, Have you 'Kissed me in the lVloonlight?' U Astonished Clerk- lt must have been the man at the other counter: l've only been here a week. Miss Dawson was talking about pro- verbs as usual to Miss Morris, who really wanted to catch the 4.l0 car to the Beach, but could not get away from the talker. Well, said Miss Dawson, they say silence is golden and speech is only silver. Yes, put in Miss Morris hurriedly. please make your speech quick silver. Trying to break the news to a widow of a man who was washed away in the tide at the ocean, one of his friends wrote this letter to her:- Dear Mrs. C.: Your husband cannot come home to- day as his bathing suit was washed away in the tide. P.S.-Your husband was inside it. Young fquarrellingj- What kind ot death do you want to die? Hood- l expect I'lI be hanged for kill- ing you. Sinclair and Thomas were to play a joke on Mr. McCrimmon. They took a centipede's body, a butterfly's wings. a grasshoppefs legs and a beetle's head and glued them together, We caught this bug in a field, they explained. Can you tell us what kind it it, sir? nDid it hum when you caught it? he asked, Yes, they answered. Then, said Mr. McCrimmon, it's a humbugf' He had asked the father for his daugh- ter's hand. How much is your income? asked the father. Twenty dollars, he replied. That wouldn't keep Mary in handker- chiefs, answered the father contemptu- ously. Then, said the young man, if she has that kind of nose l don't want her. WHAT ARE HIS FATHER'S FEET LIKE? Fred is very capable, said Aunt Mary, but l doubt if he has head enough to fill his father's shoes. My hair is falling out, admitted Brad- tield to the druggist's assistant. Can you recommend anything to keep it in? Certainly, replied the obliging clerk, here is a nice cardboard box. Morrow-.'lsn't nature wonderful? Miss Drysdale- How's lat? Morrow- He gives us all faces but we can pick our own teeth. Miss Mcllwraith- Do you know what kind of leather makes the best shoes? Thomas- No, but banana skins make fine slippersf Miss Leaver- Have you ever taken chloroform? Miss Boyd- Why nol Who teaches it? Davis fduring a geography periodJ--- Ulf a man were to dig a hole through the earth and put a ladder down, would he come out feet or head first? Mr. Pugh- Now, Huddard, can you tell us anything about the lron Age? Huddardknxvell-er-er-'lm a bit rusty on that subject, sir.

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Easter Y 0 X L Y 1' E I 1921 SECOND FORM l ALLAN CHRISTIE, Representative. Nellie- All the good-looking boys 'round here are conceitedf' Kelly- Do you mean to say that of me? Miss Hill fFrenchD- Morris, did you ever see a cedilla under the C? Morris- No: what kind of fish is that? Mr. McCrimmon-- Miss Martin, why were you late this morning? Miss Martin- The hell rang before l got here. Does my boy, inquired Mr. Mac- Michael, seem to have any natural bend in one direction? Yes, sir, said the teacher, he gives every indication of being a captain of in- dustry some day. He gets the other boys to do all his work for him. Old Lady fto beggar at the door- What's this soiled paper? You'll have to tell me what it says. for l haven't my glasses. Beggar- Please, maiam, it says l'm deaf and dumb, and can you spare me a copper or two? Little Foreman- Oh pa, l've swallow- ed a worm! Mr. Foreman fanxiouslyl- Take a drink quick and wash it down.' Little Howard- Aw, let him walk. Mr. Edwards- Where was the Magna Charta signed? Wiarhurton-'AAt the bottom. Miss F., so proud of her French, one day went up to a Frenchman and tried to talk to him in French. But after a while. the Frenchman said: Me no comprehend Engleeshf' IN ROOM 25 lf Margaret is red, is Olive Gray? If Roberts won't, Allan Marshall. If Coleman is weak. is Russel Arm- strong? If Watson has some brains, has Nina Gilmore? lf Sheldon is the eldest son, Watson is Thompson? This is my car! exploded Bob String- er, and what l say about it goes,-see? Dirty-faced mechanic painfully crawling from under the dead Ford- Say engine, mister. Lloyd fcryingl-Ucan l have that candy now? Mrs. Somerville- Didn't l tell you l wouldn't give you any at all if you didnit keep still? Lloyd- Yes, but gee -U Mrs. Somerville- Well, the longer you keep still the sooner you'll get it. While being examined in physiology, Mr. Pugh asked Room 22 to name an ani- mal food. He was surprised to find writ- ten on Sinclair's paper, Dog Biscuits. Cayfer-ul 'phoned you last night but received no answer. Were you all out? Sinclair- No, all in. Daughter- Father, you shoulcln't have kicked Gordon last night. l know you nearly broke his heart. Father- l didn't kick anywhere near his heart! Burkholder- Scientists say that trees contribute to the heat of the atmosphere. Moffat- That's so: the birch has warmed me many a time.